Episode Report Card LuluBates: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT V is for Visa
By LuluBates | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 11.17.2009
Back on the mothership, Alien Dale is stomping around the FBI office in his mind. He is bound and determined to get back to Earth and off Erica as soon as possible. She won't even know what hit her. The doctor agrees, but he's not going to let Alien Dale off the ship. Alien Dale doesn't get it. The doctor explains that if everything he has said about Erica is true, she will make a fantastic ally. (!!) Alien Dale perks up at that and tries to punch the doctor in his traitorous face. But the doctor is just another construct in Alien Dale's mind. As Alien Dale fights back, the fake FBI office fades around him. He wakes up on the table in the medical bay of the mothership. The doctor stands over him shoving an injection into his arm. He pins Alien Dale down while the drug takes effect. When Alien Dale is down, the doctor bids him hello (also, goodbye) from the Fifth Column. The doctor walks off, leaving Alien Dale incapacitated. Happy trails, Alien Dale! Ah, the Fifth Column, not just an early 90s boy band anymore.
Chad Decker is still reporting live from the Visitors' Visitor Center. Mary Faulkner is about to make her speech to the gathered crowds of reporters and V protesters. She ascends the dais and reminds her audience that her husband died on the day of the Vs' arrival and everyday has been full of grief and pain and anger since then. But something happened on the way to the forum. She had a quiet conversation ...with her Northwestern Mutual rep? No, with Anna. Who showed her that a life full of hate and anger would result in premature aging, grey hairs, and deep-set wrinkles and that only hope and trust would heal that. Anna joins her on the dais to remind the world that today a man tried to kill one of their ranks today. While he was aiming for one of the lizard people, his real target was ...peace. That is brilliant PR spin. Anna explains that Lieutenant Faulkner sacrificed his life to defend peace, which they kind of gloss over and so will I because while we don't know the details of how Faulkner died, wasn't it most likely that he was in a fighter jet heading to ward off the alien invasion and they zapped him? Is that how they define defending peace? Anyway, Anna continues her speech claiming that they will not retaliate against humanity for the attempted assassination, because they are kind and civilized and at peace, always. Also, no one was actually killed, so it would be kind of hard to justify retaliating. Chad Decker sits in the audience, pondering, pondering. I don't totally understand his presence there, because it's not like you would ever see Dan Rather or Katie Couric or Tom Brokaw actually reporting from an event. They always send a minion and remain at their desk lording over the nightly news.
Anna's Executive Assistant and the entire secretarial pool scurry to Cyrus's restaurant where a V agent is waiting for him. The EA is ushered into the kitchen, where Cyrus is just a dusty outline on the tile floor. Apparently Vs die just like vampires, so...is Buffy going to be the new recruit? Or maybe Bella and the Vs can all die of mooniness? The EA turns to see a message scrawled on the door, "John May Lives." He shakes his head and says, "There can be no peace." Visitor, please, you weren't planning on peace anyway.
At Erica's spacious home, numnuts Tyler is giving Lisa a tour of his bedroom. After he lights some Yankee Candles and starts up Tiffany's classic ballad, "I Think We're Alone Now" to play softly in the background, they tumble towards his bed, kissing. Being a hormonal teenage boy with the skull density of shale, Tyler did not bother remembering that he lives with his mother who will obviously come home at the most inconvenient moment possible, so he seems surprised when Erica calls to him from downstairs. Knowing that he promised to stay away from the Visitors, he tears off his V uniform, apologizes to Lisa, and dashes topless into the hallway where he stands awkwardly shifting from foot to foot while Erica stares at him quizzically. Although in the past Erica hasn't shown great maternal (let alone FBI) instincts for when her son is flat-out lying to her, Tyler is so obviously full of shit and hiding something that she pushes past him and walks into his bedroom. There she finds Lisa in just a bra and panties. Erica is sort of horrified, as any mother would be, and retreats. She tells Lisa to get dressed, tells Tyler to drive her home, and reminds him that they will be talking about this later. Don't let him drive her home -- they'll just go make out in the car. Call her parents! That should be awkward. Tyler looks really excited at the prospect of being able to remind his mother that she is a failure and his father left her. When Erica is barely gone, Lisa explains that she thought it would be better for Erica to see her naked rather than in her V uniform. Tyler looks appreciative, so does Little Tyler. I, however, am disappointed that the technology of the future does not provide a more comfortable alternative to the push up bra.
On the New York mothership, Anna watches Chad Decker report the latest. Today's top news stories collided into a PR win for the Visitors. The anti-V movement received a big blow today when their leader, Mary Faulkner, forgave the Vs for her husband's death and Anna forgave the humans for trying to kill one of them. While no rounds of "Kumbaya" were sung, the Visitors did express interest in giving the world a Coke. Anna is pleased by the news. She turns to her companion -- the man charged with the attempted assassination -- and thanks him for his good work today. He walks off to join his V cohorts. Those Vs sure are crafty. And two-faced, both literally and figuratively.
Agent Erica meets up with Father Jack to brief him on what she saw in the Visitors' surveillance room. While they knew they had to be careful about who they talked to, now they know they have to be really really careful because of the Vs' awesome jackets that were totally in a James Bond movie, but I can't remember which one. Erica then chides Father Jack for going to find George Sutton on his own. He should have waited for her. He is so sensitive about being just a boring old priest in the face of her FBI awesomeness that she has to spend the next ten minutes comforting him and doing trust exercises and proving that he really is a valuable member of their two-man team. Just then there is a knock and the door opens. Erica draws her gun, but... what assassin knocks? It's Georgie. Father Jack introduces him and Erica begrudgingly puts her gun away. Georgie has a friend with him. It's Ryan who looks almost shy when he comes into the meeting. Strangely we don't see Val lurking in the shadows following him. You know she's there.
Back onboard the mothership, Lisa goes to speak with Anna. She reports that Tyler is definitely the one. The one she'll break her celibacy pledge for? She tells Anna that she should use Tyler. Anna smoothes Lisa's hair and tells her she is doing an excellent job. Lisa smiles and thanks her mother. Yikes! So is Anna her actual mother? Or is Anna like a mother to her? Or is Anna mother to all the Vs like a Queen Bee? Or like the Alien from, er, Alien laying eggs all over the ship? So many exciting possibilities all from one little word.