Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Still Charmed And Sucking
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.24.2005
There are a couple of lovely new slo-mos of the individual ladies in those opening credits, by the way, but unfortunately, the entire experience is marred by Kaley Cuoco's depressing appearance in between Combs and Krause. Just looking at this twit's bobble-headed, bubble-brained smirk makes me want to punch myself repeatedly in the head. God, this season is going to suck.
"We were supposed to keep a low profile!" Piper howls as we return from the commercial break. "What were you thinking?" "I was thinking," Raige rages, as she crosses to the kitchen table for no apparent reason whatsoever, "that I spent far too much time in the magical world because nobody even cares that I'm dead!" "There are lots of [those stupid fucking] leprechauns out there," Feebs offers lamely. "I mean real people!" Raige growls. "Your friend Glenn was at your urn," Piper notes, and color me shocked that they remembered a character from three years ago. Raige, however, remains unimpressed, and is about to twitch her way into another tirade when a somewhat attractive twentysomething gentleman eases himself through the room's swinging door to glare at them.
Phoebe and Raige get their panties in a wad over the new arrival and exposure! and wah before Piper flaps a couple of calming hands around in the air and shushes them with "Don't bother." The still-silent gentlemen disappears in a cloud of glowing golf balls from which he emerges in Dolt form, much to Phoebe's audible relief. The Dolt chides his dim wife and her even dimmer sisters for blundering about the Manor in their unglamoured forms for a bit before Raige is assaulted by The Dental Drill Of Dreadful Discord. "Does that mean the [ever-useless] Elders know she's alive?" Phoebe wonders. "They can't," Piper replies. "We cloaked ourselves from them." "Could be a new charge," the Dolt guesses, explaining that "a connection to one's Whitelighter is automatic." Raige, instantly convinced her new charge is one of the mourners and perhaps even under demonic threat at that very moment, clatters over to the kitchen door to scope out the other rooms. Phoebe yanks Raige back, but not before she herself catches sight of Jason Lewis solemnly bowing his head in front of Phoebe's portrait. After a brief bit of babbling wherein Phoebe and Piper insist that they "don't do demons anymore," Phoebe pokes her head around the door for another look at Jason, who's apparently some guy she saw all the time in the elevator at All The News That's Fit To Fuck Me. Raige -- no stranger to the many joys of the slampieces -- approves. More on Jason Lewis later, though, for as Piper orders her sisters back into their glamoured forms, we head back into...