Episode Report Card Al Lowe: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Playing Possum
By Al Lowe | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 03.09.2010
those cheapie strip mall places? I should have known better, but whatever. Anyway, the photographer, a woman our own age, was saying all this awesome stuff like, "It's easy to smile at DADDY, isn't it? I'd smile, too, if I was in DADDY'S ARMS! You're so lucky to have a big, strong DADDY." No, seriously, I was dying. I had to step away to keep from laughing and left my poor husband standing there with the baby, who did not smile even once, daddy's arms or no. In fact, the look on her face was much like Julia's in this scene -- one of sour derision. On her way out, Raquel makes sure to hug AND kiss "Joelskis" and tell him he's amazing. "Oh," he answers. "All righty." She also says something in Chinese to Sydney, who answers her, causing Raquel to gasp. "I just said 'I love you' to her in Mandarin," she trills. "And she said 'I love you, too.'" Julia is obviously thrilled."Your life is about to change forever," Mrs. Lessing is telling Adam and Kristina as they sit uncomfortably in the toy-filled Lessing living room. Kristina clutches a pillow, presumably for comfort as the Lessings talk about how much coordination it takes to parent a child with Asperger's, but actually it's probably that she's in fear for her personal safety as Noel, the famous Lessing kid, flings himself hyperactively around the room, growling and screaming and generally destroying everything. I truly loathe this scene and can only imagine the rage it has probably caused around the Internet among parents with Asperger's children. Where I think the show has done so well telling the story from Adam and Kristina's side so far, and a beautiful job with Max, this part bothered me. The Lessings are like a firehose of information, blasting them with stuff about gluten-free diets (which I am on, by the way, for non-Asperger's reasons) and casein and physical therapists... and they get on my damn nerves. They have a card file that includes scheduling for every part of their life, including their sex life. "Hey, isn't it Tuuuueesdaaay?" Mr. Lessing asks, and I pause the TV and wonder, "isn't it 2010 and didn't that joke go out in 1979?" Ugh, anyway, maybe I have Asperger's because I can't deal with the overstimulation of this scene -- their son is raging all over the house like a grizzly bear and I literally can't hear the dialogue. What's noteworthy here is that Adam and Kristina learn about Dr. Pelikan, a great behavioral specialist for children with autism. But forget about Pelikan, Mrs. L says. "He's an elusive ass. Nobody gets to see Pelikan!" she says. "He's like the Bob Dylan of autism!" Haaa! Very clever, although some people think that Bob Dylan is the Bob Dylan of autism. No joke. While Kristina holds her ears to ward off Noel's 11-level electric guitar in the next room, Adam emails all his contacts to ask if anyone has an "in" with Pelikan. Worth a shot, he says. They are preparing to leave this madhouse when the Lessings insist on them staying for dinner. "We made dinner," Mrs. L says. "Well, we didn't make it, we have to pre-heat the oven!" Lord. Why Adam and Kristina who have been married for many years can't simply sell out their children and be like, "oh, we have to pick up Haddie at a thing" or "Max needs us to be home," or... anything, I don't know, but they don't manage it before the Lessings welcome them to "the family" and demand -- screaming over their loud child -- that they stay.
I must briefly discuss two of the commercials in this break. I hate doing this, but I have to. First of all, I was looking so forward to this Matt Damon movie Green Zone in which I presumed he'd be kicking ass and taking names, hot-CIA agent-style? Not so, according to this perfectly-stated and succinct review from Pamie. Girl just saved me $10. Secondly, I love seeing celebrities hanging out and shooting the breeze as much as the next guy, but doesn't The Marriage Ref seem like a parody of itself? It's the guests, mostly: Larry David and Madonna, together at last? Thanks?
Sarah is shopping for an interview dress, emailing phone pictures of her selections to Julia, the busiest lawyer in California. The first, a busy print on black that is pure Lorelai Gilmore, does not go over well. "It's a little..." Julia says. Sarah says she thought she was doing "hot corporate," but her sister says no. What she needs to do is go in to the interview and say "I'm the only one who can do this job." Sarah rightly tells her that that's not true, since just about anybody could do the job better than she could, since she's probably not even qualified. "That's probably not the best attitude," Julia says. "You need to spin a little." Sarah sighs. "I can't spin," she groans. "I've lost my spin." Julia: "May I spin?" Sarah: "Please." Julia says Sarah's a great artist who has been unavailable for a while, doing other things. Sarah: "Checking my ex-husband into rehab." But Julia is still spinning. "Now that you're back the East Bay," she says, "and you're ready to pick up where you left off." Sarah: "To move in with my parents at an inappropriate age." Heee. Julia says she's not helping, but Sarah laughs -- the thing is, she can't really let herself imagine that she'll get the job. "They called you, didn't they?" Julia asks. Sarah says yeah, that's the amazing part. "I just sent my work," she says, "and they called." Y'all, can we talk about being unemployed for a second? It has its charms, but actually, it sucks. Unless, I suppose, you are married to someone with a nice job? Have I mentioned my husband is a PhD student? Yes, if you've been reading my recaps for years, STILL. Anyway. Julia says yes, they called because they can see Sarah's talent in her work. "That's step one," she says as Sarah snaps a picture of another dress and sends it to her. "Step two is: you look this guy in the eye and you tell him, 'I am going to blow your freakin' mind.'" WHY did I not think of that Friday at my interview? Sarah says it sounds good when Julia says it, and asks if she got the photo she just sent. "I think," Julia says, trying to wave away the purple monstrosity, "we're in the wrong store."
In his lair, Crosby is being treated to a lingerie show by his girlfriend, Katie. "What do you think?" she asks, ripping back a curtain and revealing a very sexy ensemble, indeed. He is speechless for a moment, but finally says that, in fact, he is not sure this weekend trip they have planned is going to work out. Apparently all this underwear is stuff she bought for the trip, which... why is she showing him, then? Wither the element of surprise? It's like serving dessert first. Anyway, she's the one who's surprised, now, by his news that their plans have been waylaid. "What could have come up?" she asks, angry. He hems and haws, and she flips. "If you're back with that bimbo waitress, Brandy," she starts, but he holds up his hands for peace. "I'm not back with anyone," he says. Apparently he is feeling guilty about blowing off Jabar, even though he really isn't doing that because he did already have plans, but whatever. Instead of telling his pseudo-fiancé anything about Jabar, at all, he says he needs to stick close to home this weekend to "be there" for Adam and Kristina as they deal with Max's possible Asperger's. Ridiculous. Somehow, though, possibly because she is not wearing any clothes and thus is emotionally vulnerable, Katie buys this. "It's amazing to hear you talk like that," she says, tearing up. "You're gonna be an amazing father one day." What's amazing here is how stupid she is. As she cleaves him to her bosom, he considers what he'll be missing and says, you know, this whole thing with Max is not set in stone, or anything, so maybe they should keep the option open.
Speaking of Max, he's doing his thing at the dinner table, fixating on bugs and continually sharing facts about them, up to and including having a HUGE live cockroach in a box on the table, not picking up that everyone is