Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Love Is All Around
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.14.2002
Miss Bump steps up to cross. If women are too soft, they get punished, too, yes? The guy doesn't follow. Miss Bump drapes herself on John's lap, spritzes herself with perfume, leans over him and runs her hand up his leg to illustrate ways in which women can (unfairly) use their femininity in the workplace to advantage. John asks the record to reflect that she "just grazed [his] Johnson." So, where does the witness draw the line between being too imperious and being a flirt machine? The guy says, when the woman exec is deeply hated, it's time to go to the seminar. That's all.
Ally's house. A very very very fine house. She's hired an old lady baby-sitter, who just turns up the volume on the TV when Ally tries to give her instruction on Maddie's nighttime routine. Ally asks Maddie if she's "being worse than Bonnie," what with going out all the time. Maddie says it's only two nights, and besides, "if it works out with Victor, it'll all be worth it!" But it may not work out with Victor. Maddie knows. The baby-sitter shushes them, and the doorbell buzzes. It's Victor, here for Date #4, another non-sex date. Yawn.
Nelle yells at John for allowing Miss Bump to "totally control" him in court. She needs the Biscuit: "Where's the Biscuit?!" Miss Bump walks in, saying that sounds like a fun game. Oh, and she's representing Jerome, because the firm of Cage, Fish and McBeal drove a wedge of distrust between him and his woman, Dame Edna. Oh, boy. And, she's ready to settle on the other case. The details John can hear about at her gym, at 9 PM. Then they "can put this whole matter to bed." She tilts her head at him, then spins and marches out. Nelle says they have "to get that bitch." John says no worries: "She's a bagel." Um, "toast." He meant to say "toast." The violins play, and Nelle looks at John funny.
Aerial shot of Boston at night. We land at the bar. Vonda's singing "In the Still of the Night." Not to be confused with In the Heat of the Night, a show I can actually deal with watching once in a while. Corretta, Richard, Dame Edna, and her sweet Jerome share a table. Dame Edna says she doesn't know why Jerome is getting all upset, since she "dropped the request." He says it brings up old wounds -- and does she think their relationship is purely physical? Richard spit-takes widely. Dame Edna likes "the quiet moments together," not just "the hot dogs and buns." Another spit-take. Sigh.
Gym. John walks in and sees Miss Bump in her brief, midriff-baring work-out clothes, sweaty and happy to see him. God, she's thin. So petite and little! She asks that he join her in the hot tub to discuss the details of the settlement. He "can get trunks in Reception." Ew, communal swim trunks. She bounces off (not at all literally), and he hums nervously. Then he eyes up the massive tattooed dude on the StairMaster nearby, and makes his humming more macho, grabs a weightlifting belt, and heads off to share swim trunks.