Playing Possum

S01E02

Finally, Adam and Kristina have reached the inner sanctum of the enigmatic Dr. Pelikan. Max plays in the waiting room as the doc tells his parents what a nice, wonderful son they have. Kristina makes him cut to the chase, and he says that Max is very high-functioning, but he does find that his behaviors are consistent with an Asperger's diagnosis. Bless their hearts, Adam and Kristina are devastated. "Oh my God," Kristina whispers, but Adam goes straight into coach mode. "This is fine," he says. "We can work through this, and it's not an insurmountable problem. I think we should work through this stuff one by one. So, pirate costume." Dr. Pelikan kindly tells him that it's better to start with the more big picture issues, but Adam in his way, is freaking out. Finally, Kristina insists that they should let the doctor talk. The doctor explains that though Asperger's is not something that can be "cured," it's not a prison sentence. Poor Adam does not understand. Kristina asks what they're supposed to do for Max. "You will help to uncover Max's gifts," Dr. Pelikan says. "You figure out how he learns." He explains that the research shows that the greatest barometer of success for children with Asperger's is their parents' involvement. All the irritation I felt about the Lessings has evaporated with the excellent way this information is being presented, here. Good job, show. Adam is still on the edge of the flip, shaking his head like someone just bumped his car in a fender bender. "Just in case we can never see you again," he says, with just the perfect amount of snark, "what do you suggest we do about the pirate costume?" Dr. P explains: it's not about pulling Max out of his comfort zone, it's about joining him in it. "And," he says, "when he's ready, you walk him into the world." So sweetly put. Adam and Kristina lean on each other. All right, yes, I cried.

The school fundraiser is in full swing with all adult Bravermans in attendance. On stage, Raquel is finishing up her co-chair speech, turning the evening over to Joel who will be the auctioneer. He's wearing a black jacket with a black shirt and a black tie, and despite this, he's hot. Raquel thinks so, too. "Does he clean up well, or what?" she asks the crowd, instantly getting Julia's back up. As Raquel goes on and on about Joel's amaaaazingness, Kristina's eyes narrow. "Who is this tramp?" she asks Julia. "Are they, like, screwing?" Sarah adds. "NO, what?" Julia asks, while Joel meanwhile loads praises on Raquel for all of her hard work. Julia responds to this with full-on bitch face and seriously, I cannot blame her. All this chit-chat is too much for Zeek, who impatiently yells out for Joel to get on with it before the platform (that Joel built) collapses. "That's my father-in-law," Joel tells the audience. "And I am not kidding." The auction begins with a doozy of an item -- a premium parking spot at the school for an entire year. "That's mine!" Julia tells her family, and when the bidding opens at $300, she happily raises her hand. The bids start flying pretty big, but Julia is glad to keep bidding. It's for charity after all, and finally she is rewarded when it appears she is about to win it for $650. An usher walks by and hands her a microphone, but just as Joel is about to call her the winner, Raquel jumps to her feet and ups the bid. Now, is she doing this out of competition, or because she wants to raise more money? You decide. Julia has decided it's the former, and her bulldog lawyerly streak kicks in hard. Her whole family gives her nervous glances as she stands up to continue bidding to the death. Raquel keeps upping it. Finally, Zeek turns to Julia asking what the hell is wrong with Raquel, as in how can she afford to keep doing this? "I know," Julia says in what she THINKS is an aside but is actually being spoken directly into a live microphone, "she doesn't even work." Zzzzrrrrt! The needle comes off the record. The crowd goes dead silent as Julia mumbles some stuff about how wait, not working is such a valid, wonderful choice and how she took an extra month of maternity leave and everything. Finally, Joel saves her, calling the bid going once and twice for $1,500 for Raquel. But, Julia's not going down like that. "Let's make it $1,920 in honor of the year women won the right to vote!" she says, raising her fist. "Solidarity." Wow. Feminism is dead.

By Al Lowe

"Your life is about to change forever," Mrs. Lessing is telling Adam and Kristina as they sit uncomfortably in the toy-filled Lessing living room. Kristina clutches a pillow, presumably for comfort as the Lessings talk about how much coordination it takes to parent a child with Asperger's, but actually it's probably that she's in fear for her personal safety as Noel, the famous Lessing kid, flings himself hyperactively around the room, growling and screaming and generally destroying everything. I truly loathe this scene and can only imagine the rage it has probably caused around the Internet among parents with Asperger's children. Where I think the show has done so well telling the story from Adam and Kristina's side so far, and a beautiful job with Max, this part bothered me. The Lessings are like a firehose of information, blasting them with stuff about gluten-free diets (which I am on, by the way, for non-Asperger's reasons) and casein and physical therapists... and they get on my damn nerves. They have a card file that includes scheduling for every part of their life, including their sex life. "Hey, isn't it Tuuuueesdaaay?" Mr. Lessing asks, and I pause the TV and wonder, "isn't it 2010 and didn't that joke go out in 1979?" Ugh, anyway, maybe I have Asperger's because I can't deal with the overstimulation of this scene -- their son is raging all over the house like a grizzly bear and I literally can't hear the dialogue. What's noteworthy here is that Adam and Kristina learn about Dr. Pelikan, a great behavioral specialist for children with autism. But forget about Pelikan, Mrs. L says. "He's an elusive ass. Nobody gets to see Pelikan!" she says. "He's like the Bob Dylan of autism!" Haaa! Very clever, although some people think that Bob Dylan is the Bob Dylan of autism. No joke. While Kristina holds her ears to ward off Noel's 11-level electric guitar in the room, Adam emails all his contacts to ask if anyone has an "in" with Pelikan. Worth a shot, he says. They are preparing to leave this madhouse when the Lessings insist on them staying for dinner. "We made dinner," Mrs. L says. "Well, we didn't make it, we have to pre-heat the oven!" Lord. Why Adam and Kristina who have been married for many years can't simply sell out their children and be like, "oh, we have to pick up Haddie at a thing" or "Max needs us to be home," or... anything, I don't know, but they don't manage it before the Lessings welcome them to "the family" and demand -- screaming over their loud child -- that they stay.

By Al Lowe