Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Bizarre Love Triangle
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 7 | Aired on 01.30.2005
1:08:33. AIIIEEEE!sha heads to one of CTU's equivalents of a back room and pulls out a flat drawer that turns out to be a folding monitor and keyboard. Kind of like a wall-mounted laptop, but bigger. It's sort of neato-looking. Special Agent Breck happens by, asking what AIIIEEEE!sha's up to. AIIIEEEE!sha makes up a lie about doing a Hub Five reboot for Lispy Skip. Did AIIIEEEE!sha get a bunch of training during the commercial breaks? How does she know all this crap? Special Agent Breck offers to take care of it, because she'll even suck up to temps. But AIIIEEEE!sha can't very well say, "Sure. And while you're at it, could you call my MoleBoss? Because that's what I'm actually doing." Special Agent Breck wanders off, still rocking that big, wavy ponytail. I'm surprised that hairdo lasted as long as it did. It's not exactly a twenty-four-hour look, y'understand. Once AIIIEEEE!sha's alone, she can get on with that Hub Five reboot. No, actually, she's using her dinky little earpiece-phone to report in on Kiefer and DoDder's errand. Turns out the guy at the other end of the line is none other than TerrorGringo his own self, who wants her to "set things up" on her "end." AIIIEEEE!sha Dante Hickses that she's not even supposed to be at CTU anymore, but TerrorGringo points out that once Kiefer and DoDder are offed, CTU will know that someone inside tipped the bad guys off. So she needs to divert suspicion. Now he tells her, after she's been spending the last four hours doing nothing but drawing attention to herself. AIIIEEEE!sha unhappily ends the call and folds the keyboard/monitor combo back into the wall. That action merits close-ups from two different angles. Somebody's sure proud of that little piece of set design.
TerrorDad is watching TV in the TerrorLivingRoom, where Fox News is reporting the breaking news that DaD is still rescued. Hey, real-world terrorists? Don't judge all of us by what you see on Fox News, okay? DaD's talking on the phone, fairly cheerfully, about how the "critical instructions" were "uploaded" before the "assault," so everything is still on schedule. TerrorMom is in the foreground, wearing quite a bit less makeup and looking something like her age. After he hangs up and gives her the good news that they're about to get the best tans of their entire lives, she wants to know about TerrorSon. "We have to be strong," TerrorDad tells her, and goes off to be strong in another room. Good timing, because TerrorMom's cell phone rings just then. "Helleew?" she purrs into it. I love the way she answers the phone, even at times like this. It's TerrorTeen, of course, with the news that Wahabist Wolf tried to kill him, until TerrorTeen killed him first, more. And that she can't let TerrorDad know, because he was the one who ordered it in the first place. TerrorMom doesn't believe it. She asks TerrorTeen where he is, then tells him to hide the Wolfmobile he's driving and she'll pick him up in a half hour. They hang up. TerrorMom grabs her coat and purse and starts to go, but TerrorDad is blocking her path, looking more dead-eyed than ever. This is not going to be a Kodak moment, I can tell. TerrorMom tries to blow TerrorDad off and head out, but he demands, "What did TerrorTeen do?" "No, what did you do?" TerrorMom non-answers. "Did you give the order?" Without blinking, TerrorDad makes the excuse that TerrorTeen was "not committed. It was only a matter of time before he turned on us." I guess this is an example of what happens when married people try to keep secrets from each other. For a half hour. TerrorMom starts slapping and shoving, and he doesn't take much of it before pinning her against the wall. "Where is Wahabist Wolf?" he demands. TerrorMom: "TerrorTeen killed him." TerrorDad: "That's impossible." TerrorMom: "Why? Because you think he's weak? He's not." No, just dumb. Fortunately, WW was dumber. TerrorDad continues to hold her against the wall, using his most threatening tone to say, "Listen to me, woman…nobody is going to stand in the way of what needs to be done. Not him, not you. You are going to pick him up in a half an hour." Well, if everyone agrees on the plan, what was all that drama for? It's 1:12:48.