By LuluBates
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.The United States has established diplomatic relations with the Visitors and Anna is first in line for a visa. But their reception is not exactly pink champagne and rose petals. In fact they get threatened and lucky Erica gets assigned the task of protecting them from themselves as it turns out. Yep, the Vs are two-faced in more ways than one and have no qualms about making one of their own turn guns against them in order to garner some sympathy from us saps.
Father Jack is in pursuit of Rebel Leader George. His comatose neighbor reports that George's entire family was killed. He went nuts after that, blaming everything on the aliens and we all know they couldn't have had anything to do with it. Father Jack couldn't find George, but George finds him…gun muzzle first. Father Jack speaks truth to gun power and talks him out of shooting him in the face. They agree to fight together so they don't have to be so ronery, so ronery.
Ryan finds another rebel V, but this one, Cyrus, has a chip on his shoulder and a mission to get back to the mothership and hook up with some bliss by turning in every rebel V he can find. Ryan calls him a bliss junky and dusts him (seriously, Vs die like vampires, which is something to think about) before the Vs can answer the distress signal. He leaves a mess on the floor and a message on the door: "John May lives". The Vs totally know what that means.
Agent Erica is called to the Visitors' visitor center in response to the aforementioned terrorist threat. The shooter has taken out a guard and is wearing a V uniform. Fortunately intrepid Erica takes him out before he can shoot anyone. Unfortunately, she takes him down before he can shoot anyone. Her boss makes her hand the prisoner over to the Vs and that just makes Erica's inner rebel really uncomfortable. So she breaks into the Vs' office and makes the realization that the V uniforms are packing cameras and they are watching, always. What she doesn't notice is her knuckleheaded son getting some R and R with a buxom blonde.
Yes, the idiot Tyler is still making a play for hot V princess, Lisa, who has not only gotten her visa, but has gotten the chucklehead back into his V peace ambassador uniform. It's a nice uniform, but it sure would look better on the floor of his bedroom. Bummer that his mommy came home and busted up their make out session. Ty is obviously a crap liar, so it is lucky that Lisa is quick enough to realize that she needs to strip down to her skivvies to avoid being seen in her uniform.
Reptile Anna practices looking human and sympathetic for her heartfelt apology to the woman who has been spearheading the anti-V movement because of her husband's death on the day of the Vs' arrival. Her surreptitious meeting with the woman, Mary Faulkner, results in a complete about-face and the woman's planned press conference denouncing the Vs turns into a full on "Vs Shall Overcome". The death threat against the Vs means they all have to work together to create peace. After the conference, all the silly humans love the Visitors.
Dale is back from the dead and via nifty neural construct, he's able to remember most of what happened to him during his years "undercover" as a human. He remembers how gross his wife is and more importantly he remembers that Erica killed him. Now he's going to return the favor. But Dale's memories are in the wrong hands. Well, actually the right hands. Well, it depends who you're rooting for. The person guiding Dale through his memory is another member of the Rebel Alliance, or as they prefer to call it, The Fifth Column. He is more than happy to recruit Erica as an ally.
Erica and Father Jack meet up at the church to debrief about their days. Father Jack has a surprise: He has Georgie. Then Georgie has a surprise: He has Ryan with him. But the biggest surprise comes from Anna. When Lisa returns to the mothership to tell Anna that she knows Tyler is the one, Anna pats her on the cheek. She's proud of her daughter's hard work. That must have been one sexy egg she hatched from.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!You know that old Erma Bombeck saying about travel, that when you look your passport photo it is time to go home? The saying truly applies to me, because due to some cruel and ill-timed mental lapse I decided that it would be great if the haven't-washed-my-hair-in-three-days pigtails I was wearing were permanently enshrined on my passport. And so they are. To be clear, I was not seven years old and wearing my Easter dress in fact, I was wearing a crew-neck t-shirt, that I suppose was mine although I have no recollection of it nor is it currently in my closet, that magically manages to be the exact color of my skin. Therefore in the photo, I look naked. Naked and in pigtails. Every time I cross a border I feel like I am going to get arrested for trafficking in child pornography. So the second I start looking like that picture? It is definitely time to go home. When the United States established diplomatic relations with the Visitors, one hundred lucky Vs got to line up for their visas. And get their visa pictures taken. And now we know two things to distinguish the earthlings from the Visitors: lizard skin and passport photos. Those photos were works of art. None of the Vs were blinking, scratching, yawning, or look like their photos were taken by Diane Arbus. No, they look beautiful, each and every one. Obviously the ugly humans are pissed about this and are protesting. Chad Decker reports live from the scene as Anna takes a small step into New York City. She immediately steps into an elevator and is whisked away somewhere. She doesn't blink the entire time. And if Morena Baccarin keeps up this not blinking thing I say she should be given an Emmy or least awarded some conciliatory eyedrops. Chad's writer/producer/assistant reminds him that he had a lot to do with the Vs' big day. He agrees with her, but I'm not sure anyone else would. All he did was have a pro-con panel. How does that do anything except let talking heads listen to themselves talk?
Father Jack is taking his turn in the confessional. Seems like his entire congregation wants to talk about how they are starting to doubt the existence of god because of the Visitors. They don't know if the Vs are angels, demons, or Robert Langdon. The Vs cure cancer and god hasn't done any miracles on earth since the Miracle on 34th Street and the invention of Miracle Whip. But the Vs are more than happy to perform miraculous acts on a daily basis. Father Jack is torn. The Vatican is pro-V, but with his lil sample of the Tree of Knowledge, he knows that the Vs are not what they seem. We don't see what Father Jack counsels his confessors (it's sacred after all), but he looks wracked with doubts of his own. Couldn't god have invented the Vs, too, but just like dodos and Chihuahuas and seven-foot drag queens named Lulu Bates, he forgot to mention them in the Bible?