Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Extra! Extra! This Movie Sucks!
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 23 | Aired on 08.20.2005
...and just like that, the day spa is toast, much to the chagrin of Bitchony and Bitchory. Keri gloats that it's their time, and they've got the power, and enough with the delusions of grandeur and the argyle sweaters, Keri. But neither of those is gone just yet, as Keri suddenly has minions, be they geeks or not. After far too much discussion of the quarterback's lack of endowment, Keri shoots down a bunch of story ideas and tells her audience that Bitchony and Bitchory are about to "rally the troops." Basically, Keri needs to switch to decaf even more than usual, and it's causing tension between her and Kim. And her and the rest of the free world, but that's less newsworthy. Kim catches Teddy coming in from practice. He reluctantly greets her, and tells her that he's upset that she's behind the gossip rag, since no one's been through the rumor mill more than he. Of course, he apparently he had no idea he was even on anyone's radar the last time they discussed this subject, so apparently he's heard a lot of things about himself in a short stretch of time. That'll happen when you discover the internet, though. Kim tells him that she'd never write anything bad about him, but he tells her that he used to think she was above the school, and now he sees that she's happy to stoop to its level. Wow, it took a rebel like Teddy to put Kim in her place. And when I think of rebels, the first thing that always, always comes to mind is "pretty-boy tennis player." BMS is giving an "inspirational" speech to the privileged kids. I'm not sure why she's retained her status as their leader, given the revelation that she buys outfits that cost less than most of these kids spend daily on grooming their skeletal asses. Brett is still around as well, even though he admitted he's total white trash. He insults Bitchony and Bitchory, and then apologizes, saying that old habits die hard. That might explain his feathery hair and continued use of eyeliner. BMS suggests that they mount a PR campaign to rehabilitate their image, which will consist of them reaching out to the plebes. Her minions approve. God, these kids are dumb. Cut to Bitchony and Bitchory giving away food in the cafeteria. That's not exactly a stretch for them. BMS hands out tiaras, which is a good idea. I just want to know how she got rid of the queens so that the headwear didn't get bogarted. Kim and Keri look glum, although that could be because Keri is wearing her eighteenth argyle sweater of the film. Keri says they have to target Bitchony and Bitchory next, although I don't really follow the logic, since their smear campaign didn't seem to do much to BMS's popularity. Teddy comes over to talk to Kim, but she doesn't see him and gets up and crashes into Bitchory, and aren't superheroes supposed to have some degree of coordination? The contents of Bitchory's bag go flying, and we see that a prescription bottle is among them. Somehow, she misses this and Kim picks it up and sees that it's the apparently made-up drug "Dilutia." And if this movie wasn't contrived enough already, we now have to deal with a Diuretic Ex Machina.