Episode Report Card Potes: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Punch Out
By Potes | Season 1 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.18.2007
Meanwhile, Wili has met Quincy Combs at some sketchy location. She tells him that she's looking for insight on what Fey did to keep her romance with Bradford alive for all those years. Quincy notes that Wili never returns his calls unless she wants something. She tells him that she didn't come empty-handed and pulls an envelope out of her jacket. He tells her that cash is crude, and she says that it's not cash -- it's photographs showing the eventual transformation of Alex Meade into Alexis. Quincy is all about the tranny-formation. Wili asks again what Fey did to turn Bradford on. Quincy says that from what he could gather, Fey kept her feet as soft as a baby's bottom -- daily pedicures, dead sea salts, paraffin treatments. Apparently her velvety instep rattled his cage. Quincy adds somewhat unnecessarily that Fey must have been quite facile, as she described feeding Bradford cherries... that she picked up with her toes. Kind of makes you think differently about cherry jam, doesn't it? Quincy is similarly impressed by the photos of Alexis, and I get the feeling that any minute, he's going to try playing the "Can you find the six things that are different?" Megatouch game with them.
Back at Constance's house, Ignacio is looking through her photo album of clients whom she's helped become citizens. There are apparently quite a few. Ignacio asks why she's never in any of the pictures, and she says that she's always the one holding the camera. Yeah, John Hinckley had the same excuse. IT DOES NOT MAKE HER ANY LESS CREEPY. Constance says that it's time for pork roast. Ignacio asks what about Jerry/Gary, and Constance says that Jerry/Gary isn't coming. He called before Ignacio got there, and isn't taking the case. Ignacio is upset, and Constance says that they knew it wasn't a slam dunk, but she is still committed to helping him become a U.S. Citizen. So much so, that she wants to make him her wife. Yeah, I know. In Atlantic City, no less! She says that she's booked the bridal suite at Bally's, and that the next day, he'll be able to strut the boardwalk as a legal man! She offers him some wine to celebrate. Ignacio says that Constance can't be serious, and Constance offers, "Oh that's right, you've got that funky heart. I'll pour you some grape juice." Ignacio looks worried, but I think he should calm down. Near, far, or married to a crazy lady, that funky heart will go on.
Back at Prague, Betty dances distractedly with Big Ben. He twirls her and says that he's wanted to do that since he started watching Dancing with the Stars. She says that he can dip her like Leeza Gibbons. And he does! It would be really impressive if Betty removed her leg right about now. Ben wants to spin her, and asks if she can handle it. She asks, "Can you?" in an impressively flirty fashion. So he picks her up, and we get a Saturday Night Fever-esque spin perspective. Things are fine and dandy until Betty spots a red hat, and she assumes that Quincy has tracked down Daniel at the club. She freaks out and asks Ben to lift her again, then directs him so she can get a better look at the red hat. Ben finally puts her down and asks what's going on. He says that he thought she was different, but she's like every other girl in the city -- always scanning the room and looking for something better. And, I mean, maybe women are legitimately afraid that Ben's going to trip and land on top of them and crush them. Betty protests, but Ben is having none of it. He walks away, and Betty misses yet another chance at a quality one-night stand.