Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Suck Like An Egyptian
By Miss Alli | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 08.02.2004
We now return to the 600-pound blocks atop the rolling platforms. Chip and Kim and Nicole and Brandon get there together, and both the guys take the task of pulling, assigning the women to the task of taking the back log out and moving it to the front. Nicole, in an interview, calls this a "little train action."
Charla approaches the Sphinx, talking about how she "always wanted to see the pyramids." I sort of wish she hadn't added the smurfy line about "another one of [her] dreams [that] came true," but hey, nobody's perfect. "Oh, my gosh, this is the Sphinx!" she adds. They walk up to the mat. They're team number two. Mirna hugs Phil, which he no longer seems to find adorable. I do think he likes Charla, though. "How amazing is this, huh?" he asks her. "I rode a horse...I had a great time," she says, nearly giddy. Phil grins at her. She interviews about being "capable of doing anything," blah blah blah, and now that she's not been quite so beg-for-help-ish over the last leg or two, that bothers me a lot less. And honestly, she is breaking stereotypes, in the following regard: At this point, I kind of don't care that Charla is short, although she is, and when it's relevant, it's relevant (i.e., running). However, my primary read on this team at this point has nothing to do with that. To me, they're not short person/tall person, or cousins, or whatever. They're an obnoxious, nitwitty albatross and the pistol who's stuck dragging her ass around. They're most interesting to me not because Charla is unusual-looking, though she is, but because I kind of want her to sucker-punch Mirna right in the solar plexus. And that's the way we all grow in our humanity.
Nicole tells Brandon she thinks that dragging the logs might be the more physically demanding of the two roles in the task, which...I doubt, but I think they're both tough. They and Chip and Kim, though, seem to have the hang of it, which looks like it surprised the newly arrived Lance and Marshall. "How the hell are they doing this?" Lance wonders. He then asks Marshall not to get distracted. "Stop looking at the camels," he orders. And then we pan over to said camels, the footage of which suddenly speeds up so that they scurry off the screen. Hee. Cute and funny.
Down in the hole, Kami is still wondering what a satchel is. "My God, it's right in front of me, I know it," she says. Linda and Karen are finding the lit-up shaft as well. Kami pulls the bag out of the water. When she emerges, she and Karli empty out the bag. "Maybe this is for something else," they say of the puzzle pieces, as one of them shoves the pieces off to the side, accompanied by the Creepy Music of Screwing Up. They look at the map, having no idea where they're supposed to go. Without reaching any particular conclusion, they just decide to go somewhere on the map, since apparently, maps are just there to lay out all the possible places one could choose to go, and you wouldn't be expected to find any particular location. "Karli and I do not have a plan; we have no idea where we're going," Kami says as they take off anyway. "We're clueless," she adds, just as we go to commercials. Hey, you said it, not me. Well, actually, I said it too, but now we've both said it.
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