Episode Report Card Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I musta killed Spawn!
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.08.2002
There's a couple of Barcelona chairs in the "Dick/Dirk" Uncle Ben's Breakfast Bowl ad and I still want one. I love Angelina Jolie, but is a peroxide bouffant really a good idea if you're playing a local newscaster? I love the Bud Light ad with the falcon who's trained to stalk and peck at outdoor diners for their Bud Lights. You know, if you stick your fingers up your ass in America it can be a gesture of vulgarity, but in some other crazy country it's what you do to ask the father of your intended's hand in marriage, and in yet another crazy country it's how you signal the waiter for the check. Thanks, HSBC! I love the oil heat ad with the plastic-covered family. Oh sure, there are lots of creepy heterosexual guys surfing lavalife.com, but you can hit some button on your keypad which will make him disappear…and be replaced by some other creepy guy.
The time is 6:27:50 PM. Klockwise from the top left, everyone at the frat house gets ready for The Bad Drug Deal, Kiefer and Xander drive in silence, and Palmer makes sure that Li'l Lisa's Li'l Panic Attack is over. A doctor-y-looking man leaves the Palmer Suite; I guess that means that L'il Lisa is okay. Palmer asks her how she's doing, and Li'l Lisa wishes him luck with his press conference. Another speech about truth, family, God, trust, et cetera from Palmer. Lisa and Theo are beaming, but Lady Mac shoots him a look of death. "I need you now more than ever," says Palmer to Lady Mac. Lady Mac compliments him on his tie in this way that's dripping with subtext just as a blonde assistant with ironed hair appears at the door to tell Palmer that he's needed at the press conference. He walks with his Secret Service detail out the door and down the hall to the elevator.
Back at Casa Kiefer, Bride still finds her home unfamiliar. She goes through her appointment book and asks Phil what he knows about the people she had appointments with. One of these appointments, she realizes, was with Phil. "Was it fun?" she asks. Was it ever. They had "hot dogs" and "played air hockey." The mention of air hockey seems to produce a stirring in Bride. They go through the book some more. Dr. Phil explains that she's a freelance interior designer with a business partner named "Kitty." The bell rings. It's Chris, a friend of Phil's with a gun whom Phil invited over for "protection." Bride freaks out when she sees Chris's gun and insists that he get it out of her sight. Dr. Phil tells her that Chris is a friend of his and that Bride shouldn't be afraid of him. Bride continues to freak, so Phil tells her that Chris will stay outside so he can get shot by Jovan Musk for Men. Oops. I'm getting ahead of myself here. "Your husband could have been the one who roughed you up," says Dr. Phil. Nice try, chump.