Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Portrait Of Dorian Blue
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 04.20.2000
Like parents discussing their child's behavior problems at school, Aeryn and Crichton mull the mystery of Chiana's portrait. Aeryn thinks that because Chiana insulted Kyvan's work, Kyvan rigged the portrait in revenge. Crichton scoffs at this, but isn't necessarily willing to believe the portrait is predicting the future either. He just thinks they should have steered clear of Kyvan's ship and avoided the whole thing in the first place. Aeryn snorts that Chiana and Rygel are obsessed with checking out every single junk dealer in the UT. Crichton decides, "I say we lock all of Moya's doors, we don't let anybody in, we don't let anybody out. That way we get no alien critters, no shape-shifting bugs, no mind-altering viruses, no freaky-deaky artifacts." Aeryn shrugs her magnificent shoulders and says if she had it her way, she'd throw both Rygel and Chiana off the ship. "Well, Rygel, I can sort of understand, but Chiana?" Crichton questions cautiously. Aeryn has determined that Chiana gets them into almost as much trouble as Rygel does. Crichton argues back that Chiana means well, and even Rygel is good for something sometimes. Aeryn allows this, but says it's only once in a great while. "Oh, yeah?" Crichton says, his voice growing cold, "Well, what about Zhaan? Want to throw her off the ship?" "Possibly," Aeryn says, unflappable. "D'Argo?" Crichton wonders. Aeryn shrugs. "Me?" he asks quietly. Aeryn silently turns her blue eyes on him and widens them slightly. Not sure if that was an "Are you kidding? With everyone else gone, our bare butts will be bouncing off every bulkhead and bulwark and ballast!" look or an "Are you kidding? Kiss the airlock, my friend!" look. But it was smoldering. Of course, even if she were held underwater for three hours in a frozen lake, Aeryn would still smolder. In fact, she did. Reading the insult in her look, Crichton gets up and bitches that she could also get rid of Pilot and have the whole ship to herself. "Is that an offer?" Aeryn calls languidly after him. "Well, let's start with the shrimp and see how it goes," Crichton tosses back as he storms out. Aeryn smiles slightly after him.
In her laboratory, Zhaan works on the portrait shard while whispers rustle like gathering feathers from Bodega Bay. Are they in her mind? Are they her mind? Crichton strides in and startles her, causing her to break something. She's edgy and breathing hard. She can't find anything abnormal about the portrait shard, and it's clearly scaring the blue shit out of her. Crichton shrugs off her emotional state and says the painting probably never changed -- it was all in Chiana's mind. Zhaan grabs at his arm and breathes that it's definitely not in Chiana's mind. Chiana's in danger. Crichton wonders what could possibly be endangering Chiana. Zhaan has her suspicions but she can't tell Crichton, not yet. First, she wants a pledge that when the time comes, he and the others will do exactly what she says. "Do you have enough faith in me to obey?" Crichton holds her gaze steadily and says whatever she's planning, he's in. He has her back. Always and forever. Zhaan wants Crichton to bring her Chiana's portrait. She wants to destroy it. Crichton is startled for a nanosecond, but true to his pledge, he walks off to retrieve the portrait. Meanwhile, I love the background shot of the DRDs hanging on the side of Aeryn's prowler as they fix it.