Episode Report Card Shack: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Jock Trap
By Shack | Season 4 | Episode 26 | Aired on 07.23.1998
Outside, the two officers have left their cruiser and are approaching the car. One officer knocks on the window, recognizing the boy and asking him to step out of the car, pointing out that it's past curfew. The boy steps out of the car, and he and the officer chat about the game on Friday. It sounds like the boy is the quarterback of the football team and his name is Andy. That's still no explanation for why he needs his "fluids" for the football game -- although I have seen some videos that could answer that question in a manner not appropriate for children or delegates to the Southern Baptist Convention. Meanwhile, the other officer is scoping out the car. Hey, the other officer is Agent Jeffrey Spender from The X-Files. You know, the bastard child of Cigarette Smoking Man, who refused to believe his mother was abducted by aliens and then got killed off? Or was he? Wait, was he? It seems like it was so very long ago. And it's like none of that stuff even matters on the show anymore. In any event, Officer Spender shines a flashlight inside the car and sees Dead Blowjob Girl. Before he can really do anything about it, however, Andy grabs the gun from the other officer's holster and shoots Officer Spender in the chest. He goes down, dead. As the surviving officer calms Andy down and attempts to get the boy to give him his gun back, Andy repeats that he needs his fluids. What, did Spender make him horny, too? Andy gives the officer his gun back, but rather than arresting the murderer, the officer tells him to get out of there, pronto. Andy drags the body of Blowjob Girl out of the car and drives off. Stoner Boy and his dog, by the way, witness the whole thing and run off before the officer sees them. Here's where the opening credits would be if this were an episode of The X-Files or Buffy the Vampire Slayer or one of those shows. But instead, we cut to the Exposition Ferry (yes, that's ferry, not fairy), which is carting in our movie's hero, along with a big heap of background story. Our hero for this recap is Steve Clark, played by James Marsden. Steve's little sister, Lindsay, rushes over to him and gushes about how much better their new life is going to be and how much better everything's going to be blah blah blah moving to a new town. Lindsay runs off to make sure her 'N Sync posters haven't been crumpled during the move. The ferry passes an unmanned rowboat, which sets off Mark Snow and his dramatically intense compositions.Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Next