Episode Report Card Shack: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Jock Trap
By Shack | Season 4 | Episode 26 | Aired on 07.23.1998
Back at home, Lindsay seems to have had no problems making friends; she's brought one home for dinner, and the two of them are studying spelling. As the family comes together for dinner, Lindsay mentions that Allen was a good speller. The friend is confused, as she thought Lindsay's brother's name was Steve. Lindsay, though, meant her other brother, who is dead. The family starts getting uncomfortable. Dad asks to change the subject. This sets Steve off, because he doesn't see why they can't talk about dead Allen around the dinner table with a complete stranger. He has a hissyfit at the table and stomps off. Elsewhere, Dickie drives up to some moonlit docks in his souped-up Mustang. Alone. He's so very, very doomed. He walks up a plank to board some boat, saying that he's there for some car parts. But there will be no fan belts or spark plugs for Dickie this evening. Instead, Trent, Andy, and a bunch of other Blue Ribbon jocks come out of the shadows holding hockey sticks. I was going to make a joke about having a video with this theme, too, but then the jocks attack Dickie with the sticks, so never mind. Although I'm sure somewhere out there, there's a video...no, I don't even want to know. I shouldn't have mentioned the spark plugs, either. Another day. Steve is sitting in some guidance office, talking with two counselors or something -- they don't bother with any real introductions. They're waiting for Dr. Caldicott, a counseling specialist, to begin some sort of preliminary guidance session. Caldicott arrives (played by Bruce Greenwood), and he has a creepy little mustache, so you know he's the evil mastermind. Plus, when they discuss extracurricular activities, Caldicott has nothing but wonderful things to say about the Blue Ribbon kids, so there you go. Another guidance counselor says he knows about Allen's death, causing Steve to have some more Ethan Embry blipvert flashbacks. Caldicott gives the typical "we're here for you" guidance counselor speech. Because in the movies, guidance counselors care. Even the evil ones. Whereas my high-school guidance counselor didn't even know who the hell I was until I started taking my college entrance exams as a junior. You know, I need to pick a more mature show to try to write extras for. These high-school flashbacks are just not good for me. Steve walks out of the office to the parking lot -- and into some horrid rock ballad on the soundtrack. It sucks. It creeps me out more than Mark Snow's music. Anyway, this music is playing in order to punctuate Steve's love-at-first-sight moment. He spies Katie Holmes, dressed in tight black-denim jeans, a black leather jacket, and a torso-revealing top. She's dancing in the back of a pick-up truck to music one would assume only she can hear. Because it doesn't match the horrid rock ballad at all. Oh, and Katie Holmes? Can't dance. Sorry. It's rather embarrassing. She just kind of sways back and forth with her hips and runs her hands through her hair. Then she suddenly realizes that she totally can't dance and stops and sits down. She looks around warily; I'm assuming that she's hoping nobody saw her wriggling around like a fish on a hook.Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Next