Episode Report Card Potes: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mind Your Business, All the Time
By Potes | Season 17 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.12.2011
When we return, the girls ride in their limo and Bre says that it was nice to get out of the house, have a little fun, and clear the air. They land at Santa Monica Pier, which is full of rides and, according to Laura, yummy food. Then they notice a tall fisher-dude. It's Miss J.! He's wearing giant fishing boots and, I think, no pants. Bre explains that Miss J. is missing panties, a jacket, and a lot of things. He tells the ladies that fishing is, of course, one of his favorite pastimes. I don't know if that's actually true, but I can hope. But in addition to being a good fishing spot, Santa Monica Pier is also the perfect setting for an all-star fashion show. They're going to partake in a carousel runway show, which J. rationalizes was done in Paris for Chanel. In fairness to Chanel, the pictures of that one make it look much nicer. The current carousel fashion show will have the ladies stepping on and off of a moving merry-go-round, with horses and shit. Angelea harkens back to Cycle 14 and the ingenious swinging pendulum runway show. Ah, those were the days! That poor girl who got bumped into the crowd gets her own gratuitous flashback. Even though she's not an all-star she has the honor of being part of one of the greatest Top Model moments ever. Congrats, pendulum victim whose name I don't remember! Maybe she should brand herself as the one who always gets clocked in the head.
J. tells the girls to make sure they look extra chic, since they'll be modeling for the Kardashian Kollection for Sears. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse than Express! Laura, however, assures us that the Kardashians are the biggest, hottest thangs, so it's amazing to get to wear their clothes. And we all know how Laura is an arbiter of taste! Backstage, the girls get their hair and makeup done and Lisa continues her non-stop whackadoo routine. Bianca can't stop being annoyed by her. Bre tries to talk her down, and in an interview shows her support for her "sister" despite the haters in the house. She adds that the most important thing is to deliver, and she knows that Bianca can deliver. Elsewhere in the room, the haters talk about how Bre is 100% Bianca's support system. Lisa tells us that Bre is much more fun when Bianca's not around, and should be focusing on herself rather than being Bianca's tantrum-diffusing surrogate parent.
A little crowd starts to gather for the carousel runway show, and Dominique tells us that nobody should be fighting during this significant and honor-filled Kardashian challenge. Miss J. enters the hair and makeup tent and introduces his friends, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney. They are, I assume, wearing their own ugly-ass Kollection. There is much leopard print involved. Kourtney has on a leopard-print blazer, under which is a blouse with an enormous bow around the neck, like Jane Fonda in 9 to 5. Listening to these ladies speak for approximately 15 seconds, I do not know how anyone can bear to watch their show with the sound on. Khloe notes that the winner of the challenge will get to take a head-to-toe look from their collection home. Everyone gets so excited about this, which I guess makes sense as it's getting quite hard to even find a Sears.