Episode Report Card Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Triumph of the Bill
By Miss Alli | Season 1 | Episode 11 | Aired on 11.27.2001
In the Guido cab, Joe is once again speaking to the cabbie in English with a goofy accent. Of all the habits displayed on this trip, I find that the strangest. "Jingshan Park is mountain?" he weirdly says, gesturing. Whatever, Discount Joe.
Frats arrive at the park and start up the steps. They read the clue, and decide that they don't play ping-pong nearly well enough to score five points against a local champion. "They'll squash us," Kevin says. They're heading down the mountain to do the transport "rally." When they get down there, their driver isn't completely sure where the bus can be found. Uh-oh.
Guidos, running up the steps. They can't play ping-pong either. "I'm terrible at it," Joe says, in what I think is the first display of humility they've shown in eleven episodes. They're on their way back down.
Frats find the bus, and they're off. The Guidos get what seems to be the next bus, and they're off as well. (Sing it with me! "Guidos on the bus go round and round, aaaalllll throooooough the tooooooown!") Frats de-bus and find their way to the motorcycle. They put helmets on and climb aboard. They're off. Drew, riding behind the driver, looks down at Kevin, riding in the little sidecar. "You look like an idiot!" he calls with a grin. "You look like such an idiot!" Kevin starts singing the Batman theme: "Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na…" And then he says either "Batman!" which is what I originally thought he said, or "Fatman!" which it sounds like when I listen to it now. They're tense, but they're laughing, big-time. And I like that. I also like this excellent shot of the charming smile of Kevin, Stealth Heartthrob.
Motorcycle riding. It seems to take a while, because it's getting dark. "Ooooh! Owww! I think my left testicle is just rolling around the streets of Beijing," Drew says. Hee! Now Bill and Joe get strapped into their motorcycle. The helmets, of course, look perfect on them, because they match. Furthermore, Joe has his helmet on at a jaunty angle, which I find hysterically funny. "You doing okay, honey?" Bill asks Joe. "This is a make-it-or-break-it day for us," Joe snots back. Aaargh. They're riding with Bill's hand on Joe's shoulder, which is cute. Evil, but cute. (Don't ask me what "evil, but cute" means. It baffles me, too.)
Frat motorcycle. "Very cool, like the Fonz!" Kevin says. "Aaaaaaaaaayyyyy!" He now says to Drew, "You're supposed to put your hands around his waist." Drew: "Like Pinky Tuscadero!" HA! I love them so much. They get stuck in traffic, and argue about whether it's Kevin's "heavy weight" or Drew's "extra ass" that's slowing them down. The bickering seems to have become entirely good-natured again, and I'm happy to see that. They hop out, and probably due to the traffic, the Guidos are right behind them. (Damn traffic bunching.) The Guidos refer to the Frats as "the fatties" again, as well as "coneheads." You know, for all of you who don't like to see the Guidos mocked for the way they look, I'd remind you that they give just as good as they get in this area, so I don't think they'll hate me for telling you that they look dorky in the helmets.