Episode Report Card Jessica: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Four Scary Stories
By Jessica | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.11.2001
Back to the kitchen table. "You guys do realize that this calls for serious revenge," Joey says. Pacey tells her that they were just out to prove that she's afraid of her own shadow. "You know, you two wouldn't be so sure of yourselves if you knew what a weathered scream queen I was," Joey says. Shouldn't that be, "what a weathered scream queen I am"? That sentence just sounded awkward to me. Anyway, Pacey snarks that he forgot that she's "seen it all." Joey sucks her lips into her mouth. "I don't spend all my time with you lay-abouts," she says, and while I must give Joey props for her use of the word "lay-abouts," I'd like to point out that, thus far, she seems to have spent no time whatsoever with Jack or Pacey, much less all of it. Anyway. She's "seen things. Disturbing things. Behavior, that is disturbing. And that makes me want to teach things to a woman named Mrs. Tingle." Jack asks her to tell them her tale. "I don't think you can handle it," Joey announces. Pacey is all like, whatever. "Okay, Pace," Joey says solemnly. "It was Halloween night. Audrey was walking with me to the library, which was in itself a sign of the apocalypse…"
Fade to Audrey, all gussied up in an ivory satin, bias-cut '70s prom dress, complaining that she knows "half a dozen" parties she and Joey could be hitting right now. Even though it's still daylight. In November. In Boston. Which means it can't be later than 4 PM. But anyway. Joey insists that she has to go to the library. Joey, in the first moment of realism in this episode, is wearing a baggy sweatshirt and what look like pajama pants. It's about time this show highlighted the lazy grunginess that most college students fall into eventually, if not immediately. "Nobody should be alone in the library on Halloween," Audrey says. Joey counters by explaining that the reading material she needs for class LIVES in the library! She's not allowed to check it out! And besides, she's not in the mood to party, "with everything that's happened." I guess that's a reference to The Death Of the Flash. Audrey makes a face, as Joey gives her a once-over and asks her who she's supposed to be. "I'm Carrie! Carrie White! Tragically misunderstood telekinetic heroine of the Stephen King book!" Audrey explains animatedly. Joey points out that she ought to be covered in blood. "Well, I guess," Audrey concedes. "But bleurgh. What cute boy is going to want to talk to me if I'm red and sticky all night?" Audrey, it seems, subscribes to my own theory about Halloween costumes, which is that there are two kinds of people; those who want to look gross, and those who want to look hot. Personally, I go for the latter. Joey chuckles. "How are they going to know you're not just some generic homecoming queen or beauty contest winner?" she asks. "Because. I'll tell them," Audrey explains. Joey comments that at least Audrey has the hair right. "Thank you," Audrey says. "I used to wear my hair like this when I was on Freaks & Geeks, a far better written show. But a girl has to eat, you know?" They head toward the library, Audrey moaning about how badly her shoes hurt. Dude, I have so been there. I'm there right now. I'm, like, the mayor of there.