Episode Report Card Deborah: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Maternal Instincts
By Deborah | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.23.2003
As they walk through the halls, Joan is complaining to her posse, "Making a battery from scratch -- how'd Lischak know that's exactly what I wanted to do in life?" Adam: "Chah, me too." Joan: "Cool, only I'm kidding!" Grace warns her, "Mmm...maternal unit, eleven o'clock." Helen walks by and smiles, but says nothing. Grace: "That ever weird you out?" Joan: "No, no. No, it's great. Why would I want a private life?" Some guy who looks like he could be George Harrison's son, but is actually Eliza Dushku's brother Nate, comes running up behind Adam, waving a CD. Professor Frink thinks he looks more like Davy Jones. He tells Adam he checked out his "stuff" and that he digs it: "I want to punch it on my show." I already want to punch something, too, but it's not Adam's music. Adam snatches it back with annoyance, asking him where he got it. The love child of George Harrison and Davy Jones explains, "I lifted it out of your backpack during the STD film in health class. You were riveted." Nice. Boundary issues, much? Adam: "That was a bogus move." Grace and Joan go to the lockers while Georgie Harrison-Jones, Jr. tells Adam, "It's all in the interest of making you famous, yo." Joan says to Adam, "I thought you gave up on music." Grace says he doesn't have any music: "He samples nature sounds. Crickets having sex. Something that he and only other crickets get off on." Hey, hey, watch it. Adam could turn out to be the next John Cage or Iannis Xenakis or Karlheinz Stockhausen...or maybe more like Harry Partch or Eugene Chadbourne. Whereas hipster boy here is going to end up being a skeevy DJ at some dive club, coming on to underage girls for the rest of his life. He introduces himself to Joan as Clay Fisher, and Joan tells him her name. They smile at each other pretty warmly. In the background, Adam wears his dismay and confusion so openly that my heart almost breaks. Clay goes back to Adam and asks if he can play his stuff on his show: "I need you to sign off." Adam says he'll think about it, but you can pretty much tell he's already made up his mind. Clay claps him on the shoulder a couple of times and takes off, making sure to glance back at Joan a couple of times as he goes. Joan, trying to be cool and blasé and totally failing, asks, "Who was that masked man?" Adam says, with no small measure of contempt: "Works at the school radio station. You know, weekend DJ, arbiter of cool." Why would a school need a DJ on a weekend? Grace defends him: "He's not a total buttwart. At least he has a sense of direction. And he's the go-to guy if you ever need a fire drill to get you out of a test." Clay decides when they have fire drills? I notice a little sign inside Grace's locker that says, "Sorority Girls Suck." Adam says Clay just wants to make fun of his stuff. Joan thinks he's sincere. Adam: "Rockin' insight, Jane." He leaves with a look of disgust. Joan asks if she just missed something. Grace: "Uh, Clay Fisher just flirted with you, Adam Rove is all about you, dramatic tension ensued...were you born without a radar?" Hee! More Grace and Adam, please. Joan just kind of grins to herself and says, "I guess I was."
Will's at home being interviewed by Sidney Poitier's daughter, Sydney Tamiia Poitier. I guess you really need the "Tamiia" in there if you're going to name your daughter Sydney Poitier. I bet it's not too hard to get auditions, but it can't be an easy name for a young actor to live up to. Also, I love the lamp next to Will. Forget The West Wing set designers...the Joan of Arcadia designers and I are best friends 4-eva. Okay, so she's asking Will about being brought in to kick the ass of an inept police department. Will rejects the description "inept" and argues that they were overworked. She says the crime rate in Arcadia was skyrocketing before he got there. It was? Dude, how big is this place? Is there any place in North America where crime rates are actually skyrocketing? ["The White House?" -- Sars] The reporter says, "Word is there are some interdepartmental disputes, resulting in a general atmosphere of chaos?" Will doesn't care for the word "chaos" either: "There are some kinks in the system, and I'm here to work those out." Reporter: "Well, what's floating around in this atmosphere is that this is High Noon, and you are Gary Cooper." Will laughs, surprised and flattered: "Well...I'm Gary Cooper?" Dude needs more media training. Don't be surprised to wake up and find a newspaper headline that reads: "Chief Girardi: 'I'm Gary Cooper.'"