Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Tweener's chance for a new life -- dead!
By Sobell | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 09.24.2006
As they're scoping out the house, a well-assembled blonde in a silky Asian-print robe comes outside. The boys all groan as they realize they won't have the luxury of breaking into an empty house. As they watch the lady pick up her paper, T-Bag muses, "Ain't no problem a screwdriver to her temple won't fix." Michael rolls his eyes and thinks, Would it kill the universe to cut me ONE BREAK?
Credits. Also, commercials this week. There is something forlorn about the Gap relying on footage from Funny Face to sell pants. That footage is 49 years old: why is it being held up as appropriate for contemporary fashion? I can't imagine that in 1957, retailers were all, "You know what says, 'Timeless?' Long-line corsets, like they used to have in 1908."
Anyhoodle, we're back. The boys watch the lady walk back into the house. T-Bag helpfully points out, "People die all the time. Five million dollars comes along once in a lifetime." Michael is determined to get in that house without hurting anyone. T-Bag gives him a look like Come ON! Linc is the one who says he's thought his way out of this sticky situation -- but first, they'll need some supplies.
The guys pull over on the undeveloped bluff overlooking the erstwhile ranch. Apparently, they talked over Linc's marvelous plan en route, because they're all squabbling over the details now. T-Bag is busy arguing that Tweener can't be trusted, which is a little bit like Ann Coulter arguing that Hillary Clinton is an unsubtle debater. Linc points out that Tweener has no clue where the house is, so he can't lead cops back if he gets caught in town. When the grown-ups finally let Tweener out of the trunk, he is not exactly grateful. Michael immediately snots, "Guess what? I need you to do something." Tweener is eventually amenable... so Michael tells him to go back to the same garden center where he was beaten silly, and shop from a list. That seems kind of cruel to Tweener. Michael also hands Tweener a twenty and tells him to gas up the car while he's out and about. "And get me some Yoohoo," Linc adds. (Not. These guys apparently are holding out for their tacos and beer.) Tweener sulks over to the car, and Michael adds quietly, "David? Don't screw this up." I have always liked how Michael calls some people by their given names; it's such a nice insight into how he chooses to relate to people. Inspired by this morsel of civility, Tweener tells Michael, "This ain't Fox River. You're looking at the real deal, now."