Episode Report Card LuluBates: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT V is for Hiatus
By LuluBates | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 11.24.2009
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.It's the first meeting of the rebel alliance, and already Erica is suspicious about Ryan and why and how he knows so much about the Vs. But despite her persistent questioning, he doesn't confess about his early childhood spent wearing nothing but lizard skin. Kinky, right? Erica and Father Jack are unclear about their revolutionary objectives, so they make a Venn diagram and embark on a brainstorming session, but Georgie has no patience. He just wants to skin a V alive to show the world what they look like on the inside. Ryan doesn't like that idea at all.
Alien Dale's death is being investigated as a murder. Of course the lead investigator, the doctor named Joshua, is the guy who killed him. Mysteriously the investigation turns up nothing, so Anna plays hardball. She calls all the medical staff into a V formation and, unless one steps forward to confess to the murder, she will choose one at random to set an example. Joshua's Fifth Column band mate, er… compatriot steps forward to martyr himself for the cause. Anna tells Joshua to skin him. And he does, very begrudgingly. So now we know why Ryan won't abide any talk about skinning Vs.
Erica is hard at work trying to find out anything she can about Ryan, which is nothing. She doesn't have time to talk to teenage twit Tyler, despite the fact that her idiot son is actually trying to talk to her about what is going on in his life. But the poor latchkey kid can't compete with his mom's work. So he talks to his therapist. Who is, of course, Val. While his real mom doesn't understand him, turns out nincompoop Tyler is an advanced pupil in V school. When Lisa and Anna eavesdrop on his therapy session via their handy built-in uniform-cam they know he is ready to come visit the mother and her ship. Boy, is Tyler surprised when it turns out his girlfriend's mom is the Anna and that she wants to spend some quality alone time with him. Mrs. Robinson much? She takes him where no human has ever been before. Nudge nudge, wink wink. By the time Erica finally figures out that Tyler has been lying to her and is up to his eyeballs in the V world, it's too late -- he can't be reached.
The Visitors are expanding their plan for universal health care and are heavily promoting their new vitamin shot as a panacea for most of the human races' health woes. Lucky for humanity, Ryan knows that back in the day the V scientists were working on one shot to rule them all. With Ryan's help, the rebel alliance tracks down a V scientist who worked on the original scheme to bring down the human race. They corner him in a parking garage and Georgie takes matters into his own gun-toting hands and gets shot for his trouble. Ryan aims his gun at Erica, but shoots the V scientist standing behind her instead. Then the scientist calls Ryan a traitor and swallows a suicide pill before they could get any information out of him. The scientist's harsh words for Ryan help Erica figure out that Ryan is a Visitor. Ryan answers her questions and explains about the Fifth Column. Erica believes it enough to continue working with him. The crack team, minus gut-shot Georgie, investigates a lead they got from the scientist that takes them to a warehouse. Based on the pallets of R6 serum they unearth there, Erica figures out that whatever toxic substance the Vs are distributing to the humans, it's not in the vitamin shots they are offering the world -- it's in the standard flu vaccine. The Vs are counting on us silly humans trusting our government and believing the media when they report on pandemics. Which is annoying on a lot of levels. Whatever. The rebel alliance destroys the entire shipment, saving the human race temporarily, making a really big bang and sending a message to the Visitors. When Ryan gets caught by a V soldier, Erica shoots the V who is killing him. She manages not to say, "Now, we're even," but you can tell she really, really wants to. Father Jack lands a few ferocious fists, too, but the V he downs comes back later and knifes him on the altar.
Meanwhile, Chad Decker is brought to one of the healing centers and is awed by what he sees there. He is so impressed that he decides to give them some free publicity and gets an on-camera check up. But at the end of the day, Chad gets some unexpected news -- apparently he is going to die. Obviously they can fix him, but it comes with at a cost.
Turns out Val is not as hale and hearty as she appears. She has a heart problem that a quick trip to the Visitors healing centers might be able to fix. On twerp Tyler's recommendation, she goes for a check-up. Sure enough, the Visitors can help her, but there is one little roadblock: Val's pregnant. She's overjoyed, but Ryan is troubled.
Finally, we get a chance to see what all this Bliss talk is about. The junk that keeps the Visitors coming back, involves some sort of naked communion with Anna that unfortunately isn't nearly as dirty as it sounds. Instead it's some sort of method of connecting to every V in some sort of transcendental bliss. What can be so wrong with that, right?
Oh, when Anna says it is "only the beginning." She totally means it. Just out of Earth's atmosphere, an enormous fleet of ships waits. I'm sure they are just waiting for their chance to help a human.
Want answers? Check back for the full recap, but you're going to have to wait until March for more V.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Secret V Ryan is running through a parking garage with the staccato beat of gunshots surrounding him. Agent Erica is crouched over the fallen body of Georgie the ersatz and potentially deposed leader of the rebel alliance. He's been shot. Erica looks up to see Ryan pointing a gun at her. He fires. Obviously this is just a wee bit out of context. So the editors do that nifty thing of traveling back in time fourteen hours to the meeting between Erica, Father Jack, Georgie, and Ryan at the church where we left off last episode. Why the flash forward? I guess we will have to wait fourteen TV hours to find out. Georgie is explaining that when he first found out about the Vs, they came after him. He got away, but his family didn't. Yeah, that could leave a chip on your shoulder. A chip about this big.. Erica offers her condolences to Georgie over the loss of his family and then non-sequiturs to Ryan: Why do you know so much about the Vs? Ryan and Georgie look uncomfortable, but they don't 'fess up to Ryan's early childhood spent crawling out of the egg. Erica's keen FBI sense thinks something is up but Georgie skillfully changes the subject to what their next step is. He wants to flay a Visitor, but Ryan thinks it is dangerous because then the Vs will have no choice but to retaliate. The world can't win that war. I don't really understand that reasoning, because what other option do they have except to show the Vs' true nature and let the human race's natural disdain for taking orders from helpful reptiles kick in? Puff the Magic Dragon not withstanding. At any rate, Ryan thinks it is a bad idea and Father Jack agrees. He has been praying for The Rapture. By the way, if you are a good Christian and The Rapture happens, don't forget about your pets. Erica ignores all the dissembling and gets back to her question for Ryan: How does he know so much about the Vs? They engage in the ancient art of a staring contest but we all know that Ryan, being a secret reptile, is totally going to win. Georgie interrupts the action by vouching for Ryan's heroism at the warehouse. Outside, though, Georgie can't believe Ryan can't or won't trust a priest and an FBI agent. I mean if you can't trust them, right? Ryan doesn't answer, but points his finger at Georgie's chest and tells him he never wants to hear him talk about skinning a V again. If I were you Georgie, I would follow that advice.
On board the mothership, secret member of the Fifth Column, Dr. Joshua, is explaining that Alien Dale was murdered (MURDERED!) in their medical bay. Anna and her Executive Assistant don't take the news well. They have never had a murder onboard their ship before. Anna instructs Joshua to assemble his team and find out who did this heinous act. Oh he doesn't need to assemble his team to know that.
Back at her large real estate porn house, Erica is hard at work trying to track down any and all information about Ryan. No matter what she searches she can't find anything beyond his state ID. Based on his driver's license photo alone (hello, Glamour Shot!) Erica should have realized Ryan is a Visitor. She's probably just distracted by her idiotic son, like, wanting to talk all of a sudden. Doesn't he see that she is working? Erica tells Tyler to give her two minutes to finish her search for damning evidence she can use against Ryan. Ty grabs the remote, flips on the television, and waits. And waits. Obviously the only thing on television is Chad Decker and Anna. Apparently the Golden Girls are non-existent in the not-too-distant future. Let alone The Price is Right. The Vs did away with that show first, because one of their sleeper agents went on it and lost because they were a measly dollar over the actual price of the dishwasher. The V hive mind didn't think it was fair at all that the winning contestant was a hundred dollars under. Where is the justice in that, right? A hundred is farther away than one! The Price is Right rules are stupid. They had no choice but to pull the plug. Anna is now announcing an exciting new V initiative where they are expanding their health care centers. Erica frowns at the television. Meanwhile, Val is watching the same broadcast while she waits on the phone trying to reach her doctor. But since our human health care system is so deficient, obviously she can't reach her doctor to help her change her heart medication. She considers stopping her meds, but Ryan thinks that would be a bad idea. Raise your hand if you think Val will have no choice but to go sample the fruit of the Visitor's universal health care system? Ryan turns his attention to the television set where Anna is announcing an exciting new vitamin shot full of juicy V goodness available for only a limited time, so earthlings better act now! If the Vs started counting down the number of vitamin shots available QVC-style, humans would be all over it. Anna continues her infomercial: the vitamin will help prevent sickness including various types of cancer and may even prevent unsightly wrinkles from forming. They'll be offering the injections around the clock, but call now to reserve one because they are going fast! Ryan looks troubled, but probably because he knows it is too late and supplies are dwindling. Chad plays Glen Ross to Anna's Glenn Garry and asks if they have cured the common cold yet...hahahahaha. Anna smiles that people will have to still rely on their flu shots for that, which is SO STUPID because flu shots have NOTHING TO DO WITH COLDS. Come on, is it so hard to fact check these things?
Back at Erica's house, Tyler is losing his drive to communicate with his mother. And, seriously, Erica, there is a window of opportunity to talk to your teenage son and it is quickly closing. He calls her on the fact that it's been two minutes since he asked if they could talk. Erica sighs audibly and then closes her computer and comes to sit on the couch next to him. He starts to tell her about Lisa and then, awkward parent that she is, she interrupts to tease him about the half-naked girl in his room. Er...right. He gets flustered and when her phone rings, he encourages her to take the call, and walks out. While I love a hard-working single mom as much as the next lazy feminist, Erica is a really crap mom. While I realize she is saddled with a pain-in-the-ass like Tyler for a son, there is something seriously lacking in her parenting skills. I guess it shows good depth of character development for the writers or something. But it just seems annoying to me. Anyway, it's Ryan on the phone and he needs to meet NOW.
Father Jack, Erica, and Georgie join Ryan for a hasty bible study at the church. Ryan explains that the new shot is from an old playbook. Years ago he uncovered a cell of V scientists working on an injection to infect the human race with...er, something. Ryan is convinced that Anna has reactivated that plan and is hatching something big. Like in Aliens. Ryan gives Erica the names of the V scientists involved in the original plan to run through her nifty FBI database. None of the scientists are around until Ryan finally remembers a lab assistant named Peter Combs. He's now a professor of chemistry. They decide to follow him to see where he leads them. Georgie is SO not impressed with that plan.
Walking tantrum Tyler is moaning about his impossible mother to his therapist who is, of course, Val. I am impressed that Tyler feels the need for a therapist or bothers going, but I am more impressed that Val can stomach listening to this wiener whine. Look Tyler, parents are the same no matter time nor place, they don't understand that kids are going to make some mistakes. So to you other kids all across the land, there's no need to argue, parents just don't understand. Lather, rinse, repea