Episode Report Card Jessica: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Four Scary Stories
By Jessica | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.11.2001
"A truly scary story should hit you where you live. Find you in a safe place, and turn it into a den of nightmares," Grams begins. "Okay," Pacey says. "Mission accomplished, Mrs. Ryan, because I'm starting to feel a little freaked out." Already? Wow. "Good," Grams coos. "My story -- actually, it's Jennifah's story. An experience that terrified her so deeply, she could never bear to retell the tale." Fade to Jen's first night at the radio station, where she's all alone. It's almost midnight.
In the booth, Jen places a needle down on a record. It's Marilyn Manson's cover of "Sweet Dreams." She rubs her eyes, tired, and looks up as a branch taps against the window of the studio. "Dammit," Jen says, and goes outside to…deal with the branch? I don't know why that's such a problem, but whatever. Anyway, Jen props the radio station door open with a trashcan and goes out and rips the branch off the tree, and walks back to the radio station and finds that the door has shut and locked behind her. She doesn't have her key. Like the radio station would be completely empty. She'd have a producer. Or the person whose shift began after hers. Or before it. Or -- oh, whatever. Jen tries to pick the lock with her student ID card, but only manages to drop it inside the lobby. "Shoot," she says mildly, and runs around back to try the other door. Also locked. In the alley behind her, there is a figure that looks very much like a man. The wind hisses. She whips around. "What do you want?" she asks the figure…that turns out to be a mannequin, which falls at her feet. Jen yelps and races back toward the radio station's front door. Inside the booth, the record is skipping. Magically, the front door is now unlocked, and she races into the booth and apologizes for the scratch on the record, and starts a new one. She looks up and sees her ID…on the counter in front of her. "Jennnnnnniiiiffffffferrrrrrr," something says, and Jen looks up and a body comes smashing through the window and she screams and screams.
Grams's. Everyone stares at her. "Now that. Is a scary story," Pacey offers. Except for the part where it makes no sense at all and wasn't at all scary! Seriously! Was it a dead body? Or the mannequin? Or a tree? The hell? Joey's all covering her eyes. Grams smiles and gets up. "I hope I didn't give you jaded cinephiles too much of a fright. Good night! Sweet dreams!" she offers cheerily, before going up to bed. Heh. Go, Grams! "I guess this is typically the time of night that we go to sleep," Jack stutters. "Don't let us stop you. Unless you're too scared to go upstairs by yourself," Pacey tells him. "Yeah. Unless you're too scared to go to that creepy little floating house of yours," Jack retorts. "Why would I be afraid? There's nothing to be afraid of. We were just going," Pacey says. He sets up the next episode by offering to cook them all dinner "when Dawson and Jen get back." "That's enough of the Fear Factor," Jack smirks. "You know what you just earned yourself? You just earned yourself contaminated food," Pacey says. "Jo? Want to brave the T?" She will, if he will. "Let's go," Pacey offers. "But you are going to walk in front of me, right?" Joey asks nervously, as they get ready to go. Pacey agrees, but then wonders how she'll "see the man who's going to jump out of the bushes and stab her in the throat." He pokes her gently. She yelps. Aw, those two crazy kids! So cute! "Pacey, there is no man!" she says. Pacey laughs. "I'm all for gender equality," he tells her. "It could be a woman. Some green-eyed Angelina Jolie type. Actually, that might be pretty interesting." Joey rolls her eyes, and tells him she wants to get going before it strikes midnight "and Grams emerges, looking for her lost head." Jack snickers, and exclaims that he knew "the Grams thing" ran deep. Pacey and Joey and Jack keep chattering as Joey and Pacey get bundled up to head back outside…and someone -- or something -- watches them through the window. It's probably SWSNBR, since, like the murderer in a bad horror flick, she just won't go away.