Episode Report Card Shack: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Jock Trap
By Shack | Season 4 | Episode 26 | Aired on 07.23.1998
He lurches down the corridor, knocks out another doctor, and finds Rachel's room. He frees her as well, but she's all groggy. She leans on him as he wanders down the hallways. He makes a wrong turn and encounters Chug at a vending machine. Chug asks Steve where he thinks he's going with "his girl." Icky. Steve challenges him, and they fight it out in the hallway. Chug beats the crap out of him. Rachel, though, is waking up. She grabs a metal bar and whacks Chug over the head with it. This gets him to drop Steve and head for Rachel. She whacks him on the head again, and he goes down. A pool of blood collects around his head. I imagine that I'm watching Joey and Dawson right there. Rachel and Steve flee the hospital. And lucky for them, U.V.'s psychic powers told him exactly when to drive up to the hospital to help them escape. He pulls up in the pick-up with Lindsay on the passenger side. Steve and Rachel want to jump in, but U.V. won't let them until he's certain they aren't brainwashed. He asks them what the capital of North Dakota is. When they don't know the answer, he takes that to mean that they haven't been brainwashed. Hee. That was a little bit funny. But just a little. He lets them in so they can get to the ferry, which leaves in forty-five minutes. But there's yet another problem. Apparently, good boys and girls are expected to know how to put up a successful roadblock. Blue Ribbon kids and their cars are blocking the road to the ferry. The heroes stop the truck and climb out. Dr. Caldicott wanders up through the crowd of kids and tells Steve, "It's time to leave mediocrity behind. Step up on the bus." First of all, you're creating mediocrity, dipshit. Second of all, "Step up on the bus"? Take your est crap and cram it. But before the Blue Ribbons or Caldicott can take any action, another car starts driving towards the roadblock. It's Ratcatcher Porno! Uhura must have told him exactly what was going down. She's the best. Caldicott pulls a gun and shoots through the windshield. It's unclear whether or not he hits Porno. The car sideswipes Caldicott, sending him flying off the road. Porno rams through part of the roadblock that is covering some small side road that leads off into the woods. For some reason, every single one of the Blue Ribbon kids chases after Porno, leaving the others completely unattended. Yeah, Caldicott is manufacturing genius, all right. Porno stops the car a ways down the road, then pulls off the tarp over the pseudo-bed to reveal about a dozen Boomboxes Ex Machina (Boombox Ex Machinae?). He cranks them all up, and the U.S.S. Enterprise encounters the most unusual space anomaly ever. These readings are off the scale, Captain! All the kids start freaking out and covering their ears in pain. ["Probably because they saw the same trick in Mars Attacks." -- Sars] Porno starts driving away slowly, and all the kids start chasing the car again. Back up on the road, Steve orders everybody in the truck to drive off to the ferry. Then he gives Rachel a great big kiss. He says he'll meet them there as he grabs some motorcycle from the roadblock -- now, would "good" kids ride motorcycles? -- and chases after Porno.Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Next