Episode Report Card Potes: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mind Your Business, All the Time
By Potes | Season 17 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.12.2011
We flash to the runway audience, where Bruce and Kris Jenner sit. Is Bruce Jenner actually ill, or does he look like that deliberately? I am serious in asking that question. The girls ready themselves for the challenge, and Shannon says that she's not going to let the tension with Bianca wreck her focus. Bianca also intends to keep it together, but wonders if she's fighting a losing battle. After a break, the challenge begins. Lisa is up first, which makes sense as she's already captive on the carousel of time. She's wearing a pair of sequined pants that are extra-roomy in the crotch and can comfortably contain a soiled diaper. She wastes no time in sticking a leg up in the air, and doesn't trip and fall at all as she exits the merry-go-round. BOO. Spoiler: this challenge is a HUGE disappointment in that regard. You can't show a lady getting clocked by a giant swinging pendulum in seasons past and then not have someone at least break a nose. Butter up the runway! Do what you have to do! Lisa looks approximately 1,000 years old in her Kardiashian Kollection ensemble, but Khloe is impressed by her uber-confidence.
Allison is up next, and stumbles just a little as she exits the carousel. I have to cop to kind of liking the thing that she's wearing. It looks like a dress made out of t-shirt material with one long sequined sleeve. I am allowed to have lapses in judgment too, you know! Angelea is next, and is so busy whooping and shaking her booty that she forgets to exit the carousel at her appointed time. Eventually, though, she manages to get off and be sassy to the audience for a few minutes. Angelea's assessment is, "I think I did really good. I mean, I wasn't a total mess!" Miss J.'s assessment is, "She reminds me of somebody's alcoholic aunt." She and Lisa should really get on that Golden Girls remake.
Kayla is next and almost slips, but no dice. Bre tells us that her strategy today is to be spontaneous, which involves looking like she's just emerged from sexytimes with the carousel horse. She does a spin getting off of the carousel to make it funky, then stomps it out on the catwalk. Dominique comes the closest yet to falling, but much to my chagrin she manages to save her face from hitting the pavement. Laura walks, and J. lies to Khloe that the clothes are really cute. Then it's Bianca's turn. She says that she's very serious about doing well in the competition, and will take it personally if another girl takes the prize home instead of her. Sadly, her carousel entrance and exiting are stiff and sad. Lisa tells us that Bianca was carrying all of her frustrations and anger, and looked like a mean dog. Even the Kardashians agree that there's no energy. Shannon is nervous about being after Bianca on the runway, but invokes the Golden Rule. Sadly, it's not the Golden Rule that involves runway fisticuffs. Alexandria is next, looking as always like Kim Zimmer at her current age and spouting metaphors about sea life. Can you believe she's still on this show?