|
12-14 2006.05.14 |
Not So Fast, Studly Cirie gets a predictable send-off at F4, as many very nice people have gotten before her. Then Chiclets grabs the F3 immunity rather unexpectedly, and she takes Aras -- who beats her. A million dollars will buy a lot of meditation. |
| 5-4 Recap |
Ratings Bananza!
Gender Bender - Actually, last week's episode was the ratings cash cow, what with the attempted strangulation and illicit sexual behavior and all, but who doesn't love a good pun? Don't answer that. This week's episode may b e throttle-free, but there are dummies and chickens and loads of bananas. |
2002.10.10 2002.10.17 |
B+ |
Joanna |
| 5-3 Recap |
Neck and Neck
Family Values - Chuay Gahn and Sook Jai are neck and neck in the reward challenge. They're also hands and neck, as Robb attempts to throttle Clay, then gets upset by the choking noises Clay emits. Because people should just be quiet while choking, dude! Also, lots of crabs make little sand balls with their claws. It's weird, all right. |
2002.10.03 2002.10.10 |
A+ |
Joanna |
| 5-2 Recap |
Lost at Senile
The Great Divide - Jan and Helen get lost on an excursion, causing Helen -- if she only had a gun -- to threaten to shoot Jan. Except not really. Except kind of. What a case for gun control! Except not really. Except kind of. |
2002.09.26 2002.10.03 |
B |
Joanna |
| 5-1 Recap |
Thai Idol
The Importance of Being E...est - No, it's not a foreign spin-off of America's new hit television talent show; it's the newest season of Survivor. This time around, they're in Thailand, and they're just as freaktastic as ever. |
2002.09.19 2002.09.26 |
B- |
Joanna |
| Extra |
They're Back, and They Can't Get a Word In! Whew-Hoo!
Marquesas Reunion Special - Rosie O'Donnell hosts this year's reunion show, and it's complete and utter mayhem. Boring complete and utter mayhem, which is a feat in itself. Rosie's all over the place, and the S16 just try to keep up with her non-linear mode of questioning. They win Saturns for their efforts. |
2002.05.19 2002.06.02 |
B |
Joanna |
| 4-13 Recap |
Goodbye, Scuttling Crabs!
The Sole Survivor! - So long, stern-looking tikis! Farewell, hungry little No-Nos! Adieu, horrible clue writers! Yes, another season of Survivor comes to an end, and another American moron gets handed a million dollars for no good reason at all except the entertainment of the home viewing audience. |
2002.05.19 2002.05.26 |
B |
Joanna |
| 4-12 Recap |
A Whole Lot of Fakin' Goin' On
A Tale of Two Cities - This week on Survivor no one knows who's telling the truth and who's lying. Actually, everyone knows Kathy's lying, because she gets caught on tape. But they don't know that yet. |
2002.05.16 2002.05.19 |
A- |
Joanna |
| 4-11 Recap |
And That's That
Marquesan Vacation - Indeed, that's that this week as Robert -- the last remaining member of the Rotu alliance -- gets voted off. Also, Sean imitates Neleh in a delightful way, and Neleh may or may not procure an advertising contract with Disneyland. The chewed-up mint does not make an appearance, but Kathy's son Pat does. |
2002.05.09 2002.05.16 |
C+ |
Joanna |
| 4-10 Recap |
Clean for a Day
The Princess - Neleh and Paschal get to clean off all the dirt they've been rubbing into themselves for the past twenty-eight days. It's Vecepia's birthday, but she's not allowed to get clean. She misses Leander, who may or may not be her husband, but who does have a cool name. Then Robert wins immunity in a popcorn-popping challenge, and the others finally get a chance to send Tammy Stiltwalker home. |
2002.05.02 2002.05.08 |
B |
Joanna |
| Extra |
I'll Show You Mine, If You Don't Show Me Yours....Again.
Look Closer - If you missed the first eight episodes, it's entirely your fault! Watch the previouslys! Read the recaps! Why should you be rewarded for your lack of attentiveness? Why should you get a "special" clips show? Go ahead and revel in Sean's first tongue wag and Kathy's continual belly flopping, while meanwhile, the loyal Survivor viewing audience endures yet another "special" episode of "highlights" and "never-before-seen" nothings. Because they're not highlights, and we've seen them all before! Do we have "stupid" written on our foreheads? |
2002.04.30 2002.05.01 |
D |
Joanna |
| 4-9 Recap |
A Roll in the Sand
Two Peas in a Pod - Paschal and Sean win this week's reward challenge and roll around in the sand. It isn't quite dancing but still...it's a good thing Sean's of age, otherwise Paschal would be quite the hypocrite. Later, Tammy wins her second straight immunity challenge, and Zoe -- who smirks and talks about herself in the third person -- gets voted out. Bet she doesn't "dig" that. |
2002.04.25 2002.05.02 |
A+ |
Joanna |
| 4-8 Recap |
A Loverly Bunch of Coconuts
Jury's Out - Although Robert, Paschal and Sean could hardly be described as "lovely," they're definitely part of a great big bunch of coconuts. Mounds and Almond Joy really missed out on the sponsorship deal. Also this week: Sean farts a lot. |
2002.04.18 2002.04.25 |
A |
Joanna |
| 4-7 Recap |
Yor-icky!
True Lies - Maraanu finds a skull in their camp, and we're spared Hamlet-related comparisons...until now, that is. The tribe concludes that the skull's original owner suffered a "blunt trauma," resulting in a skull fracture, most likely from being hit over the head so many times by falling anvils. Or Mark Burnett. Next week, they find a dead, beaten horse. |
2002.04.11 2002.04.18 |
A- |
Joanna |
| 4-6 Recap |
No One Told Me There'd Be Bean Salad!
The Underdogs - Maraanu wins the lamest food reward yet: Sierra Mist and bean salad. For once, we're spared the resulting crappage, but the members of the other tribe sure talk about it enough. Also, John brandishes a knife at Rob, but fails to make contact thereby ensuring the intact status of his kneecaps...at least for this week. |
2002.04.04 2002.04.10 |
A |
Joanna |
| 4-5 Recap |
Where's the Love?
The End of Innocence - The self-proclaimed "Love Tribe" isn't feeling it this week as John deems Gabe untrustworthy, and rallies the other members to vote Gabe's Moppet ass out. Maraanu revels in its first and second victories, because what the tribe lacks in brains, wit, foresight, skill, ingenuity, talent, people skills, strategy, and just about every other positive attribute you can think of, they make up for in heart. Or so we're supposed to believe, anyway. |
2002.03.28 2002.04.03 |
B+ |
Joanna |
| 4-4 Recap |
I Said That Time May Change Me, But I Can Change Tribes
The Winds Twist - Rotu and Maraamu turn and face the strain this week as Peachy shakes up the tribes and then pretends it doesn't matter. The S13, however, are immune to his consultations. They're quite aware of what they're going through: ch-ch-changes! |
2002.03.20 2002.03.26 |
A- |
Joanna |
| 4-3 Recap |
No, We're Never Gonna Survive, Unless We Get a Little Lazy
No Pain, No Gain - The majority members of Maraamu don't want to be told to do any work, and they don't want to be asked to do any work, either. They don't seem to mind talking about work, but other than that they don't want to have anything to do with work, period. |
2002.03.13 2002.03.20 |
A- |
Joanna |
| 4-2 Recap |
Throw Mamma from the Tribe
Nacho Mamma - Amazed to have lasted through one Tribal Council, Patricia gets cocky this week. And a cocky Patricia is not a pretty Patricia. Not that a non-cocky Patricia is a pretty Patricia either, particularly one requesting an application of sunscreen to her armpits. |
2002.03.07 2002.03.13 |
B+ |
Joanna |
| 4-1 Recap |
Sixteen Strangers, Two Giant Boobs, and One Just Peachy
Back to the Beach - Or maybe it's sixteen giant boobs, but the vote is still out on that one. After all, Robert and Vecepia seem tolerable, and Rob's kind of funny if you overlook the fact that it's not politically correct to laugh at the mentally handicapped. And then there's interesting Zoe, and Gina who seems harmless enough, and of course the wonderful-by- virtue-of-age-alone Paschal. Which leads directly to the conclusion that there's something seriously different about this fourth season of Survivor: they don't all suck. Not yet, anyway. |
2002.02.28 2002.03.07 |
A- |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Crap from Africa
Back from Africa - The S16 may be back from Africa, but the clips are still there. |
2002.01.17 2002.01.28 |
D- |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Reunited and It Feel So...Well, Okay
Survivor Africa Reunion - The S16 are together again before we even had the chance to miss them. But for those of you who've been hanging on patiently all season long...Rudy! |
2002.01.10 2002.01.23 |
B+ |
Joanna |
| 3-13 Recap |
Fallen Comrats
The Final Four: No Regrets - No one calls anyone a rat in the final Tribal Council, but maybe that's because all the rats ended up on the jury. |
2002.01.10 2002.01.17 |
B |
Joanna |
| 3-12 Recap |
It Was Just My Machinations Runnin' Away With Me
Truth Be Told - All anti-Lex Loser plotting is shot to hell this week as he wins yet another immunity challenge. Teresa then gets crafty -- and she gets around -- as she tries to save her own ass by convincing the other members of the Boran alliance that Tom was playing them. |
2002.01.03 2002.01.10 |
B |
Joanna |
| 3-11 Recap |
Heffalumps and Wildebeests
The Big Adventure - Like Pooh and Piglet -- except nothing like Pooh and Piglet, other than in fatness and smallness -- Big Tom and Lex Loser head off to discover new and exciting African animals. During their travels they encounter a good meal, a balloon ride, six bottles of Jack Daniels, and a kill. Hurrah! |
2001.12.27 2002.01.08 |
B |
Joanna |
| 3-10 Recap |
To the Victor Go the Spuds
We Are Family - Kimp can't talk through mouthfuls of ice cream sundae, and Ethan settles for a bowl of chocolate syrup in the Survivor auction. And then, in what is likely the best reward of all time, mashed potatoes are served! |
2001.12.20 2001.12.28 |
B |
Joanna |
| 3-9 Recap |
Out in Africa
Dinner, Movie and a Betrayal - Frank and Brandon win a movie date wherein Brandon enjoys Robert Redford and Frank enjoys Robert Redford's big guns. |
2001.12.13 2001.12.20 |
B+ |
Joanna |
| 3-8 Recap |
Snake and Rat Redux
Smoking Out the Snake - Lex hunts for vermin but catches something more catty than ratty, more Kelly than smelly. |
2001.12.06 2001.12.13 |
B- |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Clips Show or Freak Show?
Look Closer: Survivor Africa - The contestants' hidden psychoses are revealed this week after twenty-one days in Africa. Frank plays with deer antlers! Clarence likes to wear makeup! Tom dresses up in women's pantyhose! Well, he doesn't. Not in this episode, anyway. |
2001.11.29 2001.12.06 |
D |
Joanna |
| 3-7 Recap |
Survivor: The Musical
Will There Be a Feast Tonight? - This week's episode has everything you could ask for from a musical production: singing, dancing, and a reenactment of the crucifixion. And don't forget the pooping animals! |
2001.11.22 2001.11.28 |
B |
Joanna |
| 3-6 Recap |
Don't Count Your Eggs Before They're Not Laid
I'd Never Do It to You - Boranew wrestles with the issue of which to eat first: the chicken or the egg. Clarence can't stop talking about food, which surely should please his tribemates, who are trying not to think about the subject. At Sambutwo, the whine continues to flow. |
2001.11.15 2001.11.21 |
B+ |
Joanna |