Episode Report Card Erin: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Missing? I'll tell you what's missing.
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.18.2003
Sydulia starts putting her plumped-up lips to good use, kissing and nuzzling Soymoan's neck and chest. I. Um. Yeah. Even through her strenuous attentions to his hairless chest, Syd manages to keep up the questions, asking him what he missed while she was gone. Soymoan just lies back in the bed (uhhhh) and Syd straddles him (ummmm) and removes her top, revealing a black bra. Are they talking now? Because I'm not really listening at the moment.
But Vaughn sure as hell is, and he is NOT pleased. Seriously. The look on his face could cut glass. Did you know that his eyes bug out and his forehead loses all wrinkles when he's angry? It's quite alarming. Back in the boudoir, Sydulia keeps trying to press Soymoan for info about her past. The only things we really learn in this scene are that A) Justin Theroux is hot, B) Soymoan and Sydulia met in Algeria and couldn't keep their hands off each other, and C) Justin Theroux is hot.
Just as quickly as you can say, "Justin Theroux is REALLY hot," Soymoan throws Sydulia off of him and yanks her head back, putting a knife to her throat. "You never went to Milan!" he shouts. Vaughn's thisclose to leaping to her rescue, but Weiss stops him, telling him to give her a chance to get out of this on her own. Soymoan wants to know who she's working for, and she says herself. He grabs the photos of her and Vaughn and demands to know who Vaughn is. Sydulia says Vaughn's her supplier, and even gives up his full name. Vaughn's all, holy shit! That's a picture of me! Then Sydulia's all, dude! Soymoan! What? You don't believe me? Soymoan's all, no, sweetheart! I don't. Then the powers that be drag The Violins of Wasting Time out 'til they're practically breaking, and we go to commercial.
Wow. That segment was only six minutes long. That is…so very, very sad. Note to JJ: How about trying to fill out the full 47 minutes instead of padding the episodes with commercials for Glade and Clorox? It would be much appreciated. Thanks much, Regina.
Well, we're back from commercials. How long's this segment gonna last? Three minutes? I'll set the timer. Vaughn calls Marshall back at Oops Center and demands that he upload some criminal stats for Vaughn to the Interpol database. Yeah, I could recap all the scrambling and back-and-forth, but you already know that Marshall makes it just in time and Vaughn shows up as a criminal in the database, so let's just save ourselves some time and effort and move on to the part where Justin Theroux is shirtless and Syd's life is no longer in danger.