Episode Report Card Potes: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mind Your Business, All the Time
By Potes | Season 17 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.12.2011
Next up is Angelea, who's gunning to defy everyone's expectations and get best picture for the second week in a row. She's late '80s era Michael, but mostly looks like she's channeling the Fonz. Jay asks her to thrust like Michael, then asks what she's doing to process and get through the shot -- if she's just pretending to be Michael, or more. Angelea says that she loves Michael and is trying to channel him. Jay tells her to go with that, but her shoot does not appear to improve. Jay says that Angelea wanted to get on set and truly sing, but she opened her mouth so wide that it looked like Neanderthal mouth. His Neanderthal mouth impression is really disturbing. Dominique is up next, and has one of the best wardrobe choices with "Smooth Criminal" Michael. She spins, and everyone seems delighted.
Kayla is next, as early '80s Michael. Her sequined blazer looks like it could have come from the Kardashian Kollection. Kayla has also been painted a nice orangey-brown color, and her chest-protruding, shirt-ripping pose impresses everyone. Rushka exclaims that they've got the picture. Shannon is next, and LaToya swaps out her wardrobe belt for an authentic, extra-bedazzled Michael Jackson one. She's, like, the country's foremost collector of Michael Jackson memorabilia at this point, isn't she? Shannon is honored, even though she looks insane and is totally in blackface. She's portraying the era where Michael Jackson wore Band-Aids all over his fingers, and everyone seems to love what she's doing.
Laura is next, and tells LaToya that she wants the child of Michael to shine through. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but Laura and LaToya share the secret language of kindly yet fundamentally addled people. On set, Laura has a surprise, which is that she kneels on her knees, then lifts up, then falls back on her knees again with a thud. LaToya is concerned about Laura's joint health, and tells her to stop it. Jay commends her for getting through the whole shoot and not breaking character. Allison is next, as '60s era Michael. Needless to say, she's the most blackface of all. Her eyes look extra big, staring out of her blackened face from underneath a poufy Afro. She looks like the Jackson 5 cartoon come to life. I can't believe that's actually a real human.
And then there's Lisa, dressed in early '80s Michael Jackson garb, dancing like a fool. She does the running man and grabs her crotch, and oddly enough LaToya and Jay seem to like it. Bianca begrudgingly admits that Lisa does bring an energy on set, which people love whether her photos are good or not. However, Bianca doesn't think that Lisa is the best model, and adds that she photographs old. Now, that's untrue. She looks old in real life, too! Bianca emphatically states that she is not intimidated by Lisa D'Amato. We then see Lisa do a series of jumping splits that would have rendered her sterile had she not already been through menopause twice. Jay's vagina has sympathy pains. Lisa tells us that LaToya was impressed, and predicts that she'll get more favorable feedback from panel this week. And that's a wrap! LaToya wishes everyone the best, and then slinks back to the tree trunk that she shares with her fellow woodland creature roommate.