Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Half In Love With Easeful Death
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 20 | Aired on 02.19.2013
Emily: "No, be honest about something we don't already know and is obvious."
Paige: "Oh, you mean Shana? We hooked up, no big deal. For three weeks, while you were in Haiti."
(What?)
Emily: "Jacob, duh. Remember how Maya died and I left for like six months and when I came back I was a crazy alcoholic?"
(Kind of? It's all kind of a blur because you started in with the amnesia like, the night you got back. Were there like long conversations about this that I don't remember? Did she build houses? I feel like she built houses. Unless I'm thinking of Jimmy Carter.)
Paige: "If it weren't for Haiti, we never would have roofied each other. And that turned out great. So listen, sorry I didn't tell you about it, but I figured you had a lot going on and I didn't want to add one more straw to the camel's back. Like, okay, you can handle being drowned and sexually assaulted and me ruining a cupcakes-and-hats party, but what if I dated a Halloween Store employee? What then?"
Emily: "God, I love you so much. You know exactly what crazy shit to spout. You're right, it's best for you to lie to me about things."
Paige: "But only when I think it's appropriate, like last year, or at the beginning of this conversation, a few seconds ago."
Emily: "Promise?"
Paige: "I promise."
SOBER, ASHLEY
Makes her way out to the car. It's never made clear why she is on this little date with herself, or why on earth she randomly decided not to have a drink, but a lady should always retain a little mystery. Even when it's for herself.
Ashley: "So why did we go to this expense of having a lonely dinner in public, without even a book to read? The only situation that bums nearby diners out even more than that?"
Ashley: "Girl, I don't know. Sometimes you want the fairytale, sometimes you just want to stare openly at people while you devour a salad all on your lonesome."
Ashley: "Hanna, I just got the shit creeped out of me by Detective Wilden, who is now threatening you and me both. I didn't even drink with dinner, and now I have the shakes. Where are you? I'm driving home right now, but it could be a while because I'm taking the Dead Man's Curve route that goes through the Haunted Woods."
HASTINGS
Spencer comes home, freshly kissed by the latest in hot pedophile professionals.