Episode Report Card Deborah: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Maternal Instincts
By Deborah | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.23.2003
Kevin rolls in and says he's home, then sees that his dad is talking to someone, and apologizes for interrupting. Will introduces him to the reporter, whose name is Rebecca Askew. Will asks him how his job search went. Kevin says he has applications all over town, and now he just waits to hear something. Rebecca asks what kind of job he's looking for. Kevin, ever the smartass, replies, "Well, brain surgeon's my first choice, followed by rock star, and third would be night shift at Burger Man Barry's." She laughs, asking where he went to school. Will quickly interjects that Kevin had a scholarship to the University of Arizona to play baseball. I wonder if they lived in Arizona before. I always think they're from Chicago for some reason. Kevin adds that that didn't pan out: "So now I'm just a guy pounding the pavement. Well, not so much pounding as rolling." Rebecca doesn't seem to know whether to laugh at that, and Will says nothing. She says that they desperately need a fact checker at the newspaper: "It's a thankless job for an intelligent person, but it could lead to better positions." Kevin asks what's involved. Maybe if you have to ask that, you're not the right person for the job. She says you read the stories and check the facts: "Pretty much like it sounds." They all chuckle, and Kevin says he could do that. She asks if he wants to come in tomorrow. He says he does. Did she just ask him in for an interview, or did she just hire him? Also, what is she, the editor-in-chief? Will quickly interjects, "I'm sure it's understood, but he's not...any kind of inside source for you." Chee, Dad, take a pill. Worry more about that Gary Cooper remark. Rebecca assures Will, as she hands Kevin her card, "I'm an ethical journalist, Chief Girardi." Will: "And I'm Gary Cooper, so it's all good." No, don't repeat that. Oy.
Joan's out in the garage rummaging around while Luke harangues her. He looks at a pair of skis and comments, "Pre-parabolic skis. I think these are illegal now." Frink: "Man, they moved in really fast." Spoken like a man who moved two months ago, and whose office still is only half unpacked. Luke notices what Joan's doing, and complains that she can't sell his first chemistry set: "You know, somebody's going to want that for the Smithsonian one day." Joan: "Help, or leave. Pick one." Helen comes out to see how it's going. Joan asks, "Mom, how come you guys have so much weird crap?" Helen says Will hates to throw anything away. She grabs something off a shelf and says, "For example...his Joe Namath Grill!" As Joan and Luke struggle over a squeaky bunny puppet, Joan asks, "Who's Joe Namath?" Yeah, thanks, I don't feel old enough already. ["These kids have never seen a Nobody Beats The Wiz ad? Or a Brady Bunch rerun? It's not like Broadway Joe retired into obscurity." -- Sars] Helen says, "The patron saint of macho cross-dressers everywhere." No, actually she says, "A football player who wore pantyhose." Luke sneers (while caressing his bunny protectively), "Is that how you get a grill named after you?" I think George Foreman found a way around it. Joan whines that she's never going to get through all this by Saturday. Helen asks why she's complaining, since it was her idea. Joan: "No, it isn't." Helen's puzzled. Joan tries to cover her comment, indicating that it's just more work than she thought it would be. Helen finds some ugly old lamp with an owl as its base, saying it was a wedding present from Aunt Theresa. Then she starts fawning over some bronzed baby shoes. Her back is turned as Joan unearths a couple of old paintings -- they're somewhat disturbed, and not terribly good, but they're identifiably images of Helen, and Joan says, "Wow...dark. Mom, did you paint these?" Luke says, "I thought you were all about landscapes." Joan: "These are cool." Luke: "Yeah, like twisted." Helen gets a worried look on her face and turns around. In a distraught voice she says, "Put those away." Joan says she likes them, and asks if she can put one in her room. Helen: "Why would you want to? They're ugly. Put them away." Joan and Luke seem surprised by her change in demeanor, and she just walks out without another word, slamming the door behind her. Joan stares after her, asking, "What nerve was that?"