Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Half In Love With Easeful Death
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 20 | Aired on 02.19.2013
Paige: "Hanna, are you this hard on Caleb?"
Hanna: "My boyfriend? The one that got shot in the gut by his own gun? Uh, yeah. We've had this talk, Paige."
LOCKER HALL
Aria spots poor crazy Spencer, who ducks away from her and down the hall to the bathroom, where she crouches miserably in a stall while Aria gives a perfectly tearjerking speech through the door: "Come on, open up the door. You're not the only one that could use a little Team Sparia. Ezra's back. Spencer? I know that you don't want a friend right now, but that doesn't mean that your friends don't need you."
I love it. "I just noticed that you have gone batshit insane, now that I have worn everybody else out talking about this." Like have you ever noticed how (older) people only complain about how everybody's always on their phones, or so self-absorbed, or can't stop talking and tweeting about themselves, when what they're really saying is, "Why won't you pay attention to me? Why won't anybody listen to me? It must be a fault in your character or the scourge of technology, despite the fact that I am the common denominator." To which the unsayable but only real answer is, "Be more interesting."
HALLOWEEN STORE
Shana: "God, still with this one costume?"
Paige: "Yeah, this person wore it on the Halloween Train and we tangled. It was a total bloodbath, don't worry about it."
Shana: "I'm Shana, by the way. Paige is being rude."
Paige: "Emily, this is Shana the Weenstore Lady. She is from webisodes. Shana, this is Emily and this is Hanna. They hate you because you are already being weird."
Shana: "Ah, the famous Emily."
Emily: "Yup."
Paige: "So about that costume..."
Shana: "It has come to my attention that I can't give you that information, and also you could do better in the girlfriend department. I would have told you that sooner, but I thought I'd get a chance to see you alone."
Emily: "Listen up, bitch..."
Shana: "Uh, yeah?"
Emily: "...Can I use your restroom, please?"
Hanna drags Paige and Shana over to the Queen of Hearts costumes, and Emily fakes a loop around so she can pull up their financials on the computer and email them to herself.
Hanna: "Wow, this is really pretty! What is this, silk?"
Shana: "No, polyester?"
Hanna Should Say: "I wouldn't know."