Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Suck Like An Egyptian
By Miss Alli | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 08.02.2004
9:42 AM. Colin and Christie read the clue and leave. Colin interviews that they're "working as a very cohesive team," and while they occasionally "bark at each other," they ultimately have "worked together perfectly." They get a cab, and appear not to say, "Choo-chooooo!" Because they're professionals, people. Extremely intense people don't say "choo-chooooo!" Although interestingly enough, they do chew. (In fact, sometimes it's kind of a thing.)
10:09 AM. Marshall and Lance. As they go to their cab, Marshall explains that his knees are very, very sore, and that they're rapidly getting worse. He says that this morning when he woke up, he could hardly walk. I wonder if $123 is enough for a great big box of black-market cartilage.
10:13 AM. Mirna and Charla. Mirna voices over that she and Charla are "committed to this race," and that they will push each other. And by "push each other," she means, "yell, 'ruuuuuuuuun, Charla!'" They ask a guy by the gate where they can get a taxi, because with these two, it's never too early in the leg to have no freaking idea what you're doing. He points and talks, but they don't understand him very much. "Eh, train, choo-chooooo!" Mirna says. And then she repeats "train" with a rolled "R" sound, because as we've learned from countless racers past, using a funny accent when you speak English helps the international audience understand you. The guy doesn't react (surprisingly enough), and they leave. I love Charla a little bit when she says, with a certain weary tone reminiscent of trying to run a three-legged race with a drugged-out chimpanzee lashed to your ankle, "One question at a time for the people, Mirna." Every now and then I get the feeling that I would have no objection to Charla at all if she weren't with The Other One. "He had some good gold teeth, though," Mirna adds as they leave. Well, Mirna, maybe you should have hugged him and gotten it out of your system so you can stop molesting the host at the end of every leg.
Chip and Kim are arriving at the train station, and Kim is saying -- you guessed it, "Yeah, choo-choo." It occurs to me that trains don't go "choo-choo" anymore, but I realize I am being uncooperative, and there isn't really a good train noise anymore, unless you want to use the sounds of encroaching obsolescence, whatever they may be. ["I imagine that would sound a lot like the last Eric Clapton album." -- Wing Chun] They thank their cab driver and head inside, asking for tickets into St. Petersburg. They get on what is helpfully labeled "1stTrain." Thanks, caption guy!
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