Episode Report Card Demian: C | 275 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Dolt, Be Not Proud
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 10 | Aired on 2005.11.27
Just as The Retard makes threatening noises about the demon who hired Reinhardt to kidnap "Chrissssssty" fifteen years ago, the rather attractive demon in question sort of spark-shudders into the room with a miniature crossbow trained at The Retard's head. Phoebe shouts out a warning, but it's too late, for Reinhardt's Freddy Krueger claw has snatched The Retard by her maggoty throat, and the demon now wrestles her around in a semi-circle that unfortunately places him directly in the path of one of the new arrival's arrows. The missile spikes into Reinhardt's neck, knocking him out almost instantly. "Burke" next unleashes an arrow in Phoebe's direction, but she scampers behind one of the table's heavy legs at the last instant, and the poisoned dart plows harmlessly into the wood. Burke then speed-shudders over to The Retard to sneer, "Nice try, witch," before crouching to place a paw on Reinhardt's knee and sputter on out of there with the unconscious mercenary. The Retard rages about losing the only clue she had to her sister's disappearance. Shut the fuck up, Retard. Nobody fucking cares about you or your goddamned stupid sister. Cow.
The shot cuts to Raige, wearing a depressingly familiar top at an outdoor café on her lunch date with the lovely Ivan Sergei. She's awkwardly asking him if he has any brothers and sisters, which is more than a little odd, because as we'll shortly see, they're about to pay the check, and you'd think this ground would have been covered already. (By the way, the answer to Raige's question is no, or none that he knows of, at any rate, because he was bounced from foster home to foster home as a child, as you'll recall from last week's episode.) Doesn't matter much, though, because Sergei and McGowan are still delightfully at ease with one another in this scene, and so the characters' flirtatious steps and occasional missteps towards romance have yet to annoy me. Well, until right this very instant, actually. Ivan picks up the check, does some quick math, and lets Raige know that her half of the bill is $14.50. He darts out of the frame to get some change, oblivious to Raige's snotty and disbelieving sneer, just as her cell goes off. It's Piper, of course, wondering if Raige is okay. "No, I'm not," is Raige's peevish response. Peevish and thoughtless, actually, for Piper instantly leaps to conclusions to fret, "Whaddya mean? Did you see Death?" "Nah," Raige casually replies, "just a cad," and fuck you, Raige. He's splitting a $29 lunch tab with you, not screwing your bony, hag-ass slut of a half-sister. Whatever. And it was going so well. Piper panics a bit about Phoebe fighting demons and Raige navigating the city streets in her tiny Volkswagen, what with Death roaming the land and all, but Raige just hangs up on her to take her own leave of the just-returned Ivan -- which she does by caustically tossing him a twenty with snotty instructions to keep the change before flouncing away from the table in a righteous snit. Ivan, quite naturally, is perplexed. ["I can see why, given that it's 2005. Shut up, Raige." -- Sars]