Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Love Is All Around
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.14.2002
Knock, knock, it's JBJ, at Ally's office door. Everything's fine. But why haven't they had sex yet? Well, because Ally is "over thinking it." And, she's a retard. Oh my god, JUST DO IT ALREADY. I don't care if it's supposed to be a two-hour "event." We're at one hour and 11 minutes and I CAN'T STANDS NO MORE. Stick it in. Put some motion in the ocean. Make the baby. See the tree? Go sit in it. JBJ asks her for lunch, and then after, maybe some sex? Great. See you later.
Nelle takes the cross: how has the Bully Broad seminar made the witness a better leader? By teaching her to act weak, a.k.a., playing up emotions like the boo-hoo display seen earlier? The witness can see Nelle is "frustrated," but doesn't take the bait.
In chambers, the too-tough female exec decides that her lawyers suck. She wants the 400 Gs Miss Bump offered, and "out" of this case. Mm-hmm.
Ally wants to know what happened with Dame Edna and her sweet Jerome. The wedding is off? Yeah, and there was a lawsuit, too. Dame Edna is in the Unisex. Ally goes to find her, pokes her head to look underneath the stalls, and wham, gets beaned by none other than Matthew Perry, who just popped in to use the Unisex, I guess.
Matthew Perry carries Ally through the office in his arms. She giggles, like she's drunk. Maybe he done knocked her brains loose. JBJ exits the elevator, sees this tableau, and looks bemused. Ally introduces her two dudes to each other. Have they met? Giggle giggle! Yeah, they just did. Matthew Perry carries her to her couch. JBJ follows.
Ally, still acting drunk, insists that these two men want to "bed [her] down," and that she's "really good in bed." She says she wants to "hang a sign around [her] neck that says, "you've seen [her] dance, now see [her] fornicate." Oh, and she "sniffed Victor's ass once." Elaine says the doctor is coming. The sounds of birdies chirping and violins plucking mean it's the end of the scene.
Nelle, John, and Miss Bump meet in chambers. She's taking the offer of $400,000 off the table, since she's so sexually attracted to John, it might seem like she's doing them favors. Besides, she's winning. John's trying this case like a mariachi, she says. The offer is down to $200,000. And if Nelle and John stew for longer than the end of the day, it goes down to one. Sigh. She played them like a violin. John says he's going to get her. He doesn't say in what capacity.
Jerome is rehearsing in the bar, singing "Jump Shout and Boogie" with the band. Corretta comes in, smiling. Jerome's a good singer. He sees her and calls for the band to stop. She asks what the party's for: is the wedding back on? No -- he "doesn't need two to tango." And, she's an "evildoer" barred from talking to him. Well, she wants to say something positive. Can she? Please? He calls for the band to take five and listens to her. She wants Jerome and Dame Edna back together. He's bitter about the pre-nup, and says "people can't be pushed in directions that they don't want to go," but he'll think about it.