Episode Report Card Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I musta killed Spawn!
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.08.2002
The time is 6:14:54 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Jovan Musk for Men hides from some rent-a-cops, Spawn sits at the FHoBLD passing the time until she has to witness the inevitable botched drug deal, and the Palmers sit down to dinner. Li'l Lisa puts a forkful of Caesar salad in her mouth and shifts her eyeballs from left to right a lot to give the impression that she's preoccupied or feeling some family tension. Lady Mac puts a snippet of a leaf of Romaine Heart into her mouth like she's a mother tigress chewing on a blade of grass in the Serengeti. Palmer puts a microscopic portion of salad in his mouth, because strong powerful men never really love salads. Theo shovels salad into his piehole like the pissy cow that he is. It doesn't take long for Lady Mac, Palmer, and Theo to start exchanging words over what Palmer is going to say at this emergency press conference. Lady Mac does this brilliant change-of-grip on her salad fork and simultaneous finger point to silence Theo's whining. Palmer makes this eloquent speech about how no one in the family acted appropriately, so they've got to leave the finger-pointing at that. Theo bleats out that he doesn't mind going to jail. Yeah, Theo will be fine in jail, just as long as he's a good bitch for the crank dealer who bought him for nine cigarettes and a couple of Vicodin. Lady Mac points out that there are larger issues than just Theo. A black man having a shot at the White House is one of them. Theo moans some more about Ferragamo. There's more yelling. Li'l Lisa has some sort of panic attack. At first it looks as though she was poisoned, but it turns out to be just a run-of-the-mill freak-out. Palmer carries her over to a couch, and Sherry tells the Secret Service people outside their door to call a doctor. Theo gets her some water. "I'm so sorry, Daddy," says Li'l Lisa over and over again. Oh yeah, armchair psychologists will say that the rape victim internalizing her rape and blaming herself for it ever taking place is behind this scene, but I have a feeling Li'l Lisa might be "sorry" about something else.
Wow, Nina got back to CTU really fast. She sits at her desk and talks to Kiefer on her cell phone. Apparently the variables that Kiefer gave Soul Patch earlier show up as a wildlife preserve. Xander, who is driving the Berkeleymobile while Kiefer is talking, makes a crack about going to the Sierra Club. I just gotta ask at this point -- did anyone consider simply running the address that Palmer gave Kiefer through a reverse directory where they would have found out the exact same information? I mean, why did they have to get all techno and track down this wildlife preserve via satellite? Nina asks Kiefer who's with him. Kiefer tells her that Xander is driving him. Nina promises to download some other fancy techno kinds of maps and send them along. They get off the phone, and Xander starts asking Kiefer kasual kwestions about his latest finds on the Drazen family for the sake of exposition. "It never gets dull with you," says Xander, running his fingers all over his face like he's making sure how close his shave was this morning. Kiefer apologizes for shooting him "last night" with the tranquilizer gun. Xander tells him not to give it a "second thought." "I just feel so much better now that I know my family is safe," says Kiefer, all earnest and velvety. Xander gets really quiet. Uh oh.