By Al Lowe
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Max continues to struggle in school. He breaks a fish tank when he can't stand how loud the bubbles are and gets kicked out of school. Dr. Pelikan suggests they send him to a private school in which his needs can be better met. Needs not being met: Haddie's. In all the hoopla about the new school, Adam and Kristina forget her championship soccer game.
Crosby spends the day babysitting the unbelievably adorable Jabar. He's less adorable when he throws up in Crosby's car. This minor inconvenience leads Crosby to question if he is capable of fatherhood. Things go further badly when Jabar breaks part of Crosby's mixing board at work. Crosby chickens out with Katie and, in front of the kid, lies about who Jabar is.
Julia has finally had it with Raquel, especially when it seems like Raquel is horning in on Sydney's swim lessons. So, in response, she dons her swimming togs and takes over, Mommy-style... with terrible results. Sydney's upset and Joel is mad, but ultimately Sydney does learn to swim.
Sarah goes to the coffee shop where Jim works and breaks things off... right after he introduces her to all his coworkers, who then write a rude word on her car when it won't start. She and Drew bond over fixing it. Honestly, this is the least of her problems -- apparently she has been sleeping in a twin bed with her daughter, too afraid to ask her dad if she can move into his office because of the condoms she found in his desk. Finally, he admits that he and Camille are having problems.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Max is in class, trying to work on a writing assignment when he is overcome by an annoying noise. It is driving him crazy, making it impossible to concentrate. It's the bubbles from the classroom aquarium. Across the otherwise silent room. Y'all, Asperger's is hard. I feel so terribly sorry for children who are ultra-sensitive to things like noise and tags in their clothes and whatever else. Max takes deep breaths, trying to block it out. He clenches his teeth and begs the teacher to please turn down the bubbles. The kid is obviously in noise hell and, finally, he methodically walks over to the tank and stares in while his teacher insists that he return to his seat.
At Crosby's, Jasmine drops off Jabbar for the day with an armload of board games. She is on her way to the city for a dance audition. "Break a leg," Crosby tells her, awkwardly (because everything he does is unnecessarily awkward). She says she really might -- it's been years since she did this. Crosby says surely she will have no problem, given how, if he remembers correctly, she's so limber. Ugh. Jasmine rightly looks kind of grossed out at the mention of this in front of her little son, but she heads out anyway, leaving Crosby with Jabbar. "Oh," he asks, "when we play games, I need to let him win, right?" Jasmine says Crosby might not have to let him. Crosby smiles. "He cheats, okay..." he says, nodding. Hee. Jasmine says, no, Jabbar's a genius. "Well, can I get you something to drink?" Crosby asks the kid after his mom leaves. Jabbar says yes. "Whiskey?" Crosby asks. "Or beer?"
At a local pool, Sydney is taking swimming lessons with her dad when Julia walks in, fully dressed in lawyer-wear. People, Erika Christensen is too hot for this show, okay? She is blazing, and we haven't even gotten to the part where she has on a bathing suit. Also, how hard did she roll her eyes when she read this script for the first time? Oh, the snickering writers. "See, Erika, it'll be all about how intense you are about your amazing swimming record? Hilarious, riiiiiight?" And you know she was like, "Yes, hilarious, just like when you insisted my character be named 'Julia,' thus making my DAILY 'aren't you Julia?' encounters even more weird." She kneels at the side of the pool where Joel swims over with Sydney. "Mommy, look!" Sydney says, laying out in her father's arms and blowing bubbles in the water. "That's great, sweetie," Julia says. "Let's see some swimming!" Sydney says okay, and... does the exact same thing. "What is she doing?" Julia asks Joel. He rambles on about how she's getting acclimated in the water and feeling safe. Julia obviously considers this nonsense. "She could do that in a bowl of soup when she was two," she cracks. They are interrupted when none other than McSkank herself, Raquel, splashes over to say hello, complete with tramp stamp on full display due to her bikini. "Raquel has a tattoo, see it?" Sydney says. Julia says, yeah, everyone sees it. Indeed, who couldn't? It's a Sanskrit word across her lower-back, hip to hip. "It means 'abundance,'" Sydney adds. Julia: "I'm sure it does." Oh, yes. I'm sure.