Episode Report Card Erin: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Swing Out, Sister
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.24.2004
Sloane wants to prevent the possibility of the Covenant laying "waste to [The Passenger's] psyche" and eventually killing his only child. That's why he's helping Syd and Jack. "All I want to do is to protect my child," sputters Sloane. And, knowing what we know now (that is, if we've seen the episode, and I'm assuming we all have), this sentence is almost comically overwrought. Heh. Sloane's such a duplicitous prick. Syd wants to know how they find her sister. "We use this," says Sloane, reaching for The Hourglass. He picks it up, raises it over his head as Syd and Jack watch with horror, and then heaves it down to the ground, where it shatters, releasing…wait for it…Green Goo™. The Green Goo™ forms a…big ball of Green Goo™. Hey. When did we slip over from Alias to Ghostbusters? I didn't notice Bill Murray or Harold Ramis in the room. Although you can bet your ass if either one of those guys were in the room, this scene would be a whole hell of a lot funnier, not to mention FASTER.
Oops Center. Moronen's going through her files, looking for an errant receipt for a purchase of fourteen boxes of L'Oreal black kohl eyeliner and two cases of Bonne Belle Lipsmackers in Ragin' Raspberry. Vaughn walks up and asks why Moronen's at the office, since she was supposed to be working from home today. Moronen just says she had to pick up her files and her workbook on "How To Be A Lousy Spy," and then she's outta there. She shoots him a sideways glance and mentions something about their Fiji trip. Vaughn just tells her to consider next month to get away. She says "I love you," kisses him, and he totally doesn't return the "I love you." Heh. His phone rings, and it's Brill. Remember him? He reminds Vaughn how they met and tells him he has something important to reveal about Daddy Vaughn. He tells Vaughn where to meet him and when, and they ring off. Moronen asks who it was, and Vaughn just delivers this lame excuse that it's the dry cleaners and he has to go pick up a suit that's been there since 1982. Moronen offers to pick it up, but Vaughn tells her to get the hell outta there and fucking leave him alone already so he can go find out the dirt on his dad. Moronen leaves, and Vaughn shoots Weiss a look like, dude? Go git her. Weiss goes and gits her.
Moronen gets into her car and drives off. Weiss follows. Hee. Weiss actually gets to leave the office again! And drive! Yay! More Weiss! More Weiss! Excuse me. Over at the Daddies Have Secrets Too Meet 'n' Greet, Vaughn's standing outside an elevator. It opens to reveal Shaft, a.k.a. Richard Roundtree, a.k.a. Brill, standing there, waiting for Vaughn. Vaughn gets into the elevator, and the two of them start riding it up or down or sideways or something. Brill starts his story. "I told you I worked with your father," he begins, "but what I didn't tell you is that I was with him on his last mission." WHUMP! That sound you hear is the body of the Exposition Fairy landing on top of the elevator. "LEMME IN! LEMME IN! I GOT SOME EXPOSITING TO DO!" Brill stops the elevator. The Exposition Fairy rolls over and falls through the service entrance into the cab. "OW. OWWWW! God, I hate this FUCKING JOB. I look like fuckin' Stevie Nicks! OWWW!"