|
12-14 2006.05.14 |
Not So Fast, Studly Cirie gets a predictable send-off at F4, as many very nice people have gotten before her. Then Chiclets grabs the F3 immunity rather unexpectedly, and she takes Aras -- who beats her. A million dollars will buy a lot of meditation. |
| 7-4 Recap |
Burton's Plan Is All Wet
Pick A Castaway, Any Castaway - Another water challenge almost drowns Osten, but only manages to sink his team. Burton's brilliant plan to throw the immunity challenge blows up in his face just the teeniest bit when his tribe gives him its inaugural boot. Oops. |
2003.10.09 2003.10.15 |
B |
Miss Alli |
| 7-3 Recap |
Strangers In A Train Wreck
United We Stand, Divided We...? - The Morgan meltdown continues as they blow a reward challenge as a result of literally sinking themselves, and then they blow an immunity challenge as a result of Osten's failing arms. Will they boot Lill or Darrah? Will Andrew ever stop being such a total jackass? Also, the ethics of thievery, the physics of buoyancy, and the politics of treachery. |
2003.10.02 2003.10.06 |
B |
Miss Alli |
| 7-2 Recap |
Spear Factor
To Quit Or Not To Quit - Andrew is the worst leader ever. Sandra pillages a tarp. Shawn loses what's pointy. Rupert finds it again. Christa thinks Shawn is a big "puss," but only because she doesn't know Osten. But hey, heart schmart. What we need on the Morgan tribe are pecs. Adios, Ryan Shoulders. You have the most ironic name ever. |
2003.09.25 2003.10.01 |
B |
Miss Alli |
| 7-1 Recap |
Yo-Ho-Ho And A Bottle Of Dumb
Beg, Barter, Steal - This is the tale of two tribes, their first three days of isolation, and their efforts to pass time together without walking into anything or swallowing their tongues. Eventually, straplessness is declared the worst sin of all, and poor Nicole is sent packing. |
2003.09.18 2003.09.21 |
B+ |
Miss Alli |
| Extra |
Mother's Day Massacre
The Amazon Reunion - Jenna gets a visit from the bronzer fairy, Matthew gets a visit from Edward Scissorshands, Peachy gets a visit from his sparkly mother, and the audience gets a visit from Rudy! Also, Christy reveals her reason for voting for Jenna. Although in this case, "reason" can be more clearly defined as "incomprehensible, bizarre, and totally random explanation." |
2003.05.11 2003.05.22 |
C |
Joanna |
| 6-13 Recap |
The Cheese Stands Alone
...And Then There Were Four - And likely naked, too -- at least, if there's any peanut butter and chocolate involved. Jenna takes it all this week on Survivor, which is very different than the "Jenna takes it all off this month in Playboy" conclusion the viewing audience expected. |
2003.05.11 2003.05.17 |
B- |
Joanna |
| 6-12 Recap |
Busted!
The Amazon Heats Up - HeiDDi puts the "bust" in "busted" this week as she goes on about being the "mastermind" of the game, then gets voted out. Butch borrows Elaine's dance from Seinfeld, kicking up not only his heels, but his knees and elbows, as well. Also, Matthew wins a car but can't use it to drive back home. You can't drive to Pluto, people! |
2003.05.08 2003.05.10 |
A- |
Joanna |
| 6-11 Recap |
Romance Is in the Heir
Sour Grapes - Matthew wins a "romantic" evening with his purty mother in this week's episode. HeiDDi cries a lot, and turns her back on Rob. It's not the turned back that bothers him so much, though, as the turned front. He likes the boobies! Also, Butch keeps busy believing in himself. And in the bottle. |
2003.05.01 2003.05.07 |
A- |
Joanna |
| 6-10 Recap |
Robin Hood
Q & A - Rob steals from the rich to reward the poor this week as he throw his vote in with the downtrodden Matthew, Christy, and Butch to get rid of Alex. Christy prudently plans to win a letter from home, while Jenna poutily pouts to win the same. Later, the tribe gangs up to declare Jenna sex-weapon-wielding, incapable-of-surviving, and not fit for nude modeling, so all is good. |
2003.04.24 2003.04.30 |
A |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Mostly-Seen-Before Footage
Amazon Redux - It's time for the clips show, and we all know what that means: lowlights and mostly-seen-before footage. Christy and Davey Rockett swing dance, Rob enthuses over HeiDDi's "manmade" beauties, and the original Jaburu tribe samples Jeanne's homemade delicacies: her very own fuzzy balls. |
2003.04.17 2003.04.23 |
C |
Joanna |
| 6-9 Recap |
A Bug in the System
The Chain - More precisely, there are several bugs in Matthew's system, after he enthusiastically downs them during the immunity challenge. There's a bug in Deena's system, too, as her trusted alliance turns around and votes her out. |
2003.04.10 2003.04.17 |
B+ |
Joanna |
| 6-8 Recap |
Bare Asses and Bad-Asses
Sleeping With the Enemy - Jenna's bare ass makes yet another appearance this week as she loses her pants twice during the reward challenge. And she doesn't even get any chocolate and peanut butter for it this time. All in all, Jenna proves herself fairly ass-centric during this episode, as she obsessively picks a wedgie and sticks her hand down not only her own pants, but HeiDDi's, as well. Later, Davey Rockett gets voted out for being a bad-ass. |
2003.04.03 2003.04.09 |
B+ |
Joanna |
| 6-7 Recap |
Roger That
Girls Gone Wilder - Roger gets the message loud and clear this week as he becomes the first ejected member of the new Jackée tribe. The audience gets the message too, although we think we are being given the wrong message, and then are surprised to find out that it was the right message all along. |
2003.03.26 2003.04.02 |
A- |
Joanna |
| 6-6 Recap |
Roll With It
More Than Meats the Eye - The tribes compete for spices and fruit by rolling on a giant log. Not surprisingly, Davey Rockett excels. Christy also does well against stick-figure Jenna, and in the process wins the respect (or at least the pretense of the respect) of her tribe. |
2003.03.19 2003.03.26 |
A- |
Joanna |
| 6-5 Recap |
Shuffle, Then Deal
Pick-Up Sticks - Tribes are mixed up and the Axis of Skeevil suffers a fatal blow. Meanwhile, Dave maneuvers, Jenna gives it up, Deena takes a tumble, Alex takes one for the team, Shawna makes a miraculous recovery, and in the end, Jeanne makes a highly predictable exit. |
2003.03.13 2003.03.19 |
B |
Miss Alli |
| 6-4 Recap |
Heidi, Queen of Snots
Trapped - Heidi flings herself over the edge of Irritating right into the canyon of Completely Hateful, just in time to preside over the departure of Joanna. Elsewhere, the men sing, Shawna flags, and piranhas are not fooling around. |
2003.03.06 2003.03.12 |
B |
Miss Alli |
| 6-3 Recap |
Everybody in a Lather
Girl Power - This week, Jaburu finally pulls it together. They build a roof, they clean the camp, they take two more challenges, and they come out smelling like roses. Literally. Oh, and the men get rid of Daniel. |
2003.02.27 2003.03.01 |
B |
Miss Alli |
| 6-2 Recap |
Hear No Evil, See No Evil
Storms - Christy may not be able to hear, but she doesn't need all five senses to know what Joanna's hand-in-the-face is telling her. In the men's camp, Roger makes a case against homosexuality and, in the process, for his own undeniable, arrogant ignorance. Also, some cute little piggies make an appearance! Whew-hoo! |
2003.02.20 2003.02.25 |
B+ |
Joanna |
| 6-1 Recap |
Battle of the Sexists
Boys vs. Girls - In this season's "shocking twist," the group is divided into two tribes: the chauvinist pigs versus the incompetently clueless. Or at least that's the way the episode is edited. The men seem capable of talking only about how great they are and how hot the women are, while the women immediately get down to the priority task of laundering their buffs. |
2003.02.13 2003.02.19 |
B |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Peachy Pie(hole)
Survivor: Thailand - The Reunion - Just Peachy cuts loose in this season's reunion show, but even with the incessant prattle and the interrupting and the unflagging badgering of Jan, he still bests the songfest and egofests of seasons past. |
2002.12.19 2003.01.03 |
B+ |
Joanna |
| 5-13 Recap |
Booty Duty
Slip Through Your Fingers - The S3 try to keep six coins wedged between their fingers while maintaining an uncomfortable pose, and Brian prevails, skilled as he probably is at maintaining uncomfortable positions. Helen gets voted off first, and much scowling ensues. But despite it all, Helen still luuuuuurves Brian. |
2002.12.19 2002.12.27 |
B+ |
Joanna |
| 5-12 Recap |
Mr. Sleeze
The Tides Are Turning - Brian rambles on this week about being Mr. Freeze and throwing sliders and stringing people along, and then later he rambles some more about the disposability of Jan, his soldier Helen, and his good friend Clay, to whom he may or may not give the finger. Also, Ted gets very, very happy, likely because he gets very, very drunk. He then gets very, very voted off. |
2002.12.12 2002.12.19 |
B- |
Joanna |
| 5-11 Recap |
If They Come, You Will Build It
A Big Surprise...and Another - And if you build it fast enough, you will win this week's immunity challenge! The S6 emerge from the "Jungle of Dreams" to participate in both challenges this week. Jake and Jenny may make with the tongue, but it's Ted and his brother who get horizontal. |
2002.12.05 2002.12.11 |
C |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Just Peachy's Clippings
A Closer Look - Just Peachy's toenail clippings are about as exciting as this season's pitiful "special" clips show. But then again, for a select number of the viewing population, Just Peachy's toenail clippings might be more exciting than a darned good "special" clips show. |
2002.11.27 2002.12.06 |
C- |
Joanna |
| 5-10 Recap |
When an Elephant Walks By With an Itty Bitty Waist and a Round Thing in Clay's Face...
While the Cats Are Away - ...he gets sprung! Because Clay likes big butts. He also like little butts. Male butts, female butts, human or animal -- doesn't matter to Clay. Clay just likes the butts! |
2002.11.21 2002.11.27 |
B- |
Joanna |
| 5-9 Recap |
Recipe for Dis-ass-ter
Desperate Measures - Take one recipe-spouting Helen and add a helping of Brian's ass-shaking wife. Combine with Clay drool, Ted spooge, Jan's "clavage" and Jake's butt-shot deer before sprinkling in some Penny to (dis)taste. Mix well and bake on high for twenty-seven days before removing the burned Ken from the game. |
2002.11.14 2002.11.20 |
B- |
Joanna |
| 5-8 Recap |
Smense and Smensibility
Sleeping With the Enemy - The competitors demonstrate the absolute worst performance of any challenge on all five seasons of Survivor as they prove themselves incapable of holding their breath for longer than twenty-five seconds. Sook Jai bemoans its fourth straight Tribal Council throughout the episode's remaining 3,575 seconds, and Brian invents a fun, new word. |
2002.11.07 2002.11.13 |
C+ |
Joanna |
| 5-7 Recap |
The Merge That Wasn't There
Assumptions - They're down to ten this week, and it's time for the merge. But there's no merger after all, even though the tribes thought there was. Instead, they're just living together. Religious zealots across the world disapprove. |
2002.10.31 2002.11.06 |
B |
Joanna |
| 5-6 Recap |
Feel the Warmth of a Cold (Bat) Nose
Power of One - Jan becomes emotionally invested in the welfare of a dead baby bat named Oscar. Meanwhile, Robb becomes emotionally invested in himself and leads the other members of Sook Jai on a journey of personal growth and self-discovery. He then leads himself on a different journey -- down the path and straight out of Thailand. |
2002.10.24 2002.10.31 |
B- |
Joanna |
| 5-5 Recap |
Therein Lies the Grub
The Ocean's Surprise - It's time for the seasonal food auction, and for some very expensive seasoned grubs. And grubs may not be a delicacy in Shii Devil's native land, but chicken necks sure are! Also, Helen is inspired to sing, and televisions across the world are inspired to shut off. |
2002.10.17 2002.10.24 |
B- |
Joanna |