Episode Report Card Erin: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Missing? I'll tell you what's missing.
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.18.2003
Up with Simon and Syd, they've stopped macking and are now comfortably seated at a rather sexy reclining area over in the corner. By the way, I think our enjoyment of the Simon Walker character (not that we're not enjoying him already, because WOOF!) will be greatly enhanced if you say his name the way I say it, much as Mike Meyers said it on SNL when he played "Simon in the Bathtub." SOY-MOAN. "I'm Soymoan and I like drawering." Hee. Cracks me up every time.
Soymoan wants to know where in the bloody hell Julia's been all these years. Sydulia is playing coy all, ain't that the question o' the day? Soymoan's all, you kin do bettah thin tha'. Okay. Not gonna recap all the Cockney intonations. Too damn hard. Just imagine a deeper, sexier Spike and you know what I'm going for here. Soymoan wants to know what's up with the new, hotter look that Sydulia's sporting. "I barely recognized you," he butters. Sydulia's all, hope you weren't disappointed there, big guy. And I do mean "big guy."
As a curious Weiss and a curiously jealous Vaughn listen in, Soymoan tells Sydulia that he missed her and missed working with her. Sydulia slinks, "Why do you think I came back?" Soymoan just laughs and says, "You're a right nutter, you are." Sydulia just plays along and brings up Bogden. She leans back against some conveniently placed cushions and silks, "I wanna take his place." Soymoan's all, well, as it happens, we do have a job coming up, but unfortunately Bogden was security, right? Sydulia's all, yeah-huh. I know.
Soymoan looks at her with a raised eyebrow. "Whuh? No future in murder?" To her credit, Syd doesn't break character here when she discovers that her Lost Years career was, indeed, murderer-for-hire. "I'm a girl with many talents," she husks. "And I'm your man." Hee. Soymoan's definitely interested in ALL of Sydulia's talents. His hair, on the other hand, is not. It just lays there like a lank piece of black Boston lettuce. Justin Theroux's hot enough to pull off even the WORST hair on the WORST, day but this particular greazy 'do is testing even his attractiveness limits.
Sensei's Solemn Sanctuary of Still Sinister Sons of Bitches. Killjoy's trying to find out all she can about Soymoan. She tosses some files over to Sensei. Um, have you noticed how everyone's always a billion feet away from Sloane? Like, she can't sit next to him while she asks him questions? What, is he gonna bite her? Oh. Wait. This is Uncle Arvin of the Inappropriate Touching. He just might bite her. Pardon me.