Episode Report Card Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Triumph of the Bill
By Miss Alli | Season 1 | Episode 11 | Aired on 11.27.2001
Both teams pile into bicycle rickshaws. Because they have the luck of the evil, the Guidos rickshaw for some reason takes off before the Frats, as the Frats' driver sort of tinkers around getting ready to go. Bill mentions yet again the Frats' fatness (thanks, Bill), and Joe points out that nevertheless, the Frats are keeping up with them just fine. "Maybe their guy's got quadriceps like you wouldn't believe," Joe allows, and frankly, that was funny. Furthermore, I don't think it's that surprising. Quadriceps like you wouldn't believe? On a guy who drives a bicycle rickshaw for a living? Yes, I bet he does have those.
Kevin urges their driver on: "Come on, buddy, you gotta pick it up here, pal." The entire thing now evolves into a very, very tense but also just slightly funny scene, in that it's absolutely the slowest incredibly suspenseful chase ever. The Frats come up just behind Bill and Joe. "Do you have any idea how heavy they are?" Bill snots. "It doesn't matter, they're immediately behind us," Joe points out. Heh. This is a good Joe episode. It also reminds me of the famous The Princess Bride "inconceivable" sequence. Bill: "Those fatty coneheads are gaining on us? Inconceivable!" Joe: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
Everybody urges on their driver. Kevin hunkers down (presumably to…reduce wind resistance?). On a curve, the Frats pass the Guidos. "That's it! That's it, my friend, very good!" Kevin says, in a moment very reminiscent of how they talked to Maxwell, their driver in the very first episode. Sigh. As they reach an uphill stretch, the Guidos pass the Frats again. "That's where it helps to be light," Joe says. Yeah, whatever. The Guidos get to the clue just before Kevin and Drew, and everybody learns that the next step is the market -- which doesn't open until 6:30 in the morning. "We'll all go shopping together!" Drew calls out. Something about the Guidos and Frats shopping together is a great image, by the way. Maybe they can all buy matching outfits.
In case you didn't notice, of course, the entire rickshaw thing was actually completely irrelevant, but you know what? Doesn't matter! It was exciting, because we didn't know it didn't matter, and they didn't know it didn't matter, so it was exciting. Surprisingly so, for something that probably never got over ten miles an hour. As we head for the commercials, Joe reminds us that he and Bill are "absolutely determined to knock out Drew and Kevin." What, you thought the Guidos would say they didn't really care anymore whether they won or lost? "I have no animosity towards Team Guido," Drew says, "but if we have to take them down to win, we have to take them down to win." Yep. I'd say so.