Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 29 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT The Ordeal Of Cold Water
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 9 | Aired on 08.06.2013
Emily: "But see, that would have been a good thing? Because right now I want to die."Paige: "Don't die! Swim! You can get a scholarship!"
Emily: "You are getting crazier-looking every time you go there."
Paige: "Fine. If you don't go to Stanford with me, we are going to break up. And then I will die."
Emily: "See, that's something I can work with. The actual truth. On the downside, this particular actual truth is that we are going to be breaking up sometime soon. I would say over the summer, but by then I'll be in Nicaragua, so."
It's sad, don't get me wrong. But the whole story here is set up to do exactly this: Impediment after impediment, but always in a way where there's hope. Because hope is how they get you. You have to be in a state of simultaneously knowing they will be together forever, and that they will not be together, and you put those two things together at once, you go crazy. That's just... what watching TV is like.
PARTY
Jenna: "I feel like something horrible is about to happen..."
Aria: "Nice to 'see' you, Jenna!"
Spencer: "Yeah, 'look' who's back in town!"
Aria: "Are you blind again yet? Ya blind bitch that's slowly going blind?"
Shana: "Jeez, you guys. Just fuck off please."
Spencer: "Sure! Just leave her alone with us for a few minutes and then you can have whatever pieces we don't devour."
Shana: "Not happening."
Aria: "Group photo. Taken by me! Head outside, please."
MARIN
Hanna: "Dear Dad, here is my 18th depressing voicemail where I think you actually care about me at all. Call me when you get it, okay? Okay! Bye!"
Ring-ring. A very sassy Mona is checking in and does not have time for your shit, so don't you get chatty.
Hanna: "...Hey, Mona! Shit, I've been calling you all day. Are you okay?"
Mona: "Yeah, I will be."
Hanna: "That's not chilling at all. Listen, I can't believe they let you go!"
Mona: "I don't have time to explain basic criminal procedure to you right now, Hanna. They can't hold you without proof. People make false confessions all the time."
Hanna: "Speaking of, how come you did this?"
Mona: "I have to go, I just wanted to make sure your mom got out okay."
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