Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Extra! Extra! This Movie Sucks!
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 23 | Aired on 08.20.2005
Cut to BMS, who needs to lose both the bangs and the self-tanner. Next to her is her dorky personal slave, Logan. BMS is leading a pep rally or something, and bitchily asks Logan for the "invites." They're orange paper leaves with something about BMS's "Fall Ball" on them. After telling people that the guest list will be smaller than usual, Logan starts handing out invites to anyone who'll grab them. Whatever. Kim says that they have to get into the party. Keri moans about how exclusive it is. Of course it is. Orange leaves don't grow on trees, you know. Bitchony and Bitchory stand next to them as Bitchory exaggeratedly and annoyingly waves her invite around. Keri snaps a picture of it as Bitchony and Bitchory blather obliviously. Later, Keri and Kim have reproduced their very own second-grade invites, although how they think those will stop them from getting kicked out of the party as soon as they show their Wrong-Side-Of-The-Hallway faces is beyond me. Keri especially dorks out, and says she'll see Kim that night, as she needs to go buy a killer outfit, even though I’M SO SURE BMS WAS HANDING OUT INVITES FOR A PARTY THAT SAME NIGHT, AND ALSO THE PARTY WAS BILLED FOR A SATURDAY. Did Shaun Cassidy produce this? Kim tells Peg about the party, and Peg is surprised, like, I'm sure pointing out what a social retard your daughter is normally is an ideal approach to mothering a teenaged girl. More nicely, Peg says it's nice that Kim has found Keri as a friend, and laments the thought that they have nothing to work on now. Kim's "ha ha, I've got a secret" reaction would be annoying if it wasn't followed by four minutes of blissful commercials, and I'm including looks at Andie McDowell and (P.) Diddy as "blissful." Also, what a comedown it must be for Peg to have such a loser daughter. I mean, Kelly was a slut, but at least she was popular. Party. There's a big line, which the second-grade invitations apparently allow Keri and Kim to cut, like, what's the point of the invitations if people can line up outside to get in? Kim's dressed like Cher in the '60s, by the way, but if she's aiming at impressing the queens, she's going to have to do better with the hair. Inside, kids "dance" as Kim suggests that they split up. Keri hands her a camera, saying that Mokthar freaked when he heard that the quarterback was working the front door. That, and they didn't have enough orange paper to make a third invitation. Bitchony and Bitchory dance, and at least they have a slight bit of rhythm, or they do until Kim comes over and spunkily spills a drink on them. Kim gives them a spunky smile, like, shut up Kim, and says they're even. Bitchony and Bitchory say that Kim will never be even with them, "NEH! VER!" Teddy appears and congratulates them on practicing their phonics. Bitchory: "Cuteness isn't an excuse for rudeness!" Yeah, but it makes it go a lot more smoothly. Bitchony and Bitchory see something shiny and run off, as Teddy incorporates an acting choice that's meant to be an all-knowing smirk, but in fact looks like he Botoxed one side of his face. Well, at least he's trying.