Episode Report Card Al Lowe: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Playing Possum
By Al Lowe | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 03.09.2010
grossed out. "A cockroach can live a month without its head," he says in response to Haddie's gagging and Adam's stern but calm insistence that he put the bug away. The roach's name is Charlie, by the way. What follows is a classic parent/child showdown about food. Max doesn't want to eat any ("it's not one of his foods," Haddie mentions) and Adam wants him to. Kristina and Adam fight over whether or not he'll earn TV time for eating or have it taken away and, generally, the family stress level ratchets up with every second. "Maybe you guys could give him extra TV time," Haddie suggests out of frustration, and they fumblingly agree that he'll earn five extra minutes per bite. So, like any smart kid, he eats exactly 12 bites, earns himself an hour and strolls, Charlie in hand. "Wait, Max," Adam says, "you have to stay at the table until we finish our meal." Max: "Why? I already earned my TV time." With that, he is gone, and Adam looks ready to put a fork through his eye. "That worked out well," Haddie says. Adam: "Shut up, sweetie."That night, Adam and Kristina lie awake in bed discussing the mysterious Dr. Pelikan. Adam has emailed everyone he knows, he says, and nobody has any connection to him. "It's like trying to meet the Pope," he says. Yeah, well, don't bother trying that, either. They are interrupted by a bump in the night. The possum is back. "Arrogant son of a bitch!" Adam screams and leaps out of bed. In the backyard, flashlight and tennis racket in hand, he follows the animal through the bushes where he makes a non-possum discovery. A bag of the sticky stuff.
Dropping the bag of pot down on the counter in front of their teenage daughter the next day, Adam and Kristina display a united front of suspicion. Haddie is SHOCKED and APPALLED that they would think it was hers. "If you are lying to me right now," her mom says nervously, "you are digging yourself a very, very, very deep hole." Adam: "It would be the worst thing you could do." Haddie sighs. "You guys? This is not mine," she says. "But it feels good that you trust your daughter." They believe her, totally. "Sorry," Adam says. Let me explain what would happen if my mom had found weed anywhere near my person at age 16, 26 or 36. Instant death, no questions asked. Now, my husband? His mom found some in his sock drawer, he claimed he was "holding it for someone else," and SHE BELIEVED HIM. This story was shared with me recently and I nearly choked myself unconscious -- should I or should I not have ratted my major-teenage-pothead husband out to his mom 25 years after the fact? I seriously sat there like, "sock drawer!... 16... holding... but...!" sputtering like I was hoping she would catch on and retroactively ground him. It did not happen, which just proves there is no justice in the world.
At the ad agency, which is ridiculously over-designed as they all are to try to make employees feel better about working in a sweatshop, Edwin Chung looks over Sarah's work. "Wow," he says, "you did these in 1990?" Sarah jokes that yeah, Edwin was probably in grade school back then. "Pre-school, actually," Edwin says. The blood drains from Sarah's face. "Wow," she says, "that's depressing." It really is. He asks what she's been doing then, in the intervening years. She nervously says that she's been focusing on family. "I have two kids," she says. Edwin: "Oh, that's wonderful." Sarah: "Not if you know 'em." Ha! When he looks up sharply, she says no, she's kidding. "They're great," she says, unconvincingly. "I love them." Edwin says that what he meant was that it was an honorable choice to choose family over career. Did they seriously just make the Asian guy say "honorable choice," busting out the biggest stereotype ever? Anyway, Sarah is barely listening, getting ready to do her big spin. "I just moved back to Berkeley," she says, "and this might sound lame, but I'm ready to make a fresh start. And, if you give me this chance... I know I can blow your freakin' mind." Immediately, she gags, and says sorry, her sister told her to say that. Edwin laughs and tells her to tell him about her work. He finds it very impressive, even calling it phenomenal. Tears come to her eyes. This is why Lauren Graham is the best. She can convey in a split second all the complexities of someone who has been down on their luck for so long finally catching a break. Because -- she IS catching one. Edwin asks if she's seen what they're offering as a starting salary and if that would be acceptable. "The money?" she asks, not caring about the money at all. "That would be fine!" He wants to make sure, also, that she would be okay reporting to him. "Because I'm so old?" she asks, laughing. Edwin: "No, I'm so young!" Sarah: "No, no! I'm so old! That's fine! I can take a note from a whippersnapper like you, no problem." She takes a moment and adds, with a huge smile: "I really want this job." Maybe that made me cry a little. I'm not saying.
Joel is in a park reading the newspaper at a picnic table when Julia arrives. Is it wrong of me to pause here and comment on the absolute hotness of Erika Christensen? Wow. Her dress is out of sight. She's come there to grab 20 minutes with Sydney -- presumably before Sydney goes home and to bed for the night before Julia goes back to work -- but Joel says Sydney's not there, yet. Mandarin class ran over and he came ahead to the park to reserve a table for the rest of the parents, so Sydney is riding there with Raquel and Harmony. Julia is less than pleased. "I moved three meetings and jockeyed through traffic to have 21 minutes with my daughter," she sighs, "and she's in a car with Raquel." Joel says he'll text Raquel to hurry. "No," Julia says, "she's an insane driver, don't text her." She is an insane driver, but Joel is picking up the jealousy vibe. "I know you think Raquel is intense," he says, "and she is, but she's a great mom... considering..." He doesn't finish, because Sydney arrives at this moment. "I have 18 minutes," Julia says, kissing Joel and heading for the playground. "I'm spending them with my daughter." Dude, we get that she's your daughter -- please stop saying "my daughter" in every sentence.
Adam has dropped by on his dad, who is chopping logs in his backyard. "So, you drove all the way from downtown just to ask me this?" he asks. Adam: "Can you just answer me?" Zeek: "No, it's not my pot. I haven't smoked that stuff in years." He wants to know what Adam was doing out in his yard in the middle of the night weed-whacking, anyway. "I got something in my house," Adam says. "It's a possum, raccoon, something." Adam pauses. "It's personal," he says when his dad suggests calling an exterminator. "I feel like he's... mocking me." Zeek says, well, it could be something else. Adam: "Like what? A weasel?" Hee. No, Zeek says, maybe it's something psychological manifesting itself in these noises. Adam is saved from this ridiculousness by Crosby, who emerges from inside, having come there to do his laundry or, more likely, pick up the laundry that his mom did for him. Over their mom's carrot cake, Adam asks if Crosby ditched the weed in his yard. "Are you crazy?" Crosby asks. Oh, and he adds, could Adam cover for him if Katie asks about this weekend, since he used Max's Asperger's as an excuse to get out of that trip, kthx. "I'm double booked!" Crosby says, explaining about Jabar. Adam is amazed that there would be any question deciding between a trip to a spa and bonding with a son that Crosby has only seen twice in his life. "If you'd seen the lingerie Katie bought for this trip," Crosby says, "you'd understand the dilemma." Adam: "Hey, jackass. You have a son. Man-up and take care of your responsibilities." Crosby asks if he's comfortable up there on his high horse. "My life is complicated, Adam," he says, and though Adam obviously contemplates killing him for that, it's good that he does not, because Crosby, of all people, has an in with Dr. Pelikan. Apparently, Katie's mom "did him" at Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6Next