Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Let The Elevator Bring Us Down
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 19 | Aired on 02.12.2013
Aria: "Wait, so why did she call me and ask?"
Wesley: "Poor public-school urchin. You do not know ours ways. This was a classic WASP-bitch two-fer. Obviously it's so she now she can tell Ezra you're a liar, and insinuate we're nonstop doing it in his own bed."
Aria: "Your mom's a cunt."
Wesley: "Are you just getting this memo? Anyway, I'm running away to Spain. Or Halifax."
Aria: "I hear they're getting close to a cure for vampirism up there. Listen, why don't you just stay here anyway? I don't really have any friends. That are cute boys."
Wesley: "Speaking of your boyfriend, he's been going to his son's soccer games, with Alex Mack..."
Aria: "Shut up about that, I'm getting a call."
Aria: "CeCe Drake, what's up? Do you need me to come take pictures of all your Tresemmé products? I can bring my cute friend who is a boy but is not my boyfriend."
Wesley: "Yeah, that sounds more fun than sleeping in my car. But just this one freelance photography job, and then it's Halifax or bust."
OPERATION UNCLEFATHER
Caleb: "You really have just stuck yourself right in the middle of this one, huh?"
Hanna: "You don't know it yet, but you don't really have any options here. I'm kind of relentless. Need I mention, also, your secret club with Paige to get yourselves murdered?"
Caleb: "That's a valid comparison, actually. Not in every way, but in some ways."
Hanna: "Great, so we'll have coffee. I will chaperone."
Caleb: "Hanna."
Hanna: "...I will supervise."
Caleb: "A lot of fucked-up things have happened to you. But one thing you don't know about is what it's like to get Aunt Petuniaed. You don't know my kind of resentment, you've never been in the foster care system."
(Ashley: "Yeah, that's what the 'functioning' part of 'functioning alcoholic' means.")
Hanna: "Then I'm going without you."
Caleb: "Fine."
Hanna: "FINE."
SOME KIND OF MJ AA
Jason sits alone in a circle of chairs, working the Program.
Jason: "My name is Jason, and I used to smoke pot."
Jason: "Hi, Jason."
Emily: "Sorry to interrupt, um, all of this..."
Jason: "Take five, guys."
Emily: "I um, I wanted to talk to you about something. I don't know if you remember, but the other night..."