|
4-21 2005.05.13 |
Bye, Bye, Trekkie Baby Tri'Pol dies; Quantum makes another self-indulgent speech. |
| Extra |
Triacus of the Damned
Star Trek: The Original Series: "And The Children Shall Lead" - Kirk struggles with a horde of juvies who hijack his ship and bring out "the beast" in him, along with a bilious facsimile of an erstwhile Friday night host of a PBS series. |
1968.10.11 2003.07.25 |
B |
Keckler |
| Extra |
Jimmy crack Gorn and I don't care
Star Trek: The Original Series: "Arena" - Kirk makes use of local ingredients to concoct a truly magnificent meal for murder. Someone call in Poirot! |
1967.01.19 2003.07.19 |
B- |
Keckler |
| Extra |
The Bad Seed
Star Trek: The Original Series: "Space Seed" - Fifteen years before The Wrath of Khan was even a glint in the milkman's eye, Kirk came across a strangely compelling man with strangely compelling bronzed pectorals. |
1967.02.16 2003.07.08 |
B+ |
Keckler |
| 2-26 Recap |
Starfleet and Coffee, Maple Syrup and Damn
The Expanse - In an anvil ripped from the headlines, Earth has a pre-emptive strike launched against it by some alien species with a Middle-Eastern-sounding name. |
2003.05.21 2003.05.26 |
B |
Keckler |
| 2-25 Recap |
Booty
Bounty - T'Pol gets false sex pains while locked in a small room with Phlox, and Quantum is featured on Kronos' Most Wanted. |
2003.05.14 2003.05.17 |
D |
Keckler |
| 2-24 Recap |
Fist Fight
First Flight - Quantum relives his glory days of bar fights, making off with government property, and meeting Trip for the first time. |
2003.05.14 2003.05.16 |
C- |
Keckler |
| 2-23 Recap |
The Importance of Being Earnest Borgnine
Regeneration - Quantum and Qrew encounter the Borg. Trekkies everywhere weep at the death of continuity. |
2003.05.07 2003.05.09 |
B |
Keckler |
| 2-22 Recap |
A Slave's Narrative
Cogenitor - Trip meddles with the reproductive practices of a tri-gendered species. |
2003.04.30 2003.05.03 |
A |
Keckler |
| 2-21 Recap |
Crazy Like A Phlox
Breach - Phlox rocks. Trip, Reed, and May-Chanko-Nabe Treklunk on the cave set. T'Pol needs cucumbers, and Quantum is a dick. Again. |
2003.04.23 2003.04.25 |
A |
Keckler |
| 2-20 Recap |
Home Is Where the Snark Is
Horizon - A Very Special Episode, May-Punk returns to the familial fold, but is dismayed not to find a Nutri-Pak lamb roasting on a spit for him. |
2003.04.16 2003.04.19 |
B+ |
Keckler |
| 2-19 Recap |
Manura Penthe
Judgment - Imagine rediscovering Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country and finding that it had been replaced by a soul-sucking Bermaga-magicked episode. Now, get drunk. Yes, that's about where I am as well. |
2003.04.09 2003.04.11 |
C- |
Keckler |
| Extra |
There Was A Freakish Man Who Had A Freakish Smile
Star Trek: The Original Series: "The Corbomite Maneuver" - In this vintage piece of Star Trek history, Kirk finally meets that blue-faced alien in the closing credits, Spock shouts in iambic pentameter, Bones puts Kirk on a diet that obviously never takes, Uhura dresses in yellow to catch a fellow, and Sulu just begs to have his bra stuck in the freezer. |
1966.11.10 2003.03.18 |
A |
Keckler |
| 2-18 Recap |
Crossing Over and Out
The Crossing - Wisps of vapor, or blobs of light, enter and re-enter Tucker, Reed, and other crew members. This pisses off Captain Quantum. Again. Some more. |
2003.04.02 2003.04.03 |
C |
Alex Richmond |
| 2-17 Recap |
Mallomar
Canamar - The action was soft and marshmallowy, and the plot was like the chocolate I once left it in the cupboard above the stove and forgot about it until it turned chalky white around the edges. I got a craving and had nothing better around, so I ate it. It left a really bad taste in my mouth. |
2003.02.27 2003.03.02 |
C |
Keckler |
| 2-16 Recap |
Future Nonsense
Future Tense - The crew finds a mysterious pod with a John Doe cross-breed inside and start speculating all over the place. Two sets of aliens show up to lay claim to the pod, and get violently shirty when they meet Quantum's forbidding furrow. T'Pol considers cross-breeding. |
2003.02.19 2003.02.22 |
B- |
Keckler |
| 2-15 Recap |
Grease Fire
Cease Fire - The Andorians are back to butt heads with the Vulcans. That Quantum is called in to referee all the head-butting serves only to complete my boredom. |
2003.02.12 2003.02.16 |
C |
Keckler |
| 2-14 Recap |
Melded Cheese on Melda Toast
Stigma - That cute little intrusion B'Stiller forced on T'Pol seems to have had deleterious effects. And Excedrin PM cannot come to the rescue on this one. |
2003.02.05 2003.02.09 |
B |
Keckler |
| Extra |
Arch Nemesis
Star Trek: Nemesis - Once upon a time, there was a lovely little ship called Enterprise A, B, C, D, and E, and then it crashed into something. I think it was Shatner. |
2002.12.29 2002.12.29 |
A |
Keckler |
| 2-13 Recap |
From Dusk 'Til Yawn
Dawn - Trip and Don at Gas Giant. Trip, his chest hairy, his chest bare. Don, his eyes yellow, his mouth full of antibiotic spittle. Keckler, her head sore, her beer bottles depressingly dry. |
2003.01.08 2003.01.10 |
C- |
Keckler |
| 2-12 Recap |
Stormship Troopers
The Catwalk - While being riders on the storm of the twenty-fourth century in the nacelles, Quantum and qrew leave themselves open to an alien boarding. Since he's gotten really out of practice, Quantum decides it's time for him to do a little heroic furrowing. |
2002.12.18 2002.12.22 |
A- |
Keckler |
| 2-11 Recap |
Kiss Me, Ingrate
Precious Cargo - Trip, who IS from Florida, rescues a bit of crumpet from her crystal coffin, but as soon as he gets his Universal Translator working, he wishes he hadn't bothered. We all do. |
2002.12.11 2002.12.14 |
D |
Keckler |
| 2-10 Recap |
The Inner Light's Pox-Ridden Bastard Cousin
Vanishing Point - Hoshi gets trapped in a world where she's doomed to wander for all eternity in a jog bra, but no one can see her to admire her skin. Except the viewers, of course. |
2002.11.27 2002.11.30 |
D |
Keckler |
| 2-9 Recap |
The Naked Then
Singularity - Yet another Trek series seeks refuge in a storyline where the crew is afflicted by a weird illness that causes them to act comically. Bakula was actually good in this one -- or was that just the radiation sickness talking? |
2002.11.20 2002.11.23 |
A- |
Keckler |
| 2-8 Recap |
I Left My Communicator In San Francisco
The Communicator - Quantum and Reed attempt to pick up where "A Piece Of The Action" left off. But in the past. And without the funny voices, mannerisms, and Spocko in a zoot suit, helping Kirk drive a "flivver." If Bermaga were going to borrow from the past (again!), couldn't they at least have made it good? JUST THIS ONCE?! |
2002.11.13 2002.11.15 |
C- |
Keckler |
| 2-7 Recap |
Seven of Whine
The Seventh - In her past life, T'Pol visited H'zelden to purge her psyche of a pesky guilt complex, but when she starts experiencing flashbacks of murder most foul, Quantum becomes her therapist, shoulder to cry on, and bosom buddy. While T'Pol has multiple nervous breakdowns on a frozen planet, Trip, Reed, and Phlox pal around on the ship and discuss loose stools. |
2002.11.06 2002.11.09 |
B |
Keckler |
| 2-6 Recap |
Moroners
Marauders - Emboldened by a headband from Footloose, Quantum saves a dusty locale from pushy mineral rights blackmailers. |
2002.10.30 2002.11.01 |
D |
Keckler |
| 2-5 Recap |
Pets and Petulance
A Night In Sick Bay - Now that Quantum's got the Furrowing Butt Chump down pretty well, for his next trick, maybe he can be a captain. |
2002.10.16 2002.10.21 |
D |
Keckler |
| 2-4 Recap |
Maximum Over(warp)drive
Dead Stop - Stephen King is no longer writing novels, because he decided to write for Enterprise. Okay, not really, but it was still the best episode they've done yet, what with the dead people and the Evil Service Station and the actual acting. |
2002.10.09 2002.10.13 |
A |
Keckler |
| 2-3 Recap |
Starship Mine
Minefield - Nothing brings two men together quicker than the disarming of an anti-starship device, discussing bodily functions, and staring Death in the face long enough to tell him he's got bad breath. |
2002.10.02 2002.10.05 |
B |
Keckler |
| 2-2 Recap |
A Vulcan's Tale
Carbon Creek - Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a pointy Vulcan, who walked a pointy mile and fell in love with a human for awhile. |
2002.09.25 2002.09.27 |
B- |
Keckler |