Episode Report Card Demian: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Headless, The Sweathogs, And America's Crotch
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.07.2004
But that's not important right now. What is important is that the above exchange allows Phoebe to segue into her Issue Of The Week, which involves her "biological clock" and the "echoing" noises it's making deep within vast empty spaces of her head. Piper, who'd been too patiently abiding all of this nonsense, asks, "Neurotic people? Yeah, can we get back to my neurosis? The one where I'm a rotten mother who's raising an anti-social child?" The Glamorous Ladies turn to examine the littlest Psycho, who hasn't moved since last we saw him. Piper blathers something about how she and Phoebe had each other growing up, but the Psycho's entirely alone. Because God forbid she ever invite Tongue Boy over for some quality time in the product-placed playpen, because that would involve bringing back Sweet Seth and his magnificent cheekbones, and everyone knows I can't ever get what I want out of this stupid show. Also, it would involve resurrecting Continuity from the dead, and the Manor simply hasn't room enough for another zombie-like literary convention, what with the constantly half-crocked Contrivance loafing around the parlor in his gravy-stained boxer shorts all the damn time. In any event, Raige, who's gone back to ringing Buttfuck, pauses long enough to dispute Piper's nonsense about only children being anti-social. "But you didn't know you had powers," Piper argues, "so it was safe for you to have friends -- your mother didn't have to worry about you orbing out during a play-date." "Piper," Phoebe gently chides, "don't you think you're overreacting a little?" She's always overreacting, Phoebe. Where the hell have you been? Don't answer that, because I already know the answer, and as said answer involves you getting your bony ass laid in Hong Kong, I'd rather move on to other things. And look at that -- no sooner have I typed those words than The Cleansing Burst Of Synchronicity arrives in the nursery to boot the littlest Psycho into an orb cloud that presently dissipates, leaving behind a messy pile of plastic dishware where the dead-eyed sociopath had been. The Glamorous Ladies gape.
Manor. The littlest Psycho stands alone in the front hall, staring up the staircase as something off-screen materializes noisily. The angle shifts just in time for us to watch as a heavy door rays into the wall above the stairwell landing, and ow! My eyes! Some dipshit production designer decided to repaint the entire foyer a vile canary yellow. I liked the rose-toned walls, people. Must even the sets now piss me off? God, I hate this show. ANY-way, the camera cuts back to the Psycho as Raige orbs in next to him with Phoebe and Piper. Piper immediately howls, "You cannot keep doing this, sweetie!" as Phoebe bends to gather him up in her arms, and you've got to give the unnatural brat credit for this -- he never takes his eyes off whatever is actually holding his attention on the landing. Raige follows his gaze and directs her sisters' attention towards the new door in the wall. As the gals warily step towards the foot of the stairs, Phoebe wails, "Oh, this is not good." You're right, Phoebe. This episode is awful. And it's about to get a hell of a lot worse.