Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Tweener's chance for a new life -- dead!
By Sobell | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 09.24.2006
Why, because if Tweener behaved sensibly, then we wouldn't have the plot complication in the form of Mulletman's friend -- let's call him Wingman -- come to see what the Mulletman is up to. Wingman happens to notice the discarded baseball bat on the floor. He whips out his phone, and Tweener's face slides into sick resignation. As Wingman stays on hold, Mulletman begins grunting again. Tweener moves -- and Wingman takes a short, involuntary nap.
Commercials. You know, I have longed for a dessert-delivery service, but I am not entirely sure Domino's is the vendor for it.
When we come back, Lincoln is busy proving that wood is a terrible conductor. (I kid! He's done a much better job this season of expressing recognizable human emotion.) He's actually at a transformer box, turning off electricity to the house that the boys are targeting. Michael asks when Linc had a chance to learn about electricity. Without looking up from his work, Linc replies, "I used to steal copper wire from transformer boxes, then sell it on the docks, make a couple of bucks." He pauses, then adds, "You were at school, of course." The thing I like about that comment is that I'm not quite sure if it's meant to convey that Linc kept his shady activities below Michael's radar because that's how he took care of his brother, or if he sort of resents that he was doing whatever it took to get a few bucks while Michael moved into the white-collar world.
So then Michael turns his attention to T-Bag, who is watching the blonde woman with the intensity my cats turn on the mice they're stalking. T-Bag gives Michael a too-open smile and says, "I was only looking, pretty! What's that old chestnut? I can look at the menu, doesn't mean I'm going to eat." No, but I bet you'll look at someone else's plate and go, "You gonna kill-- I mean, eat that? Mind if I do?" Michael reiterates that there will be no killing for fun during this $5 million excavation. T-Bag insincerely promises to behave.
Linc announces, "We're good. Now it's up to the kid." On cue, the scene changes to the car rushing back to the assigned meeting spot. Tweener is totally rattled. As Michael and T-Bag examine the stuff in the trunk, astute student of human nature Lincoln notices that Tweener is sweating, trembling, and panting. He heads over and asks softly, "What?" Tweener tries to play it off. This is a mistake, as all of Linc's discretion is now gone; he lifts Tweener up by the throat, slams him into the back of the car, and loudly repeats his question. Tweener stammers, "Okay, check it: this fool came in the shop, he was actin' all shady, he got a bad vibe, so he picked up his cellie phone and went to make a call, so I popped him." Linc grabs Tweener and shakes him like a rag doll, screaming. "Speak the King's English! Don't make me be your Henry Higgins, because I don't want to become accustomed to your face!" Or perhaps I'm just fantasizing that everyone else finds the phrase "cellie phone" as irritating as I do. The guys are really flipping out because there was a call to the sheriff. Not that they have any Monday-morning quarterbacking to do on this decision. Linc pulls them together and says they've got to move on this now.