Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Suck Like An Egyptian
By Miss Alli | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 08.02.2004
Phil explains that the Egyptologist is giving them a map of the Giza Plateau. Their satchel contains a bunch of puzzle pieces. If you place the assembled puzzle over the map, it has a hole in it that's essentially wedge-shaped, that points at the next place you're supposed to go. Hey, that's almost like a clue! Shocking. Anyway, Mirna and Charla (mostly Charla) empty out their satchel, and then they (mostly Charla) assemble the puzzle. "Honestly, I don't have a clue," Mirna says. Boy, there's an inadvertent meta-statement if ever there was one.
Chip and Kim, Brandon and Nicole, and Marshall and Lance are all on their way to the Roadblock clue. Marshall is lamenting that he can't run. Because of the knees, and the mincing. Boo hoo. ["Seriously? What ever made Marshall think he could do this race? It's the fifth leg and he's already completely useless, physically. I know that there are many larger people who are strong and fit, but he's obviously not one of them, so...maybe Big Brother would have been a better reality show for him to go on? With the sitting?" -- Wing Chun]
Mirna asks whether Charla thinks the hole in the puzzle is relevant. "Yeah," Charla says. "If you put that whole thing..." She quickly figures out that you lay the puzzle over the map to mark where you're supposed to go. Smart girl. See, I think that Charla, I kind of like. And once she bundles Mirna up in a carpet and throws her into the back of a truck on its way to Siberia, she and I might get along fine.
The Twinkies and Moms are running around looking for the yellow rocks. None are apparent.
Brandon and Nicole and Chip and Kim arrive at the Roadblock and rip the clue. "Who's up for going down?" Nicole says, with what I'd like to think is a slightly mischievous twinkle. She tells Brandon it would be down into the pyramids. You know, in case he was wondering. I mean, if he doesn't even believe in touching his lips to vodka...well, anyway. He looks very nervous about doing this, and in an interview that's almost too good to be true, he says that he's afraid "of the crevasses." No, really. Brandon's afraid of crevasses. Remember when Chuck was "hot and tight"? Yeah. They don't miss a single one of these in the editing room. Not one, ever. Especially since there is chicka-wocka music playing, and especially especially since Brandon looks at Nicole with this really funny smile and puts his hand over his mouth. He discusses his fear of holes (hee, snerk, snort), and then we watch him and Chip descend into the cave. "Okay, big B, show me how it's done, doctor," Chip says. Somehow, I suspect that under my interpretation, it is Chip who would be the teacher and Brandon who would be the student.
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