Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Love Is All Around
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.14.2002
The doctor gives Ally a clean bill of health. JBJ offers to take her home. She smiles at him -- does he want to go out later tonight? She'll find a "young, healthy baby-sitter that will still be alive when [they] get home." He kisses her and splits. Who pops up? Yup. Matthew Perry. Elaine wiggles at him and looks pointedly at Ally, like he's better than JBJ or something. He says that he's sorry for the whole "hitting on all of you thing," and that he's taken his "boyfriend hat out of the ring, and is tossing it back in the employment ring." Ally says no. She's "passing" on his offer. Yeah, she knows he's the best. She still says no. He asks her a million questions, like, does she hate to be challenged, and is she threatened by him, and "does [she] use the 'get out' card in [her] personal life, too?" Leave, dude. He does, and at the door says, "Have a nice, uncontested life." Sure thing, dick. Ally looks blank, like she missed out on something. Oh yeah, Ally, P.S., Matthew Perry is the man of your dreams. You will now Forever Be Unfulfilled.
Closing arguments. John steps up: his client was sent to a seminar "not to become nicer, but to become more feminine. And there's a word for that. Sexjism." He means "sexism." ["They said that on network primetime?! Wow, times have changed, and I am old." -- Wing Chun] Miss Bump's longing looks threw John off. Only the tough women were sent off to camp, not the tough men. That's a double standard. Why, even Miss Bump chose to use tears in the courtroom, as her weapon. John believes "a woman can make it in a man's world," and be tough, too. And the jury needs to send a message to society, "for our daughters, that [women] have the right to be strong"! Miss Bump's turn. She says it's "sex....ist" to presume a woman's ways aren't the right tools to employ in the workplace. Women are too aggressive nowadays. This case is about women losing those butch traits, like the plaintiff's employers suggested to the plaintiff. And she didn't even want to try! "She just threw down her gloves, and sued. How manly." Miss Bump takes her seat, shooting John a miffed look. John lifts his chin, undeterred.
Boston by day, via air, wooo! Ally tells Dame Edna needs to go to Jerome and "fix things." Dame Edna says she's "slightly over fifty," and that she and Jerome fight too much. She gets that horrible acid reflux-belch thing going on. Ally begins to spin: Couples who fight have more "passion" and "heat" than couples who don't. Why, Ally couldn't "see [her]self in a relationship that wasn't a bit combative!" See what's happening here? Dame Edna asks if she and JBJ fight much. No, never. They're "new." What about her and RDJ? Yeah, they "used to go at it a lot." And she's "over Larry." Mmm-hmm. "Go to Jerome," says Ally.