In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Kiefer's big job this hour is showing DoDder the security-camera footage of TerrorGringo that will help identify him, but AIIIEEEE!sha the mole calls down TerrorMinions on them. They escape with an assist from some Soul Patch cover fire and now they're on the run. CTU's doctors nearly kill DrisKid. Better luck time. TerrorMom tries to save TerrorTeen from TerrorDad, and gets winged for her trouble. Also on the run. Lispy Skip figures out a way to shut down all of the rogue nuclear reactors except for six. One of them is uncomfortably close to my house. I'm considering going on the run. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously on 24: Kiefer rescued DaD and DoDder from the TerrorDome, which is sad for people who only get to see that excellent sequence during these previouslies. DoDder had recognized someone at the TerrorDome, but couldn't place him. DaD wanted DiCK to spill his guts. TerrorTeen found out that TerrorDad ordered his death, so he spilled Wahabist Wolf's brains. Driscoll brought the schizophrenic DrisKid to the CTU clinic. DoDder's soon-to-be-ex-husband Grayadder wanted to get back together, and looked thrown when she said she was "seeing someone" and introduced him to Kiefer. CTU found out that the bad guys were in possession of a nuclear reactor remote control from MacGuffin Factories, and AIIIEEEE!sha reported CTU's clued-in-ness to someone over the phone. The following takes place between 1:00 PM and 2:00 PM.
Kiefer approaches DoDder, who's still at the CTU computer where he left her. He spent the previouslies on the phone with the private security company that has the tapes of the event where DoDder first met TerrorGringo, but since it's on a "closed system," Kiefer has to fetch the tapes for DoDder to view, because TerrorGringo is their "only lead." And Keifer is L.A.'s only licensed driver, I guess. They can't have the tapes couriered over? By commuter train or something? Meanwhile, DoDder is having the guest list emailed to her. She wonders why Kiefer seems to be in such a big fat hurry, and he tells her that her kidnapping was a diversion. Flattering. He explains about the MacGuffin and how it's being used for a remote attack on 104 nuclear power plants. And it looks like the terrorists aren't even threatening to melt down 104 cores unless certain demands are met; they're already working on it. Those guys don't fuck around. As he lays this all out for DoDder and the new viewers, DoDder walks with Kiefer to the checkout counter, where he picks up a "full tactical." That's a silver briefcase, in case you were wondering what tactical looks like when it's a noun. DoDder wants to go to the security company with Kiefer to save time. He doesn't want to put her at risk again, but he reluctantly sees her point.
Curtis is holding a briefing whose centerpiece is a map of the continental United States, with its 104 nuclear reactors represented by red blips. DaD is in on the briefing, and now that he's got some stubble to go with his preexisting sartorial and tonsorial disarray, he's looking like he just woke up from a three-day bender during the closing credits of Trading Spouses. With an assist from Lispy Skip, Curtis explains how 104 meltdowns will be very very bad. At a conservative estimate, a minimum of 75,000 people near each plant will be heavily dosed with radiation and die within two days. I don't think they're accounting for the areas with plants clustered close together. After all, you could be near two or three nukes and you'll still only croak once. But Curtis figures 7.8 million will be lethally microwaved, with the added bonus that the area within thirty miles of each plant will be uninhabitable for at least five years. Not sure why all of the terrorists want to hang around for that, but then they always do on this show, don't they? AIIIEEEE!sha asks about the plants' fail-safe systems, but apparently the MacGuffin has already deactivated them. How conveeenient. So the big question is how much time they have left. Curtis estimates three hours from now, during February sweeps. Driscoll gives everyone their marching orders and the meeting breaks up.
Speaking of things that need to break up, Kiefer shows up to announce to Driscoll that he and DoDder are leaving. DaD isn't happy to hear it, but DoDder and Kiefer explain. Again. DaD threatens Kiefer that if anything happens to DoDder, he'll hold Kiefer responsible. I'd love to see that employee review form: "Areas of success: Saved supervisor's life in a daring solo rescue operation. Areas for development: Stop getting supervisor's kids killed." Kiefer and DoDder head for the door, as Kiefer explains that the security company is "Not far. Burbank." Ah, another clue in my ongoing CTU triangulation project! More on that later. They're abruptly waylaid by a distinctive call of "Orrdrey!" Grayadder wants to talk to her while Kiefer "get[s] the Jeep set up." That apparently involves ordering a neckless, trapezoid-headed agent to meet them in the motor pool with his four-man team and a "weapons package." Not that any of those things will do anyone any good. It's 1:05:57. Kiefer looks at his watch, then across the floor at DoDder and Grayadder.
That gentleman is telling DoDder that he knows about her and Kiefer, and he's "not okay with it." Moot! DoDder says as much. She says she tried to work things out, but Grayadder kept putting it off so she gave up. They haven't been together for nine months, she reminds him. So she started seeing Kiefer after three whole months of separation? Life is short when you're DoDder, isn't it? Unless of course you have something awkward to tell someone, and then she has all the time in the world. Kiefer interrupts as politely as possible to tell DoDder it's time to go. Grayadder turns on him, snapping, "She is my wife." DoDder books, because she still sucks and refuses to take responsibility for her part in creating this situation to begin with. Kiefer's about to follow her, and Grayadder stops him. "She is my wife," Grayadder reiterates. "Don't you forget that." He tries to glare threateningly. Among all of Kiefer's possible responses, he chooses a barely-audible "Yuh," and goes to catch up with DoDder. She apologizes to him. You think she means for the awkward moment in particular, or for being an immature asshole and putting him in this position in general? Kiefer just says it's fine, with an expression that says it's really not.
Watching them leave, AIIIEEEE!sha heads over to Special Agent Breck with a lie about how she needs to give some files to Kiefer. Special Agent Breck, who has just finished wrestling that big ol' hair of hers into a ponytail, explains that AIIIEEEE!sha is out of luck, since "Kiefer just went with DoDder to Felsted Security to look at some archive footage." I think Special Agent Breck's ponytail's a little tight there -- it's keeping her from shutting her goddamn pipe. AIIIEEEE!sha goes back to her computer to locate Felsted Security. The map she pulls up doesn't have street names, but going by its proximity to the city center and a certain kink in the highway, it looks like the place is very near Alameda Avenue. I'm just saying.
DaD is wandering around CTU looking for a good place to set up with his bucket and harmonica when Grayadder pulls him aside, saying, "We need to talk." Yeah, get DaD to take your side against the guy who just saved his life. Good luck with that. DaD earns more credit than DoDder ever gave him by pointing out, "You and DoDder have been separated for almost a year…she's a big girl. She can do what she wants." Grayadder whines, "What she's doing…she's breaking my heart." DaD gives that more consideration than it deserves when he pats Grayadder on the shoulder and walks out without another word. I hope he's off to have somebody revoke Grayadder's visitor pass.
1:08:33. AIIIEEEE!sha heads to one of CTU's equivalents of a back room and pulls out a flat drawer that turns out to be a folding monitor and keyboard. Kind of like a wall-mounted laptop, but bigger. It's sort of neato-looking. Special Agent Breck happens by, asking what AIIIEEEE!sha's up to. AIIIEEEE!sha makes up a lie about doing a Hub Five reboot for Lispy Skip. Did AIIIEEEE!sha get a bunch of training during the commercial breaks? How does she know all this crap? Special Agent Breck offers to take care of it, because she'll even suck up to temps. But AIIIEEEE!sha can't very well say, "Sure. And while you're at it, could you call my MoleBoss? Because that's what I'm actually doing." Special Agent Breck wanders off, still rocking that big, wavy ponytail. I'm surprised that hairdo lasted as long as it did. It's not exactly a twenty-four-hour look, y'understand. Once AIIIEEEE!sha's alone, she can get on with that Hub Five reboot. No, actually, she's using her dinky little earpiece-phone to report in on Kiefer and DoDder's errand. Turns out the guy at the other end of the line is none other than TerrorGringo his own self, who wants her to "set things up" on her "end." AIIIEEEE!sha Dante Hickses that she's not even supposed to be at CTU anymore, but TerrorGringo points out that once Kiefer and DoDder are offed, CTU will know that someone inside tipped the bad guys off. So she needs to divert suspicion. Now he tells her, after she's been spending the last four hours doing nothing but drawing attention to herself. AIIIEEEE!sha unhappily ends the call and folds the keyboard/monitor combo back into the wall. That action merits close-ups from two different angles. Somebody's sure proud of that little piece of set design.
TerrorDad is watching TV in the TerrorLivingRoom, where Fox News is reporting the breaking news that DaD is still rescued. Hey, real-world terrorists? Don't judge all of us by what you see on Fox News, okay? DaD's talking on the phone, fairly cheerfully, about how the "critical instructions" were "uploaded" before the "assault," so everything is still on schedule. TerrorMom is in the foreground, wearing quite a bit less makeup and looking something like her age. After he hangs up and gives her the good news that they're about to get the best tans of their entire lives, she wants to know about TerrorSon. "We have to be strong," TerrorDad tells her, and goes off to be strong in another room. Good timing, because TerrorMom's cell phone rings just then. "Helleew?" she purrs into it. I love the way she answers the phone, even at times like this. It's TerrorTeen, of course, with the news that Wahabist Wolf tried to kill him, until TerrorTeen killed him first, more. And that she can't let TerrorDad know, because he was the one who ordered it in the first place. TerrorMom doesn't believe it. She asks TerrorTeen where he is, then tells him to hide the Wolfmobile he's driving and she'll pick him up in a half hour. They hang up. TerrorMom grabs her coat and purse and starts to go, but TerrorDad is blocking her path, looking more dead-eyed than ever. This is not going to be a Kodak moment, I can tell. TerrorMom tries to blow TerrorDad off and head out, but he demands, "What did TerrorTeen do?" "No, what did you do?" TerrorMom non-answers. "Did you give the order?" Without blinking, TerrorDad makes the excuse that TerrorTeen was "not committed. It was only a matter of time before he turned on us." I guess this is an example of what happens when married people try to keep secrets from each other. For a half hour. TerrorMom starts slapping and shoving, and he doesn't take much of it before pinning her against the wall. "Where is Wahabist Wolf?" he demands. TerrorMom: "TerrorTeen killed him." TerrorDad: "That's impossible." TerrorMom: "Why? Because you think he's weak? He's not." No, just dumb. Fortunately, WW was dumber. TerrorDad continues to hold her against the wall, using his most threatening tone to say, "Listen to me, woman…nobody is going to stand in the way of what needs to be done. Not him, not you. You are going to pick him up in a half an hour." Well, if everyone agrees on the plan, what was all that drama for? It's 1:12:48.
1:17:13. Kiefer is in the back seat of a CTU-mobile with DoDder, because there was a suicidal driver handy. TerrorTeen is also driving, the opposite of suicidal. And AIIIEEEE!sha is still driving me bazoo. DoDder scootches in close to Kiefer and tries to take his hand. He doesn't appear to be too into it. In fact, he breaks the awkward silence with, "What did you say to Grayadder?" Actually, the silence might have been less awkward. She says she told him she wants a divorce as soon as they get back to D.C. In fact, she said that to Grayadder back in the season premiere before all this happened, but I guess she's been reiterating it in different ways since Grayadder made his big pitch, so I'll allow it. "Are you sure that's what you want?" Kiefer whispers. "Yes," she says. Kiefer quietly says, "Okay." They hold hands and stare blankly out the window. Their joy is infectious. See, Kiefer, this is why you don't get involved with married people. Best-case scenario, they get a divorce, and now you're in a relationship with someone who cheats and abandons their spouse.
At CTU, Lispy Skip is all excited to see that the MacGuffin hasn't completely taken control of all the reactors. Special Agent Breck offers to help him exploit the opening, but all Lispy Skip wants her to do is stay off Hub Five. She's all, jigga-what? She heads right over to AIIIEEEE!sha and confronts her with her lie. AIIIEEEE!sha owns up to the fib right away, and makes up a story about having a personal phone call to make but still wanting to look like she was working. She apologizes, and Special Agent Breck disgustedly leaves without another word because she has to hurry up and go get busy not being on Hub Five. AIIIEEEE!sha thinks back to that "divert suspicion" directive.
1:19:20. The TerrorFolks are driving along in the TerrorMobile, which unfortunately precisely resembles every single other late-model sedan this season. We could use a gay little screaming yellow pickup to liven things up about now, I'm thinking. TerrorDad's cell phone rings. He's got some wacky little device attached to it that looks like R2D2's restraining bolt. "It's Marwan," TerrorDad tells TerrorMom before answering. Turns out Marwan is played by Arnold Vosloo from The Mummy, and he's also got a restraining bolt on his cell phone. Must be a scrambler or something. Too bad the Velveteen-Voiced Hostile didn't have one. He should have been more picky about who he carjacked. ImhoTerror's all well-groomed, in a black suit and black turtleneck, and for some reason he's hanging out in some dingy back room somewhere with some guy who looks like a Middle Eastern Keith Richards. So, on to the actual conversation. ImhoTerror wants to know if TerrorTeen is dead yet. TerrorDad tries to play it cool, but ImhoTerror is all tense about it. "The fact that I'm even talking to you about this is a problem." TerrorDad doesn't take that as a cue to hang up. "The two hours are crucial," ImhoTerror continues, in case you were planning to skip the episodes between now and the projected meltdowns. "I can't be distracted by this." TerrorDad makes assurances and hangs up. TerrorMom wonders what will happen when ImhoTerror finds out about TerrorTeen killing Wahabist Wolf. I kind of think she's worried about the wrong thing. "I will not be able to look at you after today without thinking about what we did to him," she says. TerrorDad looks at her like, "You're half right."
Lispy Skip announces to Curtis and Special Agent Breck that he may have cracked the MacGuffin code. He may be able to get in and prevent the power plants from melting down, but the Nuclear Regulatory Commission probably won't let him mess around with the code because of the risk of a chain reaction. So he's not only a computer expert, he knows about nuclear cores too? Renaissance man. Curtis wants Skip to pitch the idea to DaD so they can get past the NRC. It's 1:21:12 as Skip gets out of his chair, hitching up his pants and going all Woody Allen about his low blood sugar. The three of them interrupt Driscoll and DaD in the situation room, and Curtis relays Skip's news. DaD snaps, more forcefully than necessary, that he thought nobody is to mess with what Skip wants to mess with. Skip technobabbles until DaD raises a hand, saying, "I don't understand one thing you're telling me." He just wants to know the downside. Skip says if he screws up, he could accelerate the meltdowns. So what's the upside? Well, he could regain control of the reactors. Driscoll spells it out: "What we need to know is, can you do this without making a mistake?" Skip takes a good six seconds to say he can. "You're not filling me with confidence," DaD bitches. That's because you're already filled with Night Train. "Look," Skip says to the Secretary of Defense of the United States (booze halo notwithstanding), "I'm just a little nervous. If I say I can do it, I can do it." Potato Face would be proud.
In the TerrorMobile, TerrorMom's phone rings. "Helleeew?" Will never get tired of that. TerrorTeen is all stressed about TerrorDad, but TerrorMom tries to talk him out of his tree. "I didn't understand until today what it would feel like, doing these things. They're wrong, Mom. I see it now." And we hear it. Show, don't tell, please. "Maybe I should go to the police and tell them everything I know," TerrorTeen continues. TerrorMom says they can talk about it when she arrives, and hangs up. "You did well," TerrorDad tells her. She doesn't exactly bask in his approval. It's 1:23:55.
1:28:22. Skip wastes computing power on an animated display of the MacGuffin, TerrorMom continues staring at TerrorDad for like the fifth straight minute, TerrorTeen wanders around in the open, and Kiefer and DoDder are still passenging. The TerrorMobile pulls into a parking lot and TerrorDad gets out. As TerrorMom walks around to take the wheel, she spots a couple of swarthy guys getting out of yet another nearly-identical late-model sedan. "Who are they?" she asks. TerrorDad tells her not to worry about it and just "take the second exit at Angeles Crests." "He's going to ask me why I'm stopping," TerrorMom points out. "Let him ask," TerrorDad says. It's not like TerrorTeen is going to have room to swing a shovel in the car, after all. TerrorDad will meet them there, he says. She hops back in the TerrorMobile while TerrorDad joins the swarthy dudes. He's got a lot of faith that she's come around on this so quickly.
1:29:26. Driscoll's headed for the CTU clinic when Curtis catches up to give her the news that Skip has taken 87 power plants offline. Well, that's impressive. And kind of disappointing. How scary can a terror threat be if Lispy Skip can all but pull the plug on it in a half hour? "What about the other 17?" Driscoll immediately asks, demonstrating that sometimes lightning-fast math skills are all you need to become head of CTU. Curtis says the terrorists are using the MacGuffin to prevent a shutdown, because apparently it can do that too. This thing sounds like it belongs on Charmed rather than 24. Curtis assures Driscoll that they're working on it. As they reach the door to the clinic, Curtis promises to keep her posted and heads back to work.
Driscoll goes into the concrete-and-glass room where her schizophrenic daughter is being kept. I guess DrisKid's not one of the wall-bouncing variety. Or she is, and I'm very sad to have missed it. At the moment, she's having a mild freak-out over the unfamiliar doctors working on her. Mentally ill does not equal dumb. In this case, as we'll soon see. However, it does equal clingy. Driscoll asks her to cooperate with the doctors, and DrisKid agrees. Driscoll leaves as a nurse gives DrisKid some meds.
Curtis leads DaD back to holding at 1:31:05, explaining that DiCK watched two-and-a-half hours of Laser Floyd. Shit, man. That's reaching back into the Syd Barrett days. Sadly, it hasn't gotten them anywhere. "You tortured my son for almost three hours and [it] ended up yielding nothing?" DaD snaps. "You gave the order, sir," Curtis reminds him. The last hour of it, yes. But DaD doesn't argue the point.
In the holding room, DiCK is just getting his headphones removed as DaD asks the tech for a moment alone with him. DaD tries to explain to his son, but DiCK's all about DiCK: "I hate you. I never want to see you again." DiCK's now free to stagger out, and he does. DaD looks disappointed that all this effort and drama led to a dead end. Him and me both.
Meanwhile, his good child, the one who would spill everything she knew after only an hour or so of torture, is still in the back of the CTU-mobile with Kiefer. Her cell phone rings. Looks like Grayadder is changing tactics, switching to sucking up rather than trying to draw a nice, wide piss-circle around her. He's still at CTU, by the way. Kiefer looks uncomfortable at having to sit there and listen to DoDder's end of the conversation. As do all of us. Grayadder says, "Before you make any big decisions -- decisions that you're entitled to make -- let some time go by. Is that fair of me to ask?" Fair or not, seems like she's made her decision. But like a big, wussy wimp, she says, "Yeah, that's fair." Kiefer looks at her sharply. Okay, DoDder? Grayadder? Listen up, both of you. Remember at the end of Honeymoon in Vegas (spoiler alert!), when rich, powerful James Caan realizes he's got no chance with Sarah Jessica Parker because dopey Nicolas Cage jumped out of an airplane? What Kiefer did was so much better than jumping out of an airplane. And it was less than two hours ago! Seriously. Get some perspective. They exchange "See you later"s and hang up. Kiefer asks the doomed driver how far they are from their destination. They have a few miles to go. DoDder looks out the window on her side with a hint of a smile, thinking, Two boys like me! Two words for you, Kiefer. Kick. Curb.
1:33:56. TerrorTeen is standing by the side of the road as TerrorMom approaches. That was less than a half hour. The SwarthyGuysMobile is tracking her along a parallel street. TerrorTeen doesn't notice her glancing nervously at the other car as she pulls up, or the fact that it stops level with her a block over. He leans over into the passenger-side window and whines about TerrorDad wanting to kill him. TerrorMom tells him not to worry, but just get in. He does. TerrorTeen is having a moral crisis. "We killed two people today. I can't do this. I'm freaking out." TerrorMom shushes him as she notices a train passing by. "Get on the train," she snaps. This is her brilliant plan? Have him make a break on foot a hundred yards to try to jump on a moving train, when he's being watched from an idling car? And then what? Where's TerrorTeen going to go? His dad wants him dead, the Terror Organization wants him dead, and the police aren't likely to set him up in a posh hotel suite. His only hope is to try and join the Mafia. TerrorTeen doesn't think it makes any more sense than I do, even when TerrorMom pushes him out of the TerrorMobile. He just stands there like a big dumb dork until TerrorMom's car window explodes and she's got a slug in her arm. Dude, TerrorDad's shooting at them! That's going to come back to haunt him when they start dividing up the marital property, I'm thinking. TerrorTeen jumps back in to his screaming mother and drives the car from the shotgun seat. The SwarthyGuysMobile is in motion too, TerrorDad making an "I can't fucking believe this" face at his fractious family. Then he and his guys are cut off by a bus, and TerrorMom and Teen get away. It's 1:35:38.
1:40:03. Because Skip is a television hacker, he moves from computer to computer as he works; some late-model sedan goes somewhere; and Kiefer is still stuck in a car with his loser girlfriend. I think they might be heading for a rough patch, if you know what I mean. The SwarthyGuysMobile pulls up to some nondescript restaurant. TerrorDad gets out and follows a lengthy route through a kitchen and its restaurant to the inner sanctum where we saw ImhoTerror earlier. If there are guards besides Middle Eastern Keith Richards protecting ImhoTerror, their presence is not apparent. TerrorDad presents himself before ImhoTerror, who doesn't look happy to see him. TerrorDad is also not happy to report that "my wife and TerrorTeen have betrayed us." Goddammit, what's this world coming to if you can't trust your family to stick by you when you try to kill them? ImhoTerror rubs his large forehead and motions TerrorDad to sit. He wants to know where the rest of the TerrorFamily is now. So does TerrorDad, but he points out that TerrorMom is going to need medical attention. "So you come to me, asking for help with this mess?" ImhoTerror growls. "I'm ashamed of myself," TerrorDad says. Aw, TerrorDad, don't be so hard on yourself. In today's world, it's tough to raise a kid with the proper disregard for human life and total lack of moral compass. "Allow me to make this right," he begs. ImhoTerror wants to know what that entails. TerrorDad needs the hospitals monitored, plus drivers and access to police frequencies, since they may pick up the shot Middle Eastern lady who's driving around town. ImhoTerror, clearly ImhoTated, taps a few keys and closes his laptop. "I told you, I can't be distracted by this right now," he says. He stands up and tells Middle Eastern Keith Richards, "Give him what he needs." TerrorDad thanks him. ImhoTerror leans down into his face and says, "No matter what happens today, you will answer for this." TerrorDad says he understands, then watches ImhoTerror head off to the biffy. By the way, if ImhoTerror knows that Lispy Skip has already effectively thwarted 84% of his big TerrorPlan, he makes no mention of it here.
Kiefer and his two-car motorcade are just arriving at Felsted Security, which looks like a rather tony operation with its custom-painted vehicles and such. This is an important step in my ongoing project to figure out where in Los Angeles CTU is. We know from the premiere that it's about ten minutes from Studio City. And since this drive took about thirty-five minutes, we now know that Burbank is another twenty-five minutes away. Which is weird, because Yahoo Maps tells me that Burbank and Studio City are only eleven minutes apart. Hmm. This project might be harder than I thought. Anyway, Kiefer's chattering on his cell phone as he and DoDder hop out and head into the building at 1:42:56. The reason for the call is that someone at CTU is working on creating a database from the guest list of the event where DoDder saw TerrorGringo. Kiefer explains this to DoDder as they go through the building's security checkpoint. Kiefer flashes his badge (which he got when? It took me three weeks to get a pass card at my current job) and says "I'm carrying" before walking through the metal detector, which naturally goes off. I wouldn't recommend that at an airport. Kiefer's cell phone rings again, and this time it's AIIIEEEE!sha, telling him that once DoDder recognizes TerrorGringo, Curtis wants the info sent to AIIIEEEE!sha. Kiefer rightly wonders why Curtis couldn't be arsed to tell him that himself, and AIIIEEEE!sha explains that everyone's too busy working on shutting down the power plants. Kiefer asks if they're going to be able to do it. AIIIEEEE!sha says she doesn't know. After he hangs up, DoDder asks what that was all about. "We don't have a lot of time," he tells her. I suspect that's true in more ways than one.
At the CTU clinic, Driscoll is stopping by to check on DrisKid again. She's asleep, which Driscoll says is good news. Like all of us, she likes the kid a lot better that way. While flipping through DrisKid's chart, she notices something. "Did you give her Haldol?" she demands. "Mmm-hmm. Why?" the doctor asks nonchalantly, totally missing the alarm in Driscoll's voice. "She's allergic. It's in her file!" Driscoll rushes into the room while the doctor realizes he's got the wrong file. DrisKid is unconscious. Even better than asleep! Driscoll disagrees. The doctor swoops in and calls in nurses. "How could you have gotten the wrong file?" Driscoll demands. Excellent question. Excellent question. How many schizophrenics does the CTU clinic care for on any given day? While a terrified Driscoll backs up and watches the medical staff swarm over the daughter she hated until ten seconds ago, Special Agent Breck breezes in, but stops short in horror when she sees what's going on. Driscoll tries to hold it together while she asks what Special Agent Breck needs. It seems DaD's going to be on a call with the President soon for a progress report. Driscoll gives Special Agent Breck instructions, weepily answers a follow-up question, and sends her traumatized underling on her way.
At 1:45:10, Kiefer and DoDder are in what passes for an editing suite at the security company. It's a cramped room with video screens everywhere. You know, in case you've never seen an editing suite. A tech there is explaining about the two cameras they had running at the event, while DoDder sits in a chair and Kiefer paces around and makes me nervous. The tech runs the tapes. Kiefer quickly eliminates one of them as useless due to a too-wide angle, and they concentrate on the one at the entrance. At DoDder's direction, the tech cues up the tape to the time of DoDder's arrival at 9:00 or 9:15. Poor romantic manners and late. This chick gets more charming all the time. She quickly spots someone on the tape who might be TerrorGringo. The tech zooms in on a blurry face. Kiefer's unimpressed, and asks if it can be made clearer. The tech gets to work on that. Because Kiefer can't sit still, he notices that one of the monitors in the room is showing a real-time view of the security desk where they came in. Nobody's there now. The tech figures the guard is out "having another smoke." Okay, I give up; this place isn't even in California. Kiefer isn't reassured by the views on the other monitors, which show the back gates open and nobody there either. He tries to raise his drivers on the walkie-talkie, but there's no answer. Good thing he brought those guys along, huh? He tells the tech to put up security views of the entrance into the part of the building where they are now. And sure enough, one of those views shows two bodies lying on the ground. Kiefer catches the snap and pushes DoDder to the floor.
Unfortunately, the tech doesn't get the memo in time, and he takes a slug in the chest as two gunmen burst into the room. Kiefer shoots them before they can do any more damage. Kiefer crawls over to the bleeding tech. "I'm going to call for help, okay? But first I need to know where the surveillance tape is. Where's the source?" Kiefer, you're such a bastard sometimes. Tech uses some of his precious last breaths to say it's on the main server and Kiefer can access it using Flash memory. Kiefer jumps onto the system while telling DoDder to keep her eye on the security monitors. "Do you have sticks?" Kiefer asks the tech. Dude, he's got a sucking chest wound. Oh, and also memory sticks in his pocket. Kiefer downloads the video frames of TerrorGringo onto the memory sticks, then returns to the bleeding tech. "Stay with me," he says, unconvincingly. Then he does about half a dozen chest compressions before saying, "He's gone." Think Kiefer will still call for help? Just once I'd like to see him get slowed down by having to drag around some wounded guy that he's responsible for. And Season Three Soul Patch doesn't count. DoDder looks at the monitors and sees more bad guys on the way. She wants to call CTU for help, but Kiefer's already figured out that "CTU's been compromised. It's the only way they'd know we were here." He and DoDder leave the editing suite and head down the hall. He directs DoDder into an empty office and loots a handy corpse for its weapon before joining her. He cocks the handgun and offers it to her, using the exact same words he used with DaD last hour: "There's one in the pipe. Safety's off." DoDder's reluctant to take it, but Kiefer talks her into it, because he wants to get shot in the ass or something. And this puts to rest any theories that Kiefer represents any kind of father figure to DoDder; unlike Kiefer, DaD tosses extra handguns aside rather than sharing and he surrenders when he's outnumbered. Kiefer pulls out his phone to call "the only person I can trust right now." Because people talk like that right before commercial breaks. Who could he be calling? Who would plausibly stick his neck out for Kiefer and risk getting it shot? It's 1:49:12.
Poor Paul Giamatti. He's the anti-Tom Hanks.
1:53:37. Lispy Skip concentrates, TerrorMom bleeds in the shotgun seat, TerrorMinions search the hallways at Felsted, and the President is still running the country from cruising altitude. DaD and a table of CTUers are addressing him via the big videoconference screen, talking about evacuation scenarios if they're unable to shut down the other seventeen reactors in the three hours. Looking at the map, I'd say the Carolinas are going to be pretty hot. Hotter than normal, I mean. I once evacuated the Carolina coast when a hurricane was coming. It took three hours to get to the first gas station. POTUS wants to know about their chances of shutting down those remaining seventeen plants, and Driscoll calmly says it's less than fifty percent, although they're trying something now and they'll know more in fifteen minutes. Hey, that's not until week! That doesn't do us any good. Also, you suppose DrisKid's dead? As the meeting breaks up, DaD wants someone to find out whether Kiefer and DoDder have come up with anything. It's 1:54:32. Everyone but DaD gets up and leaves. As Driscoll's on her way out, she notices that DaD's looking pretty tired and she offers him a room where he can rest. DaD appreciates the offer, but since Driscoll didn't mention anything about the room coming with a razor, a hairbrush, a change of clothes, and plenty of black coffee, he passes. He asks about DrisKid. Driscoll back-stories that "It's something we've lived with since she was six years old. There are good days and bad days. Today's a bad one." "I'm sorry," DaD says. Man, how can you tell if a six-year-old is schizophrenic or not? I always thought that pretty much all of them are.
Kiefer and DoDder are slowly working their way through the abandoned halls at Felsted Security. They're about to move forward when Kiefer spots a lurking TerrorMinion in a stairwell mirror. He waits for the right moment, then pops him. Now they've made it to what looks like a maintenance garage. They're the only ones there, until the door to the outside starts rising. Three TerrorMinions come inside as our heroes take cover behind a large rolling toolbox. But then an interior door opens, and Kiefer has to give away his position to shoot the guy who has a clear shot at them. Uncharacteristically, it takes four shots to get the guy to go down, and he flies backward like he's in a Sam Raimi film. Now the bad guys from outside are closing in on them with Uzis. Kiefer has a plan, though: he's going to get the gun off the guy he just shot while DoDder covers him. Plan's in motion! So's Kiefer! He uses a rolling rack of bulletproof windshields as cover while he runs to the dead guy. Except he's not dead! Hey! Kiefer shot him four times! What gives? The fifth bullet dispatches him, but it's all for naught, because the guy was out of rounds anyway. "Dammit," Kiefer hisses. This whole time, DoDder's been providing covering fire, and actually looking somewhat cool doing it. Kiefer yells at DoDder to get down. "I'm out!" she yells back. Oh, brilliant. So much for cool. Tell everyone, why don't you? Kiefer gets back to her, returning fire the whole way. "I'm empty," he hisses. Way to leave that full tactical in the car, Kiefer. The two remaining bad guys notice that nobody's shooting back at them any more, and start moving in. Kiefer picks up a dropped gun and holds it by the muzzle, prepared to use it as a club. But just as the two hostiles are about to get into position, shots ring out from outside and the bad guys go down.
Hey, who's that firing silhouette in the doorway? Why, it's Soul Patch! With a soul patch! Has it been twenty years already? He confirms that Kiefer and DoDder are okay, and the hero theme plays the three of them the hell out of there as they shrink to the top half of the screen and cut to black. At bottom, TerrorTeen and Mom are also fleeing. At upper right, DrisKid is awake again. Shit. And AIIIEEEE!sha is still looking sneaky at upper left.
It's 1:57:47 as DaD and Driscoll come out on to the CTU floor to watch Lispy Skip deliver the last few keystrokes on his tricky MacGuffin hack. He's enlisted Special Agent Breck to help him, but she gives him a bad code and he totally "Nick Burns, Computer Guy"s her away from her keyboard. He's just about ready to launch his program, but he wants another ten minutes to go over everything and make sure it's right. I feel him there. I can't remember the last time I posted an entry on my website with the italics right the first try. But the bosses won't give him the extra minutes, and they insist he has to do it now. Lispy Skip types a last few commands, clenches his pucker, and hits "enter." "I did the best I could, sir," he tells DaD. "I hope it works." "So do I," DaD says quietly. "For your sake," he doesn't add. Everyone turns to look at the big board with the map of the U.S. and the highlighted radiation logos blinking away. AIIIEEEE!sha steps closer to watch. We have plenty of time to wonder how information from the millions of gauges on each reactor have been distilled into simple, color-coded, binary symbols and then arranged on a real-time map of the country. "There's no response," DaD tells Lispy Skip. We can see that. Everyone continues to watch as the tension builds. Then one logo on the California coast blinks and goes green. I guess that's good. "There they go," says Special Agent Breck. One after another, the red logos are turning green all over the country. ["And someone on the 24 staff writes a fat check to the guy who wrote the WarGames screenplay. And the score." -- Sars] DaD grins broadly and shakes Lispy Skip's hand. Big bonus for Skip this Christmas. That was a pretty good season, don't you think? I suppose we'll have to wait until year to find out whether…
But oops! Looks like the reactor on the Oregon coast is developing a red aura. That can't be good. Lispy Skip dives back to his computer, muttering, "Oh, no, don't tell me that." Driscoll wants to know what's going on. Skip explains that six of the reactors are "immune to the kill sequence." And indeed, in addition to Oregon, there are red icons near San Diego, Savannah, the Quad Cities, Southern Pennsylvania, and -- hey! The Twin Cities! Fuck you, Skip! "The shutdown codes have been completely corrupted," he explains. "Contact Kiefer," DaD booms in his best promo-clip voice. "Either he finds the people responsible for planting the override, or we're looking at a nookyular holocaust." So six Chernobyls make a whole holocaust now? Drama queen much? It's 2:00:00.
on 24: Lots of running and driving, Soul Patch is bitter, and it looks like AIIIEEEE!sha succeeds in diverting suspicion -- onto Special Agent Breck.