Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The gay sex episode
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 11.19.2001
MotorcycleChick, Gaines, and Mandy drive the TerrorJeep to the place where MotorcycleChick hid the ID. She digs up the ID out of the sand and gives it to Gaines. Gaines thanks them. MotorcycleChick and Mandy hold hands and walk back to the Jeep. FauxMartin appears out of nowhere and shoots MotorcycleChick in the head. A tear forms in Mandy's eyes, and Gaines asks her again if she's interested in another job. She nods reluctantly. "You had no choice," says Gaines as they get into the car. The time is 2:56:05.
Back in Kiefer's office, Jalapeno has cracked the keycard. I guess it didn't take that long at all. She, Kiefer, and Nina learn that the Palmer info was stored on the card on dates that Nina was out of the office…with Kiefer, on a lover's trip to Santa Barbara. "You were way off on this one, Jack!" says Nina, stomping out of the office. Meanwhile, Soul Patch, who is watching the whole scene from below, dials a phone number. "It's [Soul Patch] from CTU," he says. "Kiefer needs to be relieved of his command."
The girls get, like, twenty feet from the evil frat boys. They crouch by a car in order to call Bride of Kiefer. Because it's not like you can run with a cell phone or anything. Spawn tells Bride that there was no party, and that she's being chased by the evil frat boys who made her call earlier and lie. She tells her mom that she's in North Hollywood behind Platt's Auto Body, but she has to go because the evil frat boys are catching up with them and you can't run with a cell phone in the state of California. They run. Bride calls 911 to send a police car to Platt's Auto Body. PMMS crosses the street and gets hit by a car, which isn't funny at all. No, wait. It is. Do I even have to tell you all that Spawn stops to help her stupid friend and, by doing so, gets recaptured by the evil frat boys? Didn't think so. So they force her into the van and drive away, leaving PMMS lying in her own blood. A sad feeling comes over me and the many other viewers who have enjoyed watching PMMS get smacked around this season. What are we going to do if we don't have Ms. Bill to kick around anymore? It's like junior high, when there was that kid that you and your friends loved to pick on. You'd all give it to him so badly that he'd run crying to the guidance counselor's office every day. But one day, when he transferred schools to get away from the brutality, the fun stopped, and it left an empty feeling inside…until you found another focus for your junior high angst. The camera pans up PMMS's bloody leg and stops at her face. She gasps for air. She's alive! Let the beatings resume! The time is 2:59:58…2:59:59…3:00:00.