Episode Report Card Erin: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Two's Company, Three's a Crowd
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.25.2003
Paris. Or a CGI image of La Défense that's blended into a bridge in downtown Los Angeles. Soymoan's standing on the bridge. Jack walks up, wearing rimless glasses, and he has what looks like silver hair dye cresting his crown. He and Soymoan go through some sort of agreed-to code, and they go through the motions of making a deal. Soymoan wants to know how Jack knew to contact him. Jack says they have a mutual acquaintance, Julia Thorne. God, his German accent is terrible. Really. It's the accent equivalent of The Beard. And what's up with the Julia last name here? When did we learn that, huh? In between ex-boyfriend stabbings and virus hijacking? The hell? Soymoan's all, oooh, I just lurve Julia. Jack blah blahs some fake deal to Soymoan. Soymoan takes the bait. The whole scene is pretty much unnecessary and only here to show how bad Jack's accent is, how adorable Justin Theroux is, and how long we're going between commercials. As Jack walks away, Chavez y Chavez takes his picture from afar.
Mexico City. Again. Some more. Killjoy and Syd sign in at a front desk somewhere. Killjoy tells the woman that they're here to see Uncle Arvin. She's all, oh, you're just in time! He just arrived! They all look out the front doors of the building, and there indeed is Sloane, beaming at them brightly and saluting them. After he salutes, some dude in a trenchcoat shoots Sloane's bodyguards. Killjoy ducks. Syd watches in horror. Sloane ducks. Sark exits a van that just pulled up outside. Oof, he's hot. Trenchcoat Guy grabs Sloane and shoves him into the van. Syd runs toward the exit. Inside the van, Sloane looks over and sees Bomani, looking hotter than ever in his dark brown suit. Trenchcoat shuts the door, and just as Syd exits the building, she shoots him dead and the van peels out, his body falling to the ground. Syd runs after the van. She takes a couple shots and misses. Probably because she blinks about nine thousand times when she's shooting. Worst. Spy. Ever. Speaking of worst spies, Killjoy screeches up in her big black car. "Get in!" Hee.
Syd climbs into the car, and Killjoy takes off. Syd's all, you done this before? Killjoy's all, uh, if by "done this" you mean "cross-trained at The Farm with some other students during our lunch hour." Syd's all, gulp. Killjoy's having the time of her life as she chases after the van. She's having so much fun, we just might have to call her "Joyride" for the duration of this scene. Inside the van, Sloane's trying to sweet-talk Bomani about the whole "turning him into the Feds" thing. Bomani just slams his fist into Sloane's face. Hee. Back in Joyride's car, Syd's cell phone rings. It's Soymoan, calling to talk about the new job. He's wearing the most god-awful tracksuit and plaid cap. Really. He's probably supposed to look sort of London street, but he just looks like a balding clerk from Foot Locker. Syd keeps talking on the phone as Joyride's all, look, do ya think you can, I dunno, TAKE A MESSAGE? Syd tells Soymoan she'll call him back and hangs up as Joyride gleefully continues her pursuit of the van. Sark orders the chase car to take Joyride and Syd out of the game.